There's a few magazines and flyers in the stall here. However, they all have that warped look after a few days... like when paper gets wet and dries. I used to read them, but avoid them (even fresh) at all costs now. How does it get wet??

Has this been posted yet? Because if not, this is right up smurfie's alley...

hxxp://www.drinknation.com/urinaltest.php

Smurfie...here's another one for you!

hxxp://www.popmatters.com/pm/columns/article/38971/shit-happens/

Smurfie...here's another one for you!

hxxp://www.popmatters.com/pm/columns/article/38971/shit-happens/

truely great piece of literature

Anyone spend some quality time in a truckstop bathroom lately? I highly recommend it. It's pure joy I tell you. Really.

I hate when my leg falls asleep in a stall. It's usually just one, but it's such an odd feeling. I try to hurry up once that happens, but it never works. There's usually a reason why I've been in there long enough for it to fall asleep.

I sometimes have to stand up and let the blood flow a bit before i finish up.

I hate when my leg falls asleep in a stall. It's usually just one, but it's such an odd feeling. I try to hurry up once that happens, but it never works. There's usually a reason why I've been in there long enough for it to fall asleep.

I sometimes have to stand up and let the blood flow a bit before i finish up.

Both my legs fell asleep once while going at work. It was so bad that I couldn't walk to the sink to wash my hands. I had to actually use my arms to move my legs to walk towards the sink.

Both my legs fell asleep once while going at work. It was so bad that I couldn't walk to the sink to wash my hands. I had to actually use my arms to move my legs to walk towards the sink.

wtf. I actually never heard of or experienced that.

I have found that my legs go to sleep when I leave my pants down around my ankles. Pulling them up to my knees as I sit there doesn't cause it to happen.

I have found that my legs go to sleep when I leave my pants down around my ankles. Pulling them up to my knees as I sit there doesn't cause it to happen.

I'm very uncomfortable shitting with my pants at my knees. No freedom of movement....feel all constricted.

Anyone spend some quality time in a truckstop bathroom lately? I highly recommend it. It's pure joy I tell you. Really.

For manly love be here March 25th at 2:15am sharp

Vote early and often!

--------------------------------

http://www.bestrestrooms.com/rest_vote.html

News

Media Contact:
Survey Editor
757-456-5212

Five Finalists Chosen In America's Best Restroom Contest
Public Voting Begins for Sixth Annual Awards Program Presented by Cintas

June 11, 2007, Cincinnati, Ohio – Immaculate, inviting and, most of all, memorable; finalists in the America’s Best Restroom VI contest have established a new standard for restroom quality. These washrooms are testaments to their proprietors’ sense of taste, flare and humor, featuring some of the world’s finest materials, customer comforts and a few surprises.

The public is invited to vote online through July 31, 2007 at www.bestrestroom.com. The site takes visitors on a photographic tour of each restroom and allows them to choose their favorite. The winner will be announced in August 2007.

This year’s finalists for America’s Best Restroom are:
Business
Location
Restroom Feature

Catch 31 at the Hilton Hotel (restaurant)
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Stylish sinks, dark wood and mosaic tile.

Fandangles' (restaurant)
Flushing, Michigan
Adorned in chandeliers, local artwork and creature comforts.

Jungle Jim’s International Market
Fairfield, Ohio
Chic jungle motif throughout expansive facility concealed by port-o-let doors!

Mix Lounge at Mandalay Bay (Hotel & Casino Night Club)
Las Vegas, Nevada
Atop the 64th floor, toilets face floor to ceiling windows with captivating views.

Vermont Marble Museum
Proctor, Vermont
Shrouded in elegant, polished marble from local Vermont quarry.


Cintas created the Best Restroom award in 2002 to honor those businesses across America that combine function with exceptional style in their public restrooms. Over the last five years, the contest has attracted tens of thousands of voters. The 2007 winner will receive a plaque of recognition and a coveted place on America’s Best Restroom “Hall of Fame” section of the program’s Web site. Previous winners have included restrooms at Notre Dame University, The Grand Casino, Kohler Art Center, the Fort Smith, Arkansas Airport, and in 2006, Wendell’s Restaurant in Westerville, Ohio.

For more information about the Cintas Best Restroom Award VI and the five finalists, contact the Survey Editor at 757-456-5212.

About Cintas Corporation
Headquartered in Cincinnati, Cintas Corporation provides highly specialized services to businesses of all types throughout North America. Cintas designs, manufactures and implements corporate identity uniform programs, and provides entrance mats, restroom supplies, promotional products, first aid and safety products, fire protection services and document management services for approximately 700,000 businesses. Cintas is a publicly held company traded over the Nasdaq Global Select Market under the symbol CTAS, and is a Nasdaq-100 company and component of the Standard & Poor's 500 Index. The Company has achieved 37 consecutive years of growth in sales and earnings, to date.

The fact that Fandangles is in Flushing, MI, renders this vote moot.

Conversely, Vermont Marble Museum, in Proctor, VT, shouldn't even be on this list.

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/news/lifestyles/showingoff/08022002.html

We need the women of FOFC to contribute to this thread.
I bring this up because a woman I work with just noted the difference between men and women in the bathroom.

First off, I am not sure what it is, that I get these kinds of stories. In my current job and last job, I was one of the few married, younger guys on my floor, so I often get to hear about the husband/boyfriend doing something wrong, or, these sorts of stories. Apparently because I am married, I am 1) safe to tell these to and 2) supposed to understand since I am married.

A few hours ago, she asked if I wanted to walk to get something to eat later. Sure.

Now, about 20 mins ago, she comes back to her desk and sends an IM saying she doesn't feel well. I questioned if she still wanted to grab something to eat, if not, no problem.

She proceeds to tell me "No...I feel better now that I spent 20 mins in the bathroom" Um, thanks.

But that wasn't enough. She had to tell me part of the problem was other people came in...so she "had to stop...i can't go while someone else is in there."

What is up with that? My wife has said the same thing, and I just don't get it.

They don't want to make #2 noises when someone else is in there.

Although apparently that one has no problem telling her male co-worker about the whole experience.

They don't want to make #2 noises when someone else is in there.

Although apparently that one has no problem telling her male co-worker about the whole experience.

I couldn't follow the logic either.

I couldn't follow the logic either.

It's probably like shoes, or pretty much anything else, where all other women's opinions are more important than any man's.

she wants you

The last three days, the cleaning lady has been knocking on the washroom door (checking if anybody's in there prior to entering) a couple of minutes after I've entered a stall! And it's been at different times in the day too!

So either I've had really horrible luck lately (I hate having to rush, and I hate making her wait. She knocks after a minute or two again to check), or she keeps the washroom super clean.

But I'm leaning toward the former.

The cleaning lady always knocks twice. You could always try pulling a George Costanza...

The last three days, the cleaning lady has been knocking on the washroom door (checking if anybody's in there prior to entering) a couple of minutes after I've entered a stall! And it's been at different times in the day too!

So either I've had really horrible luck lately (I hate having to rush, and I hate making her wait. She knocks after a minute or two again to check), or she keeps the washroom super clean.

But I'm leaning toward the former.

