View Full Version : Jesus Christ is the 13th Greatest American of All Time
JPhillips
02-20-2003, 11:39 PM
That's right. Don't ever underestimate the stupidity of the general public. In a poll done by the Luntz Group, run by prominent Republican pollster Frank Luntz, Jesus finished 13th. Ironically he tied with Bill Clinton!
Does anyone here believe Jesus was an American?
HornedFrog Purple
02-20-2003, 11:52 PM
Who won?
TredWel
02-20-2003, 11:56 PM
I'm going to need a link for this one.
Tarkus
02-20-2003, 11:59 PM
The Beatles were probably #1. ;)
Tarkus
JPhillips
02-21-2003, 12:01 AM
The top 10 vote-getters were Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, John F. Kennedy, Theodore Roosevelt, Martin Luther King, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Ronald Reagan and Jimmy Carter.
From the Washington Post. I got the original info from Harper's Index for March 2003.
JPhillips
02-21-2003, 12:05 AM
My mistake, its the Washinton Times. (The one owned by the Moonies!!!) The survey is only 900 people and less than 1% picked Jesus, but still.
http://www.washtimes.com/national/20030106-55060102.htm
Kodos
02-21-2003, 12:43 AM
Just where the hell is Bryan Adams? Did they leave him off completely?!? :mad:
GoldenEagle
02-21-2003, 12:44 AM
What was the critiera and who came up with the nomanies?
HornedFrog Purple
02-21-2003, 12:46 AM
It is kind of weird that Carter and Reagan are in the top 10.
Draft Dodger
02-21-2003, 01:03 AM
interesting,
but a nice example of the headline being funnier than it really is.
"Nearly 900 adult Americans" were polled.
"Jesus Christ and Bill Clinton tied for 13th, with 1 percent each of the vote".
so, 8, maybe 9 people chose the funny response - not hard to picture 9 people with a sense of humor. There's almost that many people at the FOFC who have one...
Dutch
02-21-2003, 03:04 AM
but a nice example of the headline being funnier than it really is.
Exactly!
Originally posted by JPhillips
That's right. Don't ever underestimate the stupidity of the general public. In a poll done by the Luntz Group, run by prominent Republican pollster Frank Luntz, Jesus finished 13th. Ironically he tied with Bill Clinton!
So Americans are stupid ? No, I can't believe that :D :cool:
BucDawg40
02-21-2003, 06:19 AM
Of course Jesus was an American! Heck, his blue eyes and light brown hair prove it.
Ksyrup
02-21-2003, 07:01 AM
We take everything that's good in this world and make it ours at some point, so why not?
Fritz
02-21-2003, 07:20 AM
Originally posted by Alf
So Americans are stupid ? No, I can't believe that
from the people that brought you escargo
Fritz
02-21-2003, 07:47 AM
I dont care what you got, eating snails aint too bright
Fritz : What's even worse is that I like that !
FYI : I just had an hamberger for lunch today (my first one in 5 years...)
Ben E Lou
02-21-2003, 07:58 AM
Down in South Georgia, some restaurants are now selling "freedom fries" rather than "french fries." I love it!
Yeah, I also had french fries with my burger !
Fritz
02-21-2003, 08:04 AM
Originally posted by Alf
Fritz : What's even worse is that I like that !
FYI : I just had an hamberger for lunch today (my first one in 5 years...)
Hamburger (unless you ate a German)
WSUCougar
02-21-2003, 08:13 AM
Originally posted by Alf
So Americans are stupid ? No, I can't believe that :D :cool:
That's okay, Alf, we think Judas was French, too. ;)
Hamburger (unless you ate a German)
Once again, Fritz is on a roll. This is hilarious on multiple levels.
Craptacular
02-21-2003, 08:42 AM
I don't know who I'd vote for, but it sure as hell wouldn't be a President.
Anrhydeddu
02-21-2003, 09:17 AM
Originally posted by JPhillips
Does anyone here believe Jesus was an American?
Mormons. :rolleyes:
LOL, and Judas is my cousin..
JOKE quote inserted because of touchy subject right now
And you are right Fritz I didn't eat an Hamberger for lucnh, but an hamburger...
heybrad
02-21-2003, 10:46 AM
Originally posted by Anrhydeddu
Mormons. :rolleyes:
Wrong.
GoldenEagle
02-21-2003, 10:49 AM
Originally posted by heybrad
Wrong.
