Note the changes in the 3rd and 4th!

Draft Order:
1st:
LR, FG, AQ, PT, LA, MW, SA, CH, KX, BH

2nd:
LR, FG, AQ, PT, LA, MW, SA, CH, KX, BH

3rd:
LR, FG, AQ, PT, LA, MW, SA, CH, KX, PT

4th:
LR, FG, AQ, PT, LA, MW, MW, CH, KX, BH

As soon as I post the draft board, you are free to begin gentlemen. I'm not going to be monitoring for a week, so you're going to have to behave yourselves and keep a head's up!

Quarterbacks: D - "There won't be any QBs going in the top 5 this year. In fact, there might not be any going in the first round. There just isn't a star in this group."
A. 20, "He's young and raw, but without the gun needed to star. He is, however, accurate and deserves a shot in the league. Second rounder, likely, for a team that has need."
B. 21, "Career backup at Wisconsin, bound to be a career backup in the ZFL."
C. 23, "The run of mediocre athletes without any leadership potential or outstanding talent continues."
D. 24, "See, and this guy isn't even young enough to have hopes for."
E. 19, "What good does being young get you if you suck? Go back to school, kid."
F. 23, "Next category, please."


Halfbacks: B "Three solid prospects, though I don't think any of them should go at the top of the first. Second rounders, perhaps."
G. 24, "Split time with an NFLer in college, but showed some great stuff in NFL Europe. He's not top 5, but solid enough to be in the first round."
H. 22, "A little younger than (G.), but he looks nearly as good. Second round would be a bargain."
I. 22, "Put up good numbers in college, but he runs a little tall. Has slipped down to 3rd rounder, I fear."

Fullbacks: F "Not much help here. Maybe a late rounder."
J. 24, "He's solid, but a bit too slow to play professional ball. Only at the very end of the draft."
K. 23, "I just can't recommend him. His mechanics are bad."

Wide Receivers: A "The deepest crop the ZFL has seen yet. At least 5 will be drafted."
L. 22, "He has all the tools to go #1 overall. He's tall, fast, and strong. His numbers weren't that impressive at Mizzou, but his physical talent is awesome. Top 5 prospect."
M. 22, "An impact player at Fresno State who always seemed to make the first down or the sideline catch. Worthy of being considered in the first round."
N. 22, "Reliable hands, good moves. He won't break many big ones, but he's a solid player. Consider him in the second."
O. 21, "A fair mid-rounder who can play second fiddle. I like his strength, but he lacks a bit in speed. He won't star, but he can compliment."
P. 22, "A short player who nonetheless established his small school's receiving record for being in the right place at the right time. A fourth rounder that might develop."
Q. 23, "A streaky player who nonetheless lacks the discipline to be counted on."
R. 23, "Would probably make a better ZFL kicker than receiver."

Offensive Tackles: A+ "Four OTs who might all go first round? At least two could go top 5. Probably the best OT class we will ever see."
S. 21, "Undoubtedly the best offensive player in the draft. The NFL just hasn't caught on to European stars the way the NBA has. 6'4 320, an all-star in his two years in NFLE. He's young, too. Worthy of #1 overall."
T. 23, "If he was as young as (S.), we'd be talking about this young man #1 overall as well. An underrated player from Maryland whose mechanics were flawless."
U. 23, "Though not on the same level as (S.) and (T.), he's still a first-rounder. A little short at 6'2, but his strength workouts had our scouts' eyes poppin'. This guy could arm-wrestle a bear to a draw."
V. 22, "He will likely slip into the second round, but only because the talent above him is so impressive. He's average size and skill, but dogged determination made him the anchor of his Northern Illnois college squad."
W. 20, "This fellow just can't compare with the others. In fact, I'm not even sure he'll be drafted. His size is good, but his mechanics stink."

Offensive Guards: C "Mid-rounders at best in this bunch."
X. 24, "A pudgy roadblock without much skill, who nevertheless deserves a look in the third. Second, if you're desperate."
Y. 22, "Another beefeater whose physical presence alone merits some attention. He's young, so look for a project in the third or fourth."
Z. 20, "He's young, so consider him in the fourth. He hasn't the mechanics yet, but size and strength are there."