Put on some seductive music and see what happens

I figured this thread is as good a place as any for this news story...
hxxp://www.denverpost.com/ci_6312943

BEIJING—They're flush with pride in a southwestern Chinese city where a recently-opened porcelain palace features an Egyptian facade, soothing music and more than 1,000 toilets spread out over 32,290 square feet. Officials in Chongqing are preparing to submit an application to Guinness World Records to have the free four-story public bathroom listed as the world's largest, the state-run China Central Television reported Friday.
"We are spreading toilet culture. People can listen to gentle music and watch TV," said Lu Xiaoqing, an official with the Yangrenjie, or "Foreigners Street," tourist area where the bathroom is located. "After they use the bathroom they will be very, very happy."
Footage aired on CCTV showed people milling about the sprawling facility and washing their hands at trough sinks. For open-aired relief, there is a cluster of stalls without a roof.
Some urinals are uniquely shaped, including ones inside open crocodile mouths and several that are topped by the bust of a woman resembling the Virgin Mary.
"Other bathrooms are all the same. This one is very special, I've never seen anything like it," one visitor to the tourist area told CCTV.
There are also plans to build a supermarket nearby, which will sell toilet-related items, CCTV reported.

"We are spreading toilet culture."


I hope it's not contagious.

We need the women of FOFC to contribute to this thread.
I bring this up because a woman I work with just noted the difference between men and women in the bathroom.

First off, I am not sure what it is, that I get these kinds of stories. In my current job and last job, I was one of the few married, younger guys on my floor, so I often get to hear about the husband/boyfriend doing something wrong, or, these sorts of stories. Apparently because I am married, I am 1) safe to tell these to and 2) supposed to understand since I am married.

A few hours ago, she asked if I wanted to walk to get something to eat later. Sure.

Now, about 20 mins ago, she comes back to her desk and sends an IM saying she doesn't feel well. I questioned if she still wanted to grab something to eat, if not, no problem.

She proceeds to tell me "No...I feel better now that I spent 20 mins in the bathroom" Um, thanks.

But that wasn't enough. She had to tell me part of the problem was other people came in...so she "had to stop...i can't go while someone else is in there."

What is up with that? My wife has said the same thing, and I just don't get it.

It is funny you posted that. I NEVER use public restrooms. When I drive from Little Rock to Houston to see family I can go the whole 8 hours without stopping to use the restroom. Also, when I am at a friends house and need to use the bathroom I always turn on running water so nobody can hear me. I dont know why i do this, but most females I know do.

I guess I'm planning a China vacation next.

It is funny you posted that. I NEVER use public restrooms. When I drive from Little Rock to Houston to see family I can go the whole 8 hours without stopping to use the restroom. Also, when I am at a friends house and need to use the bathroom I always turn on running water so nobody can hear me. I dont know why i do this, but most females I know do.

There are at least three things in the paragraph above I find a bit creepy

SI

http://lh5.google.com/DarthGuapo/RpG__mU1cyI/AAAAAAAAACU/kmgZtW9QPAw/s400/thread-made-of-gold.png.jpg

"After they use the bathroom they will be very, very happy."


indeed

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070711/ap_on_fe_st/auto_toilet_paper_3

The company believes most people will be satisfied with five sheets — and use 20 percent less toilet paper.

"Most people will take the amount given," says Thorne. Waxing philosophical, he adds, "People generally in life will take what you give them."

Kimberly-Clark turned to focus groups and years of internal research to determine just how much is right.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070711/ap_on_fe_st/auto_toilet_paper_3

Ok, women's restroom. Good. What the hell can I use five sheets for, blowing my nose?

I'm not happy about this 5 sheet thing one bit. We can't take this sitting down.

You should've told guy #3 "Hey buddy, there is only room for one in here."

Or better yet... Hold on, let me unlock the door!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070711/ap_on_fe_st/auto_toilet_paper_3

"the $1 billion away-from-home toilet paper market"

We truly have too many MBAs in this country

I was just in a restroom stall adjacent to a 400-pound man who had diarrhea... very, very noisy diarrhea. I want to die.

I was just in a restroom stall adjacent to a 400-pound man who had diarrhea... very, very noisy diarrhea. I want to die.

that's disturbing on many levels.

one being that you sized him up somehow. either prior to his entry into the stall or *shudder* he was already in his stall.

I hope you had the splashguard down.

that's disturbing on many levels.

one being that you sized him up somehow. either prior to his entry into the stall or *shudder* he was already in his stall.
Nonono, it's a relatively small office. I know this guy and see him every day. This man has several issues, including frequest farting, burping, violent coughing, and vomiting in his office. People tend to stay out of his office if they can help it, but the only thing worse is sharing a restroom with him.

Nonono, it's a relatively small office. I know this guy and see him every day. This man has several issues, including frequest farting, burping, violent coughing, and vomiting in his office. People tend to stay out of his office if they can help it, but the only thing worse is sharing a restroom with him.

that's good for you. makes you look like an adonis to the accountant pool.

I went camping this weekend, and we ate breakfast on Sunday (the day we were leaving) at a restaurant in the small town near the campsite.

Upon finishing my breakfast, I had to use the stall. BOTH stall doors didn't lock. I was trying to hold the door closed as I went, but couldn't do it all the time. One of the time I let go of the door, an old man opened it... he immediately said "sorry" and closed the door. I didn't even get a chance to get a good look of his face, except that he was old. I quickly said "it doesn't lock" as he was entering the other stall, and says: "Looks like this door is like that other one too." I felt like I had a bond with that old man.

I later heard from the girl that are breakfast with us that the women's stalls were freaking curtains.

I think that restaurant had the worst washroom facilities for both sexes that I've seen.

I think that restaurant had the worst washroom facilities for both sexes that I've seen.


dude?

dude?

Sorry, I mean maybe I've been somewhere that the male washroom is worse, but knowing that the female washroom in this restaurant was equally as stupid... it makes the entire thing the worst combination.

probably a good move to clarify that the door didn't lock

I was just in a restroom stall adjacent to a 400-pound man who had diarrhea... very, very noisy diarrhea. I want to die.

You know, I think there's a problem in this country. I'm guessing it's either our eating habits or just not taking care of ourselves...but I really can't even think of the last time I was in the bathroom at work and, if there was even one person in a stall, did not hear some form of explosive diarrhea taking place. Honestly, not once. It's a guarantee: if I go in there and see a stall door closed, with 100% reliability I will hear fireworks.

Prove me wrong, America.

that's good for you. makes you look like an adonis to the accountant pool.
I guess now would be a good time to mention that this man is the accountant's boss.

I guess now would be a good time to mention that this man is the accountant's boss.

you are so in

you can be the relatively attractive bad boy from the other department

you are so in

you can be the relatively attractive bad boy from the other department
You think I'm attractive? :) :) :)

You think I'm attractive? :) :) :)

I said "relatively attractive" in the sense you don't weigh 400 pounds and fart all over the place.

I said "relatively attractive" in the sense you don't weigh 400 pounds and fart all over the place.
You fucking heartbreaker.

Now we know rkmsuf thinks John Oates is hot.

I said "relatively attractive" in the sense you don't weigh 400 pounds and fart all over the place.

You have a gentle way with words.

Now we know rkmsuf thinks John Oates is hot.


his kiss is on my list?


eh, no. but he isn't an ugly man to say the least.

You have a gentle way with words.

ty. I know he's sensitive in this regard.

I said "relatively attractive" in the sense you don't weigh 400 pounds and fart all over the place.

So you can be relatively attractive if you just weigh 400 lbs?

http://img171.imageshack.us/img171/7797/jfatlockxc5.jpg

The man's sexy.