Are you saying that the answer is politcally incorrect or that he is wrong in saying that mormons claim Jesus is an American? I don't much the mormon religon, but they do seem to force things onto you about their beliefs. I am not trying to step on any toes or anything but they do.
heybrad
02-21-2003, 10:51 AM
Originally posted by GoldenEagle
Are you saying that the answer is politcally incorrect or that he is wrong in saying that mormons claim Jesus is an American? I don't much the mormon religon, but they do seem to force things onto you about their beliefs. I am not trying to step on any toes or anything but they do.
Mormons believe Jesus came to America.
Fritz
02-21-2003, 10:52 AM
Originally posted by heybrad
Mormons believe Jesus came to America.
did he have a green card or was he an illegal alien?
heybrad
02-21-2003, 10:53 AM
Originally posted by Fritz
did he have a green card or was he an illegal alien?
Does it matter? If he came to California he still got free health care.
GoldenEagle
02-21-2003, 10:55 AM
Originally posted by heybrad
Mormons believe Jesus came to America.
That is interesting. Where exactly do they think he went to in America?
heybrad
02-21-2003, 10:59 AM
Originally posted by GoldenEagle
That is interesting. Where exactly do they think he went to in America?
Feel free to call the nearest Temple. They'd be happy to have a couple of guys bike on over and tell you. If you're lucky you can get sister missionairies
Fritz
02-21-2003, 11:03 AM
Originally posted by GoldenEagle
That is interesting. Where exactly do they think he went to in America?
Wafflehouse
Anrhydeddu
02-21-2003, 11:50 AM
Originally posted by heybrad
Feel free to call the nearest Temple. They'd be happy to have a couple of guys bike on over and tell you. If you're lucky you can get sister missionairies
You do that and you'll get spammed for the rest of your life. Far as I've heard, he gathered the lost tribe, brought them over to America and that's how we got the native indians.
GoldenEagle
02-21-2003, 12:02 PM
Originally posted by Fritz
Wafflehouse
If he went to wafflehouse, I can understand why he returned to the Middle East.
Why did Native Americans have a polythestic belief then? And I looked in the phone book, and there are no mormon churches nearby.
Qwikshot
02-21-2003, 12:05 PM
Jesus could walk on water, I suppose during that gap between his birth and when he appears in the new testament, he could've walked over to the U.S. but this was all prior to the United States, so I guess it's a moot point.
GoldenEagle
02-21-2003, 12:14 PM
Originally posted by Qwikshot
Jesus could walk on water, I suppose during that gap between his birth and when he appears in the new testament, he could've walked over to the U.S. but this was all prior to the United States, so I guess it's a moot point.
That is a long walk.
oykib
02-21-2003, 12:16 PM
Originally posted by ALF escargot;)
Originally posted by Fritz
I dont care what you got, eating snails aint too bright
Classic
Everyone knows the greatest American was Leonardo da Vinci.
:D
scooper
02-21-2003, 12:40 PM
Originally posted by Bee
Everyone knows the greatest American was Leonardo da Vinci.
:D
The Ninja Turtle? Hmmmm. I may agree.
Qwikshot
02-21-2003, 01:50 PM
Originally posted by GoldenEagle
That is a long walk.
If anyone could do it, I'm guessing Christ could...I'd put money down on Christ on everything...
Fritz
02-21-2003, 01:53 PM
I happen to know that Jesus could never get the hang of Double Dutch.
Qwikshot
02-21-2003, 01:54 PM
Originally posted by Fritz
I happen to know that Jesus could never get the hang of Double Dutch.
You tellin' me Christ could walk on water, but can't jump rope?
Fritz
02-21-2003, 02:03 PM
Originally posted by Qwikshot
You tellin' me Christ could walk on water, but can't jump rope?
Sure he could jump rope. I am just saying he could not double dutch.
heybrad
02-21-2003, 02:10 PM
Originally posted by Fritz
Sure he could jump rope. I am just saying he could not double dutch.
Wrong.
I thought he had problems hitting the curve?
GoldenEagle
02-21-2003, 02:15 PM
Do you know how difficult the Double Dutch is? But I think Jesus could do it. I heard he was quite an athlete.
JonInMiddleGA
02-21-2003, 02:33 PM
Originally posted by GoldenEagle
That is interesting. Where exactly do they think he went to in America?
I can't seem to find the specific details right now beyond ... "God commanded Lehi to lead a small group of people to the American continent. There they became a great civilization."
http://www.mormon.org/learn/0,8672,1090-1,00.htmll
However, if you're really curious, I'd suspect there's more details in the Book of Mormon. It just so happens they'll be happy to drop by your house with a copy if you'll just fill out this form
http://www.mormon.org/freeBookofMormon/1,10120,2071-1,00.html
andy m
02-21-2003, 02:51 PM
i want to know what his middle initial 'H' stood for.
heybrad
02-21-2003, 02:55 PM
Originally posted by andy m
i want to know what his middle initial 'H' stood for.