Defensive Tackles: F "A depth of dismal prospects. A waste of available bodies."
AA. 23, "The only DT I expect will be drafted. He's a bit undersized, but has a good enough motor to be considered in late rounds."
BB. 22, "He played second fiddle on a defensive line that gave up more than 2000 yards. That's just not promising."
CC. 20, "A JuCo man who ought to go back to school."
DD. 23, "Even 'Team Discovery Channel' could plow over this guy."
EE. 21, "Not even worth a gamble."

Defensive Ends: B+ "One top prospect and a few midrounders."
FF. 21, "He's young, fast, and uncannily strong. Played OLB in college, where he was a bit too big. He put on some more solid weight in the offseason, looking to move into the #1 overall ZFL draft spot. If Little Rock keeps the top slot, he will likely have succeeded."
GG. 22, "Likely to go in the second, this guy has moves and speed. He's a little slim, but he's young enough to bulk up."
HH. 23, "In the CFL he played, but didn't play particularly well. A late-round bench guy."
II. 23, "Another OLB turned DE. If he can handle playing with his hand down, he's worth a late-round project gamble."

Middlebackers: C- "Wish there was more depth here."
JJ. 19, "A JuCo man with speed to burn. He's raw - real raw - but has great physical ability. If someone is ready to gamble, he could go first round. Definitely worth a shot in the second."
KK. 20, "Another youngster, but this North Dakota native has more heart than pure ability. Still, I can't see him going before the fourth. If then."

Outsidebackers: D "No depth and no stars."
LL. 21, "Georgia Tech was already stacked at OLB, so we didn't get to see this guy much. But I think there's a good reason he rode the pine. He'd probably do the same in the ZFL. Late rounds only."
MM. 19, "The JuCo infusion continues with a DE backing up to OLB. He's not quite strong enough to play on the line. Unfortunately, I don't think he's fast enough to be effective in space. But because of his age, I'd consider him a late-round project."
NN. 22, "Next category, please."

Safety: B- "No stars, but three mid-rounders to consider."
OO. 22, "At 6'2 215, he's almost a LB. But he's got the speed to play back. If his instincts and cover were better, he'd be top 5, but I suspect he might fall into the top of the second round."
PP. 24, "Worth looking at in the mid-rounds, this UW-Stout star was a big fish in a little pond. In the ZFL, well, he should at least be a contributor."
QQ. 23, "Another decent mid-round prospect who could compliment. He's smart, but lacks the speed to dominate a secondary."

Cornerback: B "A top 5 prospect pushes this grade up, but missing quality in the deeper spots."
RR. 21, "The best defensive player if not best player in the draft. Could the defensive rookie of the year be a CB two years straight? Didn't shuttle drill as well as the NFL wanted to see, but his closing speed will be a tremendous asset in the ZFL. Top 5."
SS. 20, "Young, talented, and entirely too cocky for his own good. If he had stayed in school, he might have gone NFL. As it is, he's a second or third rounder in the ZFL."
TT. 24, "Despite being physical, he's just a bit slow. I don't know if he'll even be drafted."
UU. 20, "Young, but undisciplined. Plays with much instinct and little brain."
VV. 22, "Don't bother."

Kicker: C- "Mid to low rounders, and only a few."
XX. 19, "A fantastic, young, Croatian athlete. He wasn't tall enough to play in the NBA, but he's also a bit young and underdeveloped to play in the ZFL. He has a great upside, but there's no telling how long it will take him to reach it."
YY. 20, "A young former track star who makes up for a lack of strength with an ability to take a brutal beating. Love his attitude, but I'm not impressed with his skilz."
ZZ. 23, "A Fat man with a fat chance of being successful in the ZFL."

Mel Kiper's Draft Predictions
Little Rock: The Willies need defense, and though CB RR. is probably the best available, they have a bigger need and a worthy #1 candidate in DE FF.

Fargo: The Fish really need a CB, and they couldn't be happier to see CB RR. fall here.