You mutha.

So I'm in stall 1 taking a nice, leisurely friday morning dump and this asswhite comes in and goes right in stall 2. Stall 3 and 4 are vacant you turdmuncher!

Ruined a perfectly good dump.

Serenity now.

http://a3.vox.com/6a00b8ea0716ac1bc000d414225d233c7f-500pi

rkmsuf went kinda bald there.

I had my shirt on in the stall though.

You know, I find that I like taking my shirt off when doing the business at home. Nowhere else though. I feel more relaxed and comfortable. Also bring in something to read, or my Nintendo DS.

http://img220.imageshack.us/img220/7855/b9b47499eb422f8288121dbaw3.gif

I just saw something odd. Our employee bathroom is out of order, so I had to use the main bathroom where clients can go. I walk in and the stall door is wide open with a guy sitting on the toilet. I know the door locks because I reluctantly had to drop a deuce in there this morning. He has his pants up around his hips and I'm not sure how he isn't going in his pants from the quick glance I took, but he was clearly going from the sounds and smell. I got out of there as quickly as possible.

lol. what's odd about that?

I just saw something odd. Our employee bathroom is out of order, so I had to use the main bathroom where clients can go. I walk in and the stall door is wide open with a guy sitting on the toilet. I know the door locks because I reluctantly had to drop a deuce in there this morning. He has his pants up around his hips and I'm not sure how he isn't going in his pants from the quick glance I took, but he was clearly going from the sounds and smell. I got out of there as quickly as possible.

Yes that's odd.

Maybe he's a public guy and can't go unless the door is open? Or maybe he was just sitting there, and the sounds and smells you witnessed were from another stall?

Yes that's odd.

Maybe he's a public guy and can't go unless the door is open? Or maybe he was just sitting there, and the sounds and smells you witnessed were from another stall?


There is only 1 stall and 2 urinals in this bathroom (there is a larger public bathroom upstairs.)

There is only 1 stall and 2 urinals in this bathroom (there is a larger public bathroom upstairs.)

I can't explain it then... that's weird. Maybe he was completely hammered and didn't realize what he was doing?

There was an old security video of a public place in the city that captured some scruffy guy (bum, or drunk, I don't know) taking a dump in a potted plant while people walked by...

Also bring in something to read, or my Nintendo DS.

I'm guilty of this. I've auto trained myself to read when on the crapper. I spend so much time reading in there now I am afraid to read anywhere else... for fear I'll shit myself.

I work from home now so I don't get any decent public bathroom storires anymore but have a few from when I worked in a datacenter a few years ago. I wokred with a bunch of filthy bastards anyway and was happy to get out of there.

Someone decided to spread poop all over the womens bathroom walls, mirrors and floor right around the time we had layoff notices. We were all called into a meeting and had to go through training on being sanitary which was stupid cause it should have been the women that needed training. :)

Same job and same bathroom area only thins time it was the mens room a few weeks later. Poop AND blood covering the entire inside of a stall. Another training session a few weeks later on the danger of bloodborne pathogens, blah blah blah. I said screw the training, I wanna know who tried to kill someone in the mens room.

I'm guilty of this. I've auto trained myself to read when on the crapper. I spend so much time reading in there now I am afraid to read anywhere else... for fear I'll shit myself.

I work from home now so I don't get any decent public bathroom storires anymore but have a few from when I worked in a datacenter a few years ago. I wokred with a bunch of filthy bastards anyway and was happy to get out of there.

Someone decided to spread poop all over the womens bathroom walls, mirrors and floor right around the time we had layoff notices. We were all called into a meeting and had to go through training on being sanitary which was stupid cause it should have been the women that needed training. :)

Same job and same bathroom area only thins time it was the mens room a few weeks later. Poop AND blood covering the entire inside of a stall. Another training session a few weeks later on the danger of bloodborne pathogens, blah blah blah. I said screw the training, I wanna know who tried to kill someone in the mens room.

That's so disgusting.

And I find that since I wait until I get to work to do my morning poop now, I read far less and haven't played DS in a few months. :(

Hey so, we discussed in here somewhere how it's weird when someone is talking on their cell phone in the next stall? You don't HAVE to answer your damn phone all the time!

I think at the urinal is even worse and I've seen too many people do that lately, too.

SI

A question for the FOFC ladies:

Do women's stalls have divider walls that go all the way to the ground?

What?

They would suffocate in there!

What?

They would suffocate in there!

I'll suffocate you for killing me in my first werewolf game!!

I'll suffocate you for killing me in my first werewolf game!!

Werewolves don't use stalls. In fact it's questionable they even go to the bathroom at all. Never seen one pissing or taking a dump.

Werewolves don't use stalls. In fact it's questionable they even go to the bathroom at all. Never seen one pissing or taking a dump.

Imagine having to wipe that hairy ass. Poor guys.

Hey so, we discussed in here somewhere how it's weird when someone is talking on their cell phone in the next stall? You don't HAVE to answer your damn phone all the time!

One of my absolute favorite ways to be an asshole is to loudly respond to every question the guy in the stall next to me says on his cell. Preferably with profanity. If someone's rude enough to disturb my tranquil moment on the can, I'm certainly rude enough to ruin his phone call.

A question for the FOFC ladies:

Do women's stalls have divider walls that go all the way to the ground?

No. I wish they would though. Nothing more annoying than some woman bringing her kids in and having them looking under the stalls.

Also something that weirds me out is the women that bring their 8 year old sons in the bathroom with them. Kid should not be in there at that age. And the boys know it too and look so uncomfortable. You know that's some hyper vigilant neurotic mother and that boy will be traumatized for life.

And yes, women's bathrooms are the worst. Most women are slobs, don't let the boobages fool you.

No. I wish they would though. Nothing more annoying than some woman bringing her kids in and having them looking under the stalls.

Also something that weirds me out is the women that bring their 8 year old sons in the bathroom with them. Kid should not be in there at that age. And the boys know it too and look so uncomfortable. You know that's some hyper vigilant neurotic mother and that boy will be traumatized for life.

And yes, women's bathrooms are the worst. Most women are slobs, don't let the boobages fool you.

Hmm, so the woman in that gay soliciting re-enactment video must have never used a stall...

I feel uncomfortable when fathers bring their daughters in the men's washroom too. But I don't think I've seen someone as old as eight.

Men's washrooms in bars/clubs frequently have urine on the floor, and is a reason I don't like going often. Are women's washrooms the same?

No. I wish they would though. Nothing more annoying than some woman bringing her kids in and having them looking under the stalls.

Also something that weirds me out is the women that bring their 8 year old sons in the bathroom with them. Kid should not be in there at that age. And the boys know it too and look so uncomfortable. You know that's some hyper vigilant neurotic mother and that boy will be traumatized for life.

And yes, women's bathrooms are the worst. Most women are slobs, don't let the boobages fool you.

A female who reads FOFC and is from Jersey.

So, uhh...you single?

(taps foot)

Are you tapping my foot under the stall?

Me haz boyfriend.

Hmm, so the woman in that gay soliciting re-enactment video must have never used a stall...

I feel uncomfortable when fathers bring their daughters in the men's washroom too. But I don't think I've seen someone as old as eight.

Men's washrooms in bars/clubs frequently have urine on the floor, and is a reason I don't like going often. Are women's washrooms the same?