Hallmark... because God cared enough to send the very best.
Fritz
02-21-2003, 03:03 PM
Originally posted by heybrad
Wrong.
Excuse me?
GoldenEagle
02-21-2003, 03:05 PM
heybrad is saying that Jesus could infact do the double dutch.
Fritz
02-21-2003, 03:08 PM
It is a well known fact that he can not.
Two things Jesus can not do:
Tie his shoelaces
Double Dutch
I also hear that the Karate Kid can kick his ass, but this is speculation.
heybrad
02-21-2003, 03:22 PM
Originally posted by Fritz
Excuse me?
Did I stutter?
heybrad
02-21-2003, 03:24 PM
Originally posted by Fritz
Tie his shoelaces
While this one is technically right the point is moot. Jesus was smart enough to buy Velcro shoes.
cincyreds
02-21-2003, 04:44 PM
Just goes to show just how lost some people are.
It is really sad!
heybrad
02-21-2003, 04:53 PM
Originally posted by cincyreds
Just goes to show just how lost some people are.
It is really sad!
People cant make a joke?
AgPete
02-21-2003, 05:06 PM
Originally posted by BucDawg40
Of course Jesus was an American! Heck, his blue eyes and light brown hair prove it.
LOL Just think, if Jesus came back today he'd probably be heavily scrutinized by the FBI. :eek: The son of God's Middle Eastern features would make everyone at an airport nervous.
sabotai
02-21-2003, 05:36 PM
Of course Jesus came to america. Just oen reason and two words why. Las Vegas. Sin City baby. Jesus loves to play blackjack.
Seriously, though. Jesus gets voted for EVERY topic. I saw him voted #1 for best musician for the 20th century once. I doubt it's a joke. It's a movement that's been around since the first open-ended internet polls.
GoldenEagle
02-21-2003, 05:36 PM
Originally posted by heybrad
People cant make a joke?
I think what he is referring to is the fact that some people think Jesus Christ is an American.
Not the jokes, but this is all speculation on my part.
heybrad
02-21-2003, 05:39 PM
I thought he was referring to my Velcro shoe post. I can confirm that. My wife worked at Payless Shoes.
GoldenEagle
02-21-2003, 05:41 PM
Well he could have been. And can your wife hook me up?
Also I noticed there has not been one hey brad post on here.
I think we all should be proud.
andy m
02-21-2003, 05:49 PM
Originally posted by cincyreds
Just goes to show just how lost some people are.
It is really sad!
yes, your sig mentions the dallas cowboys. probably the most lost group of people on planet earth. they can't even read a map.
GoldenEagle
02-21-2003, 06:04 PM
And who said the Cowboys were America's team?
Originally posted by GoldenEagle
And who said the Cowboys were America's team?
Jesus when he moved to Dallas.
Gwalyn
02-21-2003, 07:55 PM
Maybe the voters were voting for this guy.
Christ, Jesus
Los Angeles, CA 90071
(323) 467-2571
or this guy,
Christ, Jesus
Washington, DC 20003
(202) 543-9498
or maybe this guy,
Christ, Jesus
1328 Euclid St
Santa Monica, CA 90404
(310) 458-9440
maybe even this guy,
Christ, Jesus
Lost River, WV 26810
(304) 897-7727
but probably not this guy since his middle initial is "A",
Christ, Jesus A
19 Harborview Court
Blue Hill, ME 04614
(207) 374-2175
That reminds me, a coworker of mine told me the other day he wouldn't vote for someone if they did not share the same religious background as him. I about shit myself when I heard that.
GoldenEagle
02-21-2003, 09:09 PM
Wow that is alot of information you found out there.
I think Fritz should prank call a couple of them, and then upload the MP3.
Qwikshot
02-21-2003, 10:29 PM
What no, Jesus H. Christ?!?!?
mckerney
02-21-2003, 10:38 PM
Originally posted by heybrad
Does it matter? If he came to California he still got free health care.
There was a local news report on out here the other day about budget cuts for the state of minnesota, and some people were outraged that illegal immigrants would no longer have health care.
Of course, there were also people here who cried 'racist' at a proposal for drivers licenses for people on visas to expire when their visas did, and that were offended at a proposal for a concelled carry law that had a requirement to be a legal us citizen.
Bastards at the Department of Children, Family, and Happy Thoughts
Fritz
02-22-2003, 12:20 AM
Originally posted by heybrad
this one is technically right
thank you.
In related news, I caught some of his act on comedy central. Jesus can't tell a titty joke.
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