Albuquerque: The Isotopes' needs aren't so apparent. They just need to get some stars. They have to think that QB Sizzlack would love throwing to WR L.

Portland: I know they want a QB, but not this high. Best talent available might serve as a replacement for aging OT Poseidon. I'm guessing OT S.

Los Angeles If WR L. is gone, then L.A. will go with OT T.

Milwaukee: The offense would get a boost by filling in the weak link with OT U.

San Antonio: Y'know, Chicago really needs an OT. They pick next. And there's only one left on the board. Hmmm...might sachmo pull a fast one over on the despised Eagles? OT Lard Ass is getting old, so look for the sneaky pick of OT V.

Chicago: If all 4 OTs are gone, illinifan is going to be seriously ticked off. Unless there's still an OT here, Chicago will want to help their rookie QB by selecting WR M.

Knoxville: The Jack Backs are getting old, and Knoxville want to retain a high octane offense. I suspect they're hoping HB G. will fall this far.

Birmingham: The Olympians have a FB on the bench, so they don't have to freak about the loss of Nymph. Instead, they think about aging HB Artemis and pick up HB H.

Offers anyone?

:rolleyes:

I'm sorry to say, Swaggs, that selling the first pick might be a bit tough this year with no big QB to shop. The consensus top picks are a CB, a DE, a WR, and 3 OTs. I don't know anybody who needs a DE worse than you do, so unless somebody really needs a CB, you might not get your money's worth. Now, trading that first pick in the second round, however, might net you some goodies.

I'm outta town, gentlemen. I'm looking forward to reading how much progress you'll have made in my absence. JeeberD, Shorty, and I are anxious to get the next season rolling. See you again around July 21! - revrew

DRAFT BOARD

Quarterbacks:
A. POR 2 - QB Paddy O'Leary, 20, "He's young and raw, but without the gun needed to star. He is, however, accurate and deserves a shot in the league. Second rounder, likely, for a team that has need."
B. CHI 3 (originally BIRM) - Carlos Xio, 21, "Career backup at Wisconsin, bound to be a career backup in the ZFL."
C. LA 4 - Richard Dean Anderson, 23, "The run of mediocre athletes without any leadership potential or outstanding talent continues."
D. 24, "See, and this guy isn't even young enough to have hopes for."
E. 19, "What good does being young get you if you suck? Go back to school, kid."
F. 23, "Next category, please."


Halfbacks:
G. KX 1(9) - Leon Jackson, 24, "Split time with an NFLer in college, but showed some great stuff in NFL Europe. He's not top 5, but solid enough to be in the first round."
H. BIRM 1(10) - H. Roman, 22, "A little younger than (G.), but he looks nearly as good. Second round would be a bargain."
I. SA 4(from POR)- Mud, 22, "Put up good numbers in college, but he runs a little tall. Has slipped down to 3rd rounder, I fear."


Fullbacks:
J. POR 3 (originally CHI) - Cthulu Junior, 24, "He's solid, but a bit too slow to play professional ball. Only at the very end of the draft."
K. 23, "I just can't recommend him. His mechanics are bad."


Wide Receivers:
L. AQ 1(3) - Quagmire, 22, "He has all the tools to go #1 overall. He's tall, fast, and strong. His numbers weren't that impressive at Mizzou, but his physical talent is awesome. Top 5 prospect."
M. LR 2 - Bruce Spinner, 22, "An impact player at Fresno State who always seemed to make the first down or the sideline catch. Worthy of being considered in the first round."
N. LA 2 - Arnold Schwartzenegger, 22, "Reliable hands, good moves. He won't break many big ones, but he's a solid player. Consider him in the second."
O. MIL 2 - Nothing but Touchdowns, 21, "A fair mid-rounder who can play second fiddle. I like his strength, but he lacks a bit in speed. He won't star, but he can compliment."
P. KX 3 - Luke Jackson, 22, "A short player who nonetheless established his small school's receiving record for being in the right place at the right time. A fourth rounder that might develop."
Q. 23, "A streaky player who nonetheless lacks the discipline to be counted on."
R. 23, "Would probably make a better ZFL kicker than receiver."