In college, the bathrooms in our dorms would be cleaned everyday during the week, but weren't at all on the weekend. So from Friday morning (before everyone woke up hungover, in pain, and hit the bathroom to do one of many things) to Monday morning they were a fucking disaster.

On a random weekend, the girls on my floor were complaining about how gross their bathroom was, which none of us believed because of what we'd seen in ours. Surely they just hadn't experienced the atrocities of a common bathroom shared by 30 guys. So we agreed that we'd walk into theirs to see what they were so grossed out about.

Good God.

There were things going on there that I can't even describe -- things I hadn't seen before. If our bathroom was a 25 on a disgustingness scale of 1-10, this was a perfect-QB-rating-like 158.3.

Are you tapping my foot under the stall?

Me haz boyfriend.

Well, if he ever reads this board and learns the techniques to proposition gay sex and gets busted as a result, drop me a PM.

A question for the FOFC ladies:

Do women's stalls have divider walls that go all the way to the ground?

The only time I remember seeing one was in Legoland.

The only time I remember seeing one was in Legoland.

That's an odd place to have fancy washrooms.

Well, if he ever reads this board and learns the techniques to proposition gay sex and gets busted as a result, drop me a PM.

He is a member of the board. :D

Been meaning to add this for awhile...and now since Stalls has risen to the top of the boards again, no reason not too.

There is a guy on my floor--completely another division of the company. No clue on his name, exact job, etc. But there is NO doubt in my mind he's obsessive-compulsive.

He bursts through the bathroom door, and talks to himself the entire he's in there. It's very nerve-racking trying to take a piss when a guy two urinals down (yes, he at least observes the buffer urinal) repeating " OK...OK OK...alright...OK...yeah...uh-uh...OK...yeah....alright...OK OK" the whole time.

Then I've watched as he washes his hands multiple times, and turns on and off off the sink faucets.

What does make me feel better is I think I've got a ways to go to become the oddest person on my floor.

He is a member of the board. :D

If it's Pumpy, I think he'd be down with you giving me a shot.

A female who reads FOFC and is from Jersey.

So, uhh...you single?

(taps foot)

LOL. I just spit up my soda.

There were things going on there that I can't even describe -- things I hadn't seen before. If our bathroom was a 25 on a disgustingness scale of 1-10, this was a perfect-QB-rating-like 158.3.

I just love the "perfect QB rating" use in this thread :D

SI

Nothing better than one continuous log with a clean break at the end.

Perfecto!

http://img509.imageshack.us/img509/7149/logflumecg8.jpg?

http://img509.imageshack.us/img509/7149/logflumecg8.jpg?

I bet that guy is fondling the girl under that blanket.

That's a girl?
:confused:

That's a girl?
:confused:

Come on Suburban don't act like you've never seen anything like that at Kennywood.

That's a girl?
:confused:

The pants look pretty tight... and that hair... oh no, it better be a girl.

Ok, I just saw something in the restroom that immediately make me think of this thread.

This guy comes in to wash his coffee mug (I guess some of the suites in this building don't have a sink). He's finishes washing the mug and then proceeds over to the urinal with his coffee mug in hand and starts pissing. He might as well have been pissing right in the mug.

There was a group of us at a Chiefs game at Arrowhead years ago. A bunch of us get up at halftime to hit the john. The line is so damn long and the wait is going to be forever. Steve looks at me and then nods towards the sink. Not sure about now but at the time the handwashing facility wasn't really a sink but like a half-moon thing with water always running out of a pipe that followed the half moon (hope that made sense). Anyway old Steve he walks over to the "sink" unzips and starts to piss (keep in mind this long line of men and nobody is at the sinks washing their hands). I would say withing a minute everyone of these halfmoons was surrounded by guys taking a leak. I bet the ushers were wondering how the bathroom cleared out so quickly.

LOL great story.

I love it when you're in a mens room at a game and a stall opens and some drunk broad comes out all proud that she just used the mens room.

LOL great story.

Holy crap. I missed that story before. But I pointed out earlier this year to a friend that the signs over the sink at Kaufman (right next door) say "for hand washing purposes only" or some such nonsense. We had a good little chuckle and speculated why that was probably there. Now it sounds like we were right ;)

SI

Well that was something new. Piss on top of the urinal.

Well that was something new. Piss on top of the urinal.

Must be a really tall man.

I have a disgusting story, and it makes me afraid to use the stalls here now. Before I went to sit down, I noticed a thick, whiteish goopy thing in the toilet, stuck to the bottom-front. It had a pube in it and looked really sick. Either a big loogy, or uhh... let's not go there. I flushed the toilet, and it didn't budge.

I haven't gone back in that stall to check if it's still there.

I know this isn't about stalls, but since it's bathroom-related, I figure this is a good place for it:

I walk into the bathroom, and some guy is at the middle urinal (three total). Nice. I think about just heading to the stalls for some privacy, but it looks like he's about finished, so I walk over to the third urinal (the first one was the short one). As I walk behind him, the guy pulls his pants DOWN for a second, then back up. Way down. I didn't really look, but I could see either pale white skin, or underwear. wtf?

I know this isn't about stalls, but since it's bathroom-related, I figure this is a good place for it:

I walk into the bathroom, and some guy is at the middle urinal (three total). Nice. I think about just heading to the stalls for some privacy, but it looks like he's about finished, so I walk over to the third urinal (the first one was the short one). As I walk behind him, the guy pulls his pants DOWN for a second, then back up. Way down. I didn't really look, but I could see either pale white skin, or underwear. wtf?

same thing today. walk in, dude is standing near the urinals pants at his knees, tighy whities in full effect. no idea what is going on there. presume he had finished and was doing some sort of tuck in thing.

I know this isn't about stalls, but since it's bathroom-related, I figure this is a good place for it:

I walk into the bathroom, and some guy is at the middle urinal (three total). Nice. I think about just heading to the stalls for some privacy, but it looks like he's about finished, so I walk over to the third urinal (the first one was the short one). As I walk behind him, the guy pulls his pants DOWN for a second, then back up. Way down. I didn't really look, but I could see either pale white skin, or underwear. wtf?

hahaha. wtf indeed. Is this some new "foot tapping" signal?

The guy obviously didn't take that urinal quiz, where you pick which urinal is the correct one to use.

I have a disgusting story, and it makes me afraid to use the stalls here now. Before I went to sit down, I noticed a thick, whiteish goopy thing in the toilet, stuck to the bottom-front. It had a pube in it and looked really sick. Either a big loogy, or uhh... let's not go there. I flushed the toilet, and it didn't budge.

I haven't gone back in that stall to check if it's still there.

Great, I shoulda known better than to wander in this thread while I'm eating. Very smart DC... very smart.

I went into the bathroom at work the other day and there was this dude in a wheelchair in front of the middle urinal. I was confused what a dude in a wheelchair was doing at a urinal, and as I walked by I saw a styrofoam cup in his lap. Apparently he had his boy out and was peeing into the cup, and then dumped the pee into the urinal. A little odd, especially considering the handicap accessible stall was completely free...

Great, I shoulda known better than to wander in this thread while I'm eating. Very smart DC... very smart.

Whenever it pops into my head, I actually start to gag. I think this has scarred me.

Whenever it pops into my head, I actually start to gag. I think this has scarred me.

Why don't you go and take a picture of it? Maybe it didn't flush cuz it was mutant goo.

Why don't you go and take a picture of it? Maybe it didn't flush cuz it was mutant goo.

Ungh, I don't want to see it again. It HAS to be gone now anyway. If it's still there, I'm going to another floor to use the men's washroom now.

same thing today. walk in, dude is standing near the urinals pants at his knees, tighy whities in full effect. no idea what is going on there. presume he had finished and was doing some sort of tuck in thing.

Another good reason I just avoid tucking in my shirt at work anymore.

Most humans can tuck in while wearing pants normally. In fact, that's the definition of "tuck." Otherwise, you're just quickly pulling up your pants in hopes that shit won't get all bunched up.

My dad drops his shit to tuck his shirts in. He'll do it in the middle of the living room.

I don't go home too often.

http://www.ext.vt.edu/pubs/nutrition/348-965/handwashingposter.jpg

Ok, so one of the two stalls was occupied. I went in the other, and noticed there was tp in already. I flushed and guess what. Overflow. Nice. Now I'm holding it in, and had to tell someone the toilet was overflowing. They probably think it was me. No way I'm using the other stall with toilet water all over the floor.

Ok, so one of the two stalls was occupied. I went in the other, and noticed there was tp in already. I flushed and guess what. Overflow. Nice. Now I'm holding it in, and had to tell someone the toilet was overflowing. They probably think it was me. No way I'm using the other stall with toilet water all over the floor.

NEVER flush upon entry. There is usually a reason it wasn't flushed before. Always just find somewhere else to go.

NEVER flush upon entry. There is usually a reason it wasn't flushed before. Always just find somewhere else to go.

Lesson learned.

Heh, seems like others don't like phones in stalls:

http://www.sync-blog.com/sync/2007/11/the-bathroom-st.html

NEVER flush upon entry. There is usually a reason it wasn't flushed before. Always just find somewhere else to go.

This tip saved me today. Thank you RPI!

When I turn 35, I'm going to run for President with the following being my sole stance: all bathrooms in America will be equipped with a speaker that plays some sort of radio at a reasonably loud volume 24/7 to drown out the sounds of explosions, waterfalls, and grunting.

I'll figure out all that health care, terrorism, border security stuff out once I'm in office.

When I turn 35, I'm going to run for President with the following being my sole stance: all bathrooms in America will be equipped with a speaker that plays some sort of radio at a reasonably loud volume 24/7 to drown out the sounds of explosions, waterfalls, and grunting.

I'll figure out all that health care, terrorism, border security stuff out once I'm in office.
This is good news, and if you weren't a Rangers fan, I'd vote for you.

I'm sure that the explosions and waterfalls happen for women, but I wonder if the grunting happens, too. If it does, is it a quiet grunting, or is it more like a Monica Seles grunting? I want to know this, although I probably don't really want to know this.

This is good news, and if you weren't a Rangers fan, I'd vote for you.

I'm sure that the explosions and waterfalls happen for women, but I wonder if the grunting happens, too. If it does, is it a quiet grunting, or is it more like a Monica Seles grunting? I want to know this, although I probably don't really want to know this.

There's a grunter in lurker's office. But she stops grunting when her cell phone rings, and answers the call pretty casually.

I walked over to my secretary's desk yesterday to drop off a memo and I walked into a brick wall of fart. It was so bad that my eyes started to water and I coughed/gagged. I can't bring myself to walk by her desk since then.

There's a grunter in lurker's office. But she stops grunting when her cell phone rings, and answers the call pretty casually.

She wants to make it seem like she's hard at work. Whether that means grunting on the can, or talking business.

I like when there's classical music playing. It brings class to probably the most classless room in a building.

This is good news, and if you weren't a Rangers fan, I'd vote for you.

At least a Ranger fan would have a chance...if a Devil fan ever tried to run, their campaign strategy would be to sit back and casually redirect all the mudslinging by the opponent without ever going on the offensive.

I walked into a brick wall of fart.

I'm pretty upset that in my 24 years, I've never heard that phrase before. Bravo.

This is good news, and if you weren't a Rangers fan, I'd vote for you.

I'm sure that the explosions and waterfalls happen for women, but I wonder if the grunting happens, too. If it does, is it a quiet grunting, or is it more like a Monica Seles grunting? I want to know this, although I probably don't really want to know this.

I haven't heard any grunters, but there's a whole lotta women that flush the toilet everytime they release some sort of a noise. My first thought is, "Damn, you're wasting water so people don't hear you fart?" Then I count how many times they flush... okay, they flushed 4 times, that roughly 12 gallons of water that went to waste.

I haven't heard any grunters, but there's a whole lotta women that flush the toilet everytime they release some sort of a noise. My first thought is, "Damn, you're wasting water so people don't hear you fart?" Then I count how many times they flush... okay, they flushed 4 times, that roughly 12 gallons of water that went to waste.

Isn't that water already waste since it's in the toilet?

At least a Ranger fan would have a chance...if a Devil fan ever tried to run, their campaign strategy would be to sit back and casually redirect all the mudslinging by the opponent without ever going on the offensive.
AND WE LIKE IT THAT WAY!

Isn't that water already waste since it's in the toilet?

Technically it is, but it's unecessary to keep flushing the toilet if there's nothing in there.

So, I went to eat lunch in a rundown area of the city. The restaurant didn't have a washroom, so I had to use the washroom in the connected rundown beer vendor/bar. The stall doors didn't lock, there was no soap, and the front of the door had a note that said:

"Please see front for tissue paper."

It stunk so bad too. Horrible washroom.

So, I went to eat lunch in a rundown area of the city. The restaurant didn't have a washroom, so I had to use the washroom in the connected rundown beer vendor/bar. The stall doors didn't lock, there was no soap, and the front of the door had a note that said:

"Please see front for tissue paper."

It stunk so bad too. Horrible washroom.

You could have avoided the whole situation if you tied it in a knot.

Every time I come into this thread it makes me realize how supremely and divinely happy I am to be female...

Every time I come into this thread it makes me realize how supremely and divinely happy I am to be female...

Every time a girl gets her periods or gives birth it makes me realize how supremely and divinely happy I am to be male...

:D

Every time a girl gets her periods or gives birth it makes me realize how supremely and divinely happy I am to be male...

:D

True...I could live without the first, but would never in a million years trade the experience of the second...

Insane OT thread on the 2+2(poker) forums entitled: "How do blind people know when to stop wiping." I LOL'd multiple times throughout the discussion and had to share it somewhere. Naturally, I first thought of the stalls thread here.

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showthread.php?t=112374

ahh the memories of this one http://www.operationsports.com/fofc/showthread.php?t=23383

Insane OT thread on the 2+2(poker) forums entitled: "How do blind people know when to stop wiping." I LOL'd multiple times throughout the discussion and had to share it somewhere. Naturally, I first thought of the stalls thread here.

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showthread.php?t=112374

I haven't read through the link yet, but that is a very interesting question.

I've read through half of the linked blind poop talk and I think it's required reading for anyone that's posted in this thread.

edit: But I'm stopping there. That's enough poo reading for one day.

Speaking of poop, I just read something crazy about Osi Umenyiora liking to poop on girls. I thought he limited himself to merely shitting on opposing tackles.

Speaking of poop, I just read something crazy about Osi Umenyiora liking to poop on girls.

What was crazy about it?