Offensive Tackles:
S. POR 1(4) - Leonardo Ruiz Al Elvaro, 21, "Undoubtedly the best offensive player in the draft. The NFL just hasn't caught on to European stars the way the NBA has. 6'4 320, an all-star in his two years in NFLE. He's young, too. Worthy of #1 overall."
T. LA 1(5) - Matthew McConaughey, 23, "If he was as young as (S.), we'd be talking about this young man #1 overall as well. An underrated player from Maryland whose mechanics were flawless."
U. MIL 1(6) - No Sacks Allowed, 23, "Though not on the same level as (S.) and (T.), he's still a first-rounder. A little short at 6'2, but his strength workouts had our scouts' eyes poppin'. This guy could arm-wrestle a bear to a draw."
V. CHI 1(8) - John Tate, 22, "He will likely slip into the second round, but only because the talent above him is so impressive. He's average size and skill, but dogged determination made him the anchor of his Northern Illnois college squad."
W. 20, "This fellow just can't compare with the others. In fact, I'm not even sure he'll be drafted. His size is good, but his mechanics stink."


Offensive Guards:
X. BIRM 2 - Norman, 24, "A pudgy roadblock without much skill, who nevertheless deserves a look in the third. Second, if you're desperate."
Y. LR 3 - Rudolphy Rudy, 22, "Another beefeater whose physical presence alone merits some attention. He's young, so look for a project in the third or fourth."
Z. LA 3 - Jack Nicholson, 20, "He's young, so consider him in the fourth. He hasn't the mechanics yet, but size and strength are there."

Defensive Tackles:
AA. MIL 3 (from Fargo) - Where do you think you're going?, 23, "The only DT I expect will be drafted. He's a bit undersized, but has a good enough motor to be considered in late rounds."
BB. 22, "He played second fiddle on a defensive line that gave up more than 2000 yards. That's just not promising."
CC. 20, "A JuCo man who ought to go back to school."
DD. 23, "Even 'Team Discovery Channel' could plow over this guy."
EE. 21, "Not even worth a gamble."


Defensive Ends:
FF. LR 1(1) - L.L. JeeberD, 21, "He's young, fast, and uncannily strong. Played OLB in college, where he was a bit too big. He put on some more solid weight in the offseason, looking to move into the #1 overall ZFL draft spot. If Little Rock keeps the top slot, he will likely have succeeded."
GG. SA 1(7) - Ray O. Light, 22, "Likely to go in the second, this guy has moves and speed. He's a little slim, but he's young enough to bulk up."
HH. AQ 3 - Hugh Jass, 23, "In the CFL he played, but didn't play particularly well. A late-round bench guy."
II. FAR 4 - Number II, 23, "Another OLB turned DE. If he can handle playing with his hand down, he's worth a late-round project gamble."


Middlebackers:
JJ. AQ 2 - Ranier Wolfcastle, 19, "A JuCo man with speed to burn. He's raw - real raw - but has great physical ability. If someone is ready to gamble, he could go first round. Definitely worth a shot in the second."
KK. LR 4 - Kublai Khan, 20, "Another youngster, but this North Dakota native has more heart than pure ability. Still, I can't see him going before the fourth. If then."

Outsidebackers:
LL. CHI 3 (originally POR) - Leroy Luveksen, 21, "Georgia Tech was already stacked at OLB, so we didn't get to see this guy much. But I think there's a good reason he rode the pine. He'd probably do the same in the ZFL. Late rounds only."
MM. FAR 3 (originally MIL) - Hurt your Mommy, 19, "The JuCo infusion continues with a DE backing up to OLB. He's not quite strong enough to play on the line. Unfortunately, I don't think he's fast enough to be effective in space. But because of his age, I'd consider him a late-round project."
NN. 22, "Next category, please."