I went to a nice steak place last night, and had to use the washroom when I first got there. One of my friends was telling me that the hand towels are amazing, but I didn't think much of it.

Let me tell you, they were very nice. Disposable paper-towel looking things with the restaurant's logo on them, but they were super absorbent and soft. I felt bad throwing them away after and seeing a big pile in the trash.

OK so this seemed 'Stalls' worthy...

go take a leak. our bathroom has 4 stalls, 3 urinals. 3 of the 4 stalls taken and urinals 1 and 3...so I am partially at fault, i should have circled back to stall #1. But I choose the middle urinal. I felt ashamed.

But, then I didn't feel as bad...guy from urinal one finishes...flushes...backs away. Proceeds to stop in front of the stalls...stoops down and ties his shoes! How awkward was that for the guy in the stall he stopped in front of!?!?! :eek:

He stopped in front of a taken stall instead of the empty one? Maybe he was hoping for a peep show or something...

Bad form by the shoe tier.

Or he thought he was getting a signal from Larry Craig and decided to tie his shoes to be sure he saw what he thought he saw. Guess he didn't since I presume he left after that.

Last week I went into the bathroom and as soon as I walked in I heard someone snoring. Seriously, snoring really loud...sawing logs. Another guy was in there at one of the other urinals and he was laughing. How the hell can you fall asleep in a men's bathroom? I told one of my co-workers and he went in about 10 minutes later and the guy was still snoring away.

So at work here, some guy leaves massive turds in a toilet, with no sign of toilet paper. No one is sure who it is, or how it's done. But it's obvious this is being done on purpose.

I hate to be the one cleaning his underwear.

Last week I went into the bathroom and as soon as I walked in I heard someone snoring. Seriously, snoring really loud...sawing logs. Another guy was in there at one of the other urinals and he was laughing. How the hell can you fall asleep in a men's bathroom? I told one of my co-workers and he went in about 10 minutes later and the guy was still snoring away.

I walked into a bathroom once and heard a guy snoring pretty loudly. Unfortunately for that guy, I walked into the bathroom at the same time the VP walked into the bathroom. He banged on the door and woke the guy up. The next day, he was given his walking papers. Turned out that he was going in there to take a 2 hour nap almost every day and the VP found out about it after finding him asleep in the stall.

Ever have to take a dump to the point that you end up playing peek-a-boo on the way to the bowl?

Smurf you nasty.

Smurf you nasty.

don't even try to tell us you've never had a mole poke it's head out of the hole and then go back in

Do you go when you have to or do you wait till the last possible moment so the shit flies out?

I don't know if it's ever peeked out and I've pushed it back in. Hard to tell.

I'm mixed on the waiting till the last possible moment. It depends on the situation.

don't even try to tell us you've never had a mole poke it's head out of the hole and then go back in

You need more fiber in your diet.

Do you go when you have to or do you wait till the last possible moment so the shit flies out?

Certainly it's more fun to make the shit fly out. The norm is to go when needed but sometimes the butt has a sense of humor and tests your mental toughness with an immediate need.

You need more fiber in your diet.

The fun ones are the non solid games of peek-a-boo.

The fun ones are the non solid games of peek-a-boo.

Those are a little scary and require skill not to pop that bubble that comes out. If you do, you have a mess in your pants!

Forgot to post this when it happened...

A few weeks ago, I walked into the restroom at my new office, and there was a guy standing at the urinal... with his pants and shorts pulled all the way down to his ankles.

When I walked in he quickly pulled them up and left.

I don't even want to know why or what he was doing.

---
Same office.

Co-worker tells me that he had seen footprints on the toilet seats for months and kind of ignored it until he was sitting in a stall one day and thought he was alone in the bathroom.

He hears a sound and looks over to see a set of feet drop down off the toilet in the stall next to him. It appears that we have someone standing on the toilet to squat while doing his business. Never come across that before.

Bathroom at work is pretty standard. Two sinks up front, smallish single stall on far left, then two urinals one lower than the other for children. Opposite wall has a large handicap stall.

Walk in yesterday and someone is TCOB in slimjim (small stall) while both urinals are available there is another guy taking a piss in handyland with the door wide open. WTF? I just walked out.

OK, so I just had a bizarre experience perfect for this thread.

I'm one of few people who get to the office before 8am, so usually when I go into the bathroom before 8, I'm the first one in and have to turn the lights on. So this morning I go in about 15 minutes ago, flip the lights on, and take the closest stall to the door. Except I notice a smell that suggests someone has taken a dump recently. But the lights were off, so I was a bit confused. Then I realized someone was in the stall next to me (it's the handicapped stall, so I can't see feet without making a concerted effort, but I hear noise). Apparently someone has been sitting in the bathroom with the lights off. After 3 minutes, he gets up and leaves, without a flush or washing his hands.

So...WTF just went on? Did someone else take a dump even earlier, and this guy just wanted some alone time in the dark which I ruined, so he left? Or did he finish the job before I came in and left without washing up? Or did he beat me by a millisecond and not even get started, then left to find another bathroom where he could be alone in the dark? And if so, then what about the smell that was clearly in the air?

That was really, really strange.

Sort of unrelated, but Ksyrup's story reminded me of this...

My company is spread of 3, used to be 4, buildings in downtown.

At one point I was in the oldest of the 4 buildings, and the bathrooms were in the hallways, not within the office suites. For that reason, they had motion sensor lights.

The timer was for about 5 mins I think. At normally, throughout the day, it wasn't a problem. As soon as you opened the door, lights go on, plus the normal amount of traffic.

But if you sat in the far stall at the right time of day...you'd be in there, and have the lights go out. The position of the light, the only way to have it kick back on was to wave your arms above the stall walls.

Used the urinal at work and the person in the stall next to it obviously had the shits and it had to be one hell of a case since the guy was grunting and sobbing.

I should have asked what he ate so I could avoid it.

Sobbing???

Sobbing???

Good Lord Almighty.

Sobbing???

Yep. Everytime his cornhole blew.

What made it funnier is that I just saw a rerun of South Park's biggest crap episode yesterday... reminded me of Randy Marsh.

Sounds like a bad case of the 'roids. Have had them flare up and everything you even thought about pooping the thought of glass shards coming out my ass just made me want to cry.

I don't know why I waited so long to post this...

So a few months ago there has been a person or persons who have been clogging up the toilets. I'm talking nasty black shit that stunk so bad I almost threw up. This was a weekly occurrence where you'd walk into the bathroom to take a shit and one of the stalls would be out of order.

So finally our boss had to send an email out to everyone on our floor about proper bathroom etiquette. There was statements in there that were so funny, I laughed for a good 15-20 minutes.

"If you have a larger than normal load please use multiple flushes."
"If this continues we might have to curb some bathroom privileges."

People are nasty.

How on earth are they going to curb bathroom privileges?

First they said they would take paper towels out of the bathroom cause someone was stuffing them in the toilet.

Is it a big office? I would start paying attention to where people are going out to eat each day. Start asking where people have been eating dinner. You will eventually find the prick who is attending Big Ed's BBQ every Wednesday night.

Everytime guys talk about this, it is always accepted that there are buffer zones. I wonder if this idiots just don't have any guy friends where they can learn that this type of behavior will not be tolerated!


No this can't be right, becuase I never had male role models to teach me this stuff and I still managed to learn buffer zones and safe spacing on my own.

Its an instinct in men and if they don't have it they aren't men.