Safety:
OO. SA 2(from FAR) Godzilla Blitz, 22, "At 6'2 215, he's almost a LB. But he's got the speed to play back. If his instincts and cover were better, he'd be top 5, but I suspect he might fall into the top of the second round."
PP. FAR 2(from SA) - Don't Throw Here, 24, "Worth looking at in the mid-rounds, this UW-Stout star was a big fish in a little pond. In the ZFL, well, he should at least be a contributor."
QQ. KX 2 - "Ain't Got No" Satisfaction Jackson, 23, "Another decent mid-round prospect who could compliment. He's smart, but lacks the speed to dominate a secondary."


Cornerback:
RR. FAR 1(2), F- Swaggs, 21, "The best defensive player if not best player in the draft. Could the defensive rookie of the year be a CB two years straight? Didn't shuttle drill as well as the NFL wanted to see, but his closing speed will be a tremendous asset in the ZFL. Top 5."
SS. CHI 2 Fujiyama Brown (traded to POR), 20, "Young, talented, and entirely too cocky for his own good. If he had stayed in school, he might have gone NFL. As it is, he's a second or third rounder in the ZFL."
TT. 24, "Despite being physical, he's just a bit slow. I don't know if he'll even be drafted."
UU. 20, "Young, but undisciplined. Plays with much instinct and little brain."
VV. 22, "Don't bother."


Kicker:
XX. FAR (originally SA) - Xsquared, 19, "A fantastic, young, Croatian athlete. He wasn't tall enough to play in the NBA, but he's also a bit young and underdeveloped to play in the ZFL. He has a great upside, but there's no telling how long it will take him to reach it."
YY. AQ 4 - Capital City Goofball, 20, "A young former track star who makes up for a lack of strength with an ability to take a brutal beating. Love his attitude, but I'm not impressed with his skilz."
ZZ. 23, "A Fat man with a fat chance of being successful in the ZFL."


NEXT PICK: 46 - Fargo

REMAINING PICKS

4th:
FG, FG, CH, KX, BH

If anyone has their sights set on the #4 overall pick, I'm looking to trade down.

Who has the first pick?

Swaggs unless he deals it away.

Let's go Swaggs.


70%

With the first selection in the ZFL Draft, the Little Rock Slick Willies pick DE (FF.) L.L. (Looks Like) JeeberD.

Dola.

Fargo is on the clock.

Jeeber is so popular. :)

Originally posted by Swaggs
With the first selection in the ZFL Draft, the Little Rock Slick Willies pick DE (FF.) L.L. (Looks Like) JeeberD.

Damn, that is one sexy defensive end... ;)

With the second pick, Fargo Selects CB RR. He will now be known as F-Swaggs. His dream was to be the first overall pick and now he is pissed. He vows to destroy Swaggs and thus changed his name to F-Swaggs with his massive $300 signing bonus!

Originally posted by The Afoci
With the second pick, Fargo Selects CB RR. He will now be known as F-Swaggs. His dream was to be the first overall pick and now he is pissed. He vows to destroy Swaggs and thus changed his name to F-Swaggs with his massive $300 signing bonus!

Whatever happend to the loveable loser?

(looking at watch in anticipation of Marmel post)

With the 3rd pick, Albuquerque selects:

WR L - Quagmire

Damn you.

Coffee is on the clock

Good lord, already? Hookay.

With the 4th pick in the first round, the Portland Sea Biscuits select Offensive Tackle <b>Leonardo Ruiz Al Elvaro</b> (S)

Let it be known that either he or OT Poseidon (B) (32 years) is available for trade. Obviously The Spaniard is going to cost more.

LA Stars draft:

OT T, now known as Matthew McConaughey

Milwaukee is on the clock:)

With the 6th pick in the 1st round Milwaukee selects, OT - U now known as, "No Sacks Allowed."

Witht the 7th pick of the 1st round, San Antonio takes Defensive End GG Ray O. Light.

Chicago, you're up.

With the 8th overall pick of the draft Chicago select out of Northern Illinois OT V John Tate.

Knoxville is on the clock.

Digamma I believe you are on the clock.

You also have a PM.

buimp

bump

Sorry, I was out for most of the weekend. I'll take HB G. Leon Jackson.

with the final pick in the 1st round, Birmingham selects: HB H. Roman.

Swaggs, it's your pick

Little Rock selects WR (M.) Bruce Spinner.