I saw a couple used condoms in the bathroom yesterday, I am assuming there was a gang bang or something of that sort.

Maybe it was a gaybang.

Hilarious for nerds:

Urinal protocol vulnerability « xkcd (http://blag.xkcd.com/2009/09/02/urinal-protocol-vulnerability/)

Hilarious for nerds:

Urinal protocol vulnerability « xkcd (http://blag.xkcd.com/2009/09/02/urinal-protocol-vulnerability/)

Is it sad that I've considered writing programs to determine maximum urinal efficiency? I think there's also one thing not in his equation- short urinals (i.e. the little kid ones)- those throw everything off.

SI

This could be a poll question but anyway...

Today I had the mad case of the shits. So I bolt to the bathroom. And it is one of those shits where you get the sweats and shortness of breath...actually I think it was the beer shits cause I got drunk last night but you get my point.

With mere seconds to pick a stall before I shit myself I ran into the bathroom where there are 3 stalls.

Stall 1 - piss all over the seat...it was like someone stood there and aimed for the seat not the toilet.

Stall 2 - Pubies sprinkled on the seat like they just shaved their junk.

Stall 3 - I think a yeti just dumped in the toilet and didn't flush. The shit was actually over the water.

What to you pick?

Stall 2, easily.

Stall 2, no question. 5 seconds of anus-clenching while you wipe off that seat with some TP is a much better option than the other two.

I would take stall 1. Better to sit in pee than take home crabs. And I think the yeti stall is completely out of the question at this point. Plus IMO the pee would be easier to clean up than the pubes.

4. Shit in the urinal.

Stall 1. Urine is sterile.

Stall 1. Urine is sterile.

Urine is sterile, and if it was your own it's not so bad to sit in, but the thought of sitting in someone else's grosses me out a bit. Go for the pube one, at least if they were trimming their junk maybe they were hygenic about it.

Secret option #4. You go across the street to the near vacant office complex and use their bathrooms which are always clean with no one around.

No wait.. that is what I do. Nevermind.

Secret option #4. You go across the street to the near vacant office complex and use their bathrooms which are always clean with no one around.

No wait.. that is what I do. Nevermind.

http://img254.imageshack.us/img254/9966/georgecostanza.jpg (http://img254.imageshack.us/i/georgecostanza.jpg/)

We have people who do that all the time. Our floor is more than half empty so people come down to floor 2 to, well, number 2 in our bathrooms. You can always tell who they are, too, because only 1 sink in our bathroom (of the 3) stays on for more than 5 seconds so they're the ones always fighting whereas the normal residents of the floor long ago realized which sink was the only working one.

SI

I'd like to contribute a restroom story. The restroom in question is a fairly large office restroom, 6 urinals on this side with an equal number of sinks. The stalls are on the other side. Lots of people use this restroom. It's not exactly private.

Anyway as I go in, there's a guy standing in the dead middle of the room with his pants around his ankles. He's tucking his T-shirt -- not just INTO his tighty-whiteys -- but he's pulled the shirt all the way through and he's carefully arranging the bottom of the T-shirt as it pokes out the leg holes. It's like a white underwear mini-skirt.

Everytime this thread gets bumped, I hope it leads to smurf being back for good.

Everytime this thread gets bumped, I hope it leads to smurf being back for good.

That was part of the reason I bumped it.

I used the restroom at work yesterday. Didn't have any problems at all.

No real good reason to bump this. I linked to it in another thread, then went back and read through it. Always a good read.

Never , ever use a Walmart bathroom.....

The other day I found myself having to go pretty bad when I was at lowes. Anyways, I go to the bathroom and both stalls are filled. Obvious worst case scenerio. Anyways, I wait and wait, and go outside. A few minutes later, I'm like WTF, and I check back in. Both are filled still, so I check my watch. I go outside and wait again, at least 7 minutes have passed and I check. Still filled. Dudes must be having a fucking Larry Craig session or something.


After a reasonable 7 minute window had passed, I really felt that I was within my rights to comment or pound on the doors. Pretty much the only thing that stopped me was that I found the urge to go dissipating. I'm just wondering what I could/should have done, though, cause I dunno if the dudes in both of the stalls were just camped out like they were playing COD.

Had to go so bad you posted it twice? ;)

I think seven minutes is too short of a window. I'm usually in there for 10-15 and playing with my iPhone or something.

this thread deserves some kind of lifetime achievement golden scribe award

The other day I found myself having to go pretty bad when I was at lowes. Anyways, I go to the bathroom and both stalls are filled. Obvious worst case scenerio. Anyways, I wait and wait, and go outside. A few minutes later, I'm like WTF, and I check back in. Both are filled still, so I check my watch. I go outside and wait again, at least 7 minutes have passed and I check. Still filled. Dudes must be having a fucking Larry Craig session or something.


After a reasonable 7 minute window had passed, I really felt that I was within my rights to comment or pound on the doors. Pretty much the only thing that stopped me was that I found the urge to go dissipating. I'm just wondering what I could/should have done, though, cause I dunno if the dudes in both of the stalls were just camped out like they were playing COD.

You really need a backup plan in place before something like this happens. Isn't there a McDonald's or a gas station down the street or something?

I know this is about an urinal and not on topic but this pretty close to on topic for me.

This 5 year old that I knew from bowling with his parents the year before came up to me when I was using the urinal. There where shields installed on both sides but the kid decided to stand next to the urinal in a crammed space(shoulder touching the urinal) and say do I know you.

Never , ever use a Walmart bathroom.....

Don't ever use a bathroom at Gencon on day 4. The human body does some horrific things after 4 straight days of Taco Bell, Nachos and Jolt.

Had to go so bad you posted it twice? ;)

I think seven minutes is too short of a window. I'm usually in there for 10-15 and playing with my iPhone or something.

In a lowes(home improvement store)? It is one thing if it is the office bathroom where a small subset of people are using it.

They were in there for like 10 minutes or more at least. I just checked my watch after a certain point cause it was getting crazy.

For the love of God, please don't slam the door so hard that the hinge moves and opens one of the stall doors. The last thing I want is to go in my cubicle with the sight of someone wiping their ass burned in my head. thx

I miss the little smurf. Last post in September 2009.

Is it weird to punch one out in the bathroom at work?

Is it weird to punch one out in the bathroom at work?

What kind of question is that? Wait, by punch one out you mean #2 and not... something more right?

Maybe he meant 'rub' one out?

Is it weird to punch one out in the bathroom at work?

Depends - do you work in the dairy section of a grocery store?

Rubbing one out, yes that's wrong! Taking a deuce, no way. That's my amateur opinion.

i'd rub one out to lesley stahl.

Yeah, I meant #3. Sorry but having a big screened smart phone with wifi and google images and a stall...it's on.

I was in a Whataburger in Sausalito, CA, and this guy came in to a stall next to mine and all I heard him saying, in a loud whisper, was "Oh, good God Almighty. Oh good God Almighty." And the funniest thing was that I heard him making deals with God: "Oh, God, if you get this out of me....."

I think the guy was in so much pain that he forgot everything else that was going on and to heck with anyone else that could hear him.

This belongs here...

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3076/2907540391_621a3d21c1_o.png

Also belonging here, an explanation of who the hell those guys are.

A shit band?

That's a crappy reply.

Flush you.

the Bauer shirt made me think of hockey players, the Staal brothers maybe. *rim shot*

Heh.

FM

I'm breaking up.

Do you mean pinching off?

Just drop it. This is starting to stink.

the Bauer shirt made me think of hockey players, the Staal brothers maybe. *rim shot*

Heh.

FM

We have a winner

Twice last week my fellow female coworkers have forgotten to flush the toilet. I'm appalled at the way some women leave the restroom... seriously. Paper towels all over the floor, toilets left unflushed, water all over the sink. It's not that hard to pick up paper towels that accidentally fall on the ground.

Twice last week my fellow female coworkers have forgotten to flush the toilet. I'm appalled at the way some women leave the restroom... seriously. Paper towels all over the floor, toilets left unflushed, water all over the sink. It's not that hard to pick up paper towels that accidentally fall on the ground.
Sounds like some guys got into your bathroom.

Sounds like some guys got into your bathroom.

Very possible I posted this already in this thread...but from living in college dorms, where the bathrooms would only be cleaned daily during the week...by the end of the weekend, the girls' bathroom was a complete abomination compared to the guys'.

Aah, I fondly recall the upstairs bathroom in the office I interned in a few summers ago. The building was ancient, so it was exempt from the ADA requirement of handicap access to the second floor. But this bathroom was added as part of a renovation. Since it was put in place after ADA, the new upstairs bathroom had to be made handicapped-accessible... even though the second floor wasn't accessible.

Bad lighting in the Lady's Room so couldn't take a pic of the splash of water on the sink counter or mirror. And I'll spare the toilet pic.

Looks like a trail. Maybe because of the bad lighting they wanted to make sure they didn't get lost?

I hope someone was in one of the stalls and panicked when they heard your phone snapping pictures.

Hmm, certainly not the work of a man as they are not torn, crumpled and used. They are also organized neatly on the side of the room and not mashed into the floor dead and center.

All in all, that is a mythically clean bathroom. At least compared to my experiences with the men's bathroom.

I hope someone was in one of the stalls and panicked when they heard your phone snapping pictures.


I have it on mute... no one will ever know :devil:

We had a floor pee-er in our office in the urinals. He obviously overestimated the length of his appendage and stood too far away, because every day there were puddles of pee on the floor around the urinals. It was gross, it's not fun standing in someone's pee several times a day.

Thankfully one of the guys quit several months ago and just like magic, the floor pee stopped. Guess I know who it was.

My wife's former office had a "Phantom Pooper" who would semi-regularly drop a deuce on the bathroom floor instead of in the toilet. My wife is in HR and had to do the investigation into this...not one of her more fun investigations.

My wife's former office had a "Phantom Pooper" who would semi-regularly drop a deuce on the bathroom floor instead of in the toilet. My wife is in HR and had to do the investigation into this...not one of her more fun investigations.

omg, wtf is wrong with people?

This thread makes me miss HA.

Just took a crap at home. When I was done, I could literally not see any water in the bowl, that's how much I shit. I don't think I've ever shit that much. And I didn't even feel bad, just needed to shit. It took three flushes to get it all down, not including the cleanup. I really should have weighed myself before and after.

That sounds like you almost needed to do a mid-push flush to prevent the clogging.

Just took a crap at home. When I was done, I could literally not see any water in the bowl, that's how much I shit. I don't think I've ever shit that much. And I didn't even feel bad, just needed to shit. It took three flushes to get it all down, not including the cleanup. I really should have weighed myself before and after.

I can't believe I'm asking this, but...there's no story behind this? Taco Bell? Oat Bran Pretzels? One of those "cleansing" products?

I can't believe I'm asking this, but...there's no story behind this? Taco Bell? Oat Bran Pretzels? One of those "cleansing" products?

lol

Just took a crap at home. When I was done, I could literally not see any water in the bowl, that's how much I shit. I don't think I've ever shit that much. And I didn't even feel bad, just needed to shit. It took three flushes to get it all down, not including the cleanup. I really should have weighed myself before and after.
Look familiar?

http://alexandscottadventuresinveganism.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/brownie-wet-mix.jpg?w=500&h=375

Fuck.

So.. I walk into the bathroom today at work and a guy is walking out of the stall and I walk to the urinal (which is behind a wall divider to the sinks). I'm taking a piss, and I hear odd sounds coming from the sink. I thought he was brushing his teeth or something. When I'm done, I zip up and go to the sink to wash up. The guy has soap up to his elbows, is hunched down in the sink with his arms laying in the sink lathering up like he is going into surgery like Hawkeye. I turn the water on and I'm rinsing up and he pauses, looks at me and gives me a dirty look and sighs. Not thinking much of it, I turn the water off, grab a paper towel, dry up and start to walk out the door when the guy mouths off about me needing to wash up.

Dude.. seriously?

I hope he was a germophobe because if not, I seriously do not want to know why the hell he needed to scrub up to the elbows after coming out of the stall.

He probably thought you were also fisting Goatse.

So.. I walk into the bathroom today at work and a guy is walking out of the stall and I walk to the urinal (which is behind a wall divider to the sinks). I'm taking a piss, and I hear odd sounds coming from the sink. I thought he was brushing his teeth or something. When I'm done, I zip up and go to the sink to wash up. The guy has soap up to his elbows, is hunched down in the sink with his arms laying in the sink lathering up like he is going into surgery like Hawkeye. I turn the water on and I'm rinsing up and he pauses, looks at me and gives me a dirty look and sighs. Not thinking much of it, I turn the water off, grab a paper towel, dry up and start to walk out the door when the guy mouths off about me needing to wash up.

Dude.. seriously?

I hope he was a germophobe because if not, I seriously do not want to know why the hell he needed to scrub up to the elbows after coming out of the stall.

I have a "surgeon" in my building as well. He must spend 5 minutes washing his hands, and arms, and then fiddling in front of the mirror before leaving the washroom. Maybe he's just staring in the mirror at those who are going to the washroom.

Check out this thesis paper on "The Urinal Problem"...


Abstract. A man walks into a men's room and observes n empty uri-
nals. Which urinal should he pick so as to maximize his chances of main-
taining privacy, i.e., minimize the chance that someone will occupy a
urinal beside him? In this paper, we attempt to answer this question
under a variety of models for standard men's room behavior. Our results
suggest that for the most part one should probably choose the urinal fur-
thest from the door (with some interesting exceptions). We also suggest
a number of variations on the problem that lead to many open problems

http://people.scs.carleton.ca/~kranakis/Papers/urinal.pdf

Why do hot farts smell more?

Why do hot farts smell more?

Fart gas is one of two things--swallowed air or gas produced by gut bacteria. Swallowed air has no real smell. Gut bacteria farts stink. Cooler farts are more likely to be swallowed air. Hot farts are more likely to have been produced by gut bacteria.

So, I head into the restroom to take a leak today. Both of the urinals were occupied, so I go into the stall right next to them.

As I am standing there doing my business, the guy at the urinal next to my stall finishes and someone else steps up to the plate. As this dude is stepping up, he steps on my foot.

Dude! I'm in the stall, my foot is about 8 inches or so inside the stall and this guy steps on my foot. How is that shit possible?

http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=3534199&page=1#.TwNQ2_lYV8E

I'm not clicking the link but that's some Larry Craig shit right there I assume.

Winner!

SI

I need a wall socket at the stall at work for as much as I'm using it today. My stomach is not enjoying lunch.