Fargo is on the clock...

If every thing is fine with sachmo71, Fargo elects to trade the 2nd pick in the second round for the 7th pick in the second round and the 7th pick in the third round.

If so, sachmo71, your on the clock.

Yes, that is good with me.

With the second pick in the second round----

San Antonio takes Safety OO, forever more to be known as Godzilla Blitz, for the greatest dynasty writer of all time.

Nev, it's your go.


BTW--- I will trade for picks for this year. Guys who would be worth the time for another team:

26 year old DE (filler player, but not horrible.)
27 year old S


and I'm willing to trade next year's picks for a decent DT.

Albuquerque selects --

MLB JJ - Ranier Wolfcastle

Portland is on the clock.

With the 4th pick of the 2nd round, Portland selects, from the University of Belfast, QB <b>Paddy O'Leary</b> (A)

And Sachmo, PM me with the ratings of the HB, please.

The Portland Sea Biscuits would like to announce a trade with San Antonio.

Portland gets: HB Ron Dayne

San Antonio gets: Portland's 4th round pick (4th in round)

And we've got a Wide Receiver, an Offensive Tackle, and a Safety up for barter.

You wanna send me the ratings for those guys? Could use a player at each of those.

How about you clear your inbox first. :)

LOL. I deleted a few. So try again. ;)

Hey Coffee, send me the ratings of the 3 also.

FYI, http://www.officepimps.com/zfl/ has been updated with the end of season stats.

Since only Alburqurque, San Antonio, and Chicago were good little monkeys and put their players into the system, the all-pros and leaders aren't in yet. (hint hint) :)

You could just post the ratings?

If not, feel free to PM me with 'em as well.

Players on Birmingham trading block:
1) B+ rated 35 year old OLB
2) A rated 35 year old OG
3) A rated 35 year old RB
4) B+ rated 34 year old WR

I need:
Draft picks
CB
OLB
WR
FB

I believe it's Marmel's pick now right?

Ah hell.

The Trading Block

OT - Poseidon (32) (B)
OT - Gustov Gustafson (30) (C+)
WR - Werner Voss (26) (C)
S - Billy Jim Bob Lee Whittaker (32) (B)
K - Vladimir Von Vladimir (26) (C)

Will trade for next year's picks (so keep an eye on these guys, expansion teams) as well.

Primary needs...FB, DE, OLB

Yes, I believe the next four go, marmel, dolphinfan, the afoci, and me.

LA selects:

WR N, now known as WR Arnold Schwartzenegger

With the 6th pick in the 2nd round, Milwaukee selects WR - O now known as "Nothing but Touchdowns."

Fargo selects S PP, now known as Don't Throw Here.

Thank god.

illinifan--your pm box is full again. Let me know if you are interested in moving down one spot in the second round.

Ok, I've cleared it out. In fairness please re-send all your pms taht you tried to.

With the 18th pick in the 2004 ZFL draft, the Chicago Eagles select CB SS TBA.

The Chicago Eagles trade CB SS TBA, and their number 8 pick in the 3rd round to Portland for OT Poseidon and Portland's 4th, and 10th pick in the third round.

With the 19th pick, the Rednecks select Safety QQ, now known as "Ain't Got No" Satisfaction Jackson.

The CB we received in trade will be known as <b>Fujiyama Brown</b>, out of the University of Washington. (Tokyo Branch)

With the final pick in the 2nd round, Birmingham selects:

OG X., now known as Norman




Wow, having the last pick sucks....

Swaggs, you're on the clock

Little Rock selects OG (Y.) Rudolphy Rudy.

Fargo is on the clock...

The Milwaukee Muscle Men announce the following trade. Milwaukee trades their 3rd round pick (6th in the round) and their two 4th round picks (6th and 7th in the round) to Fargo for their 3rd round pick (2nd in the round).

With the 2nd pick in the 3rd round Milwaukee selects, DT- AA known as, "Where do you think you're going?"

It's the season for trades!

sweet

Originally posted by DolphinFan1
With the 2nd pick in the 3rd round Milwaukee selects, DT- AA known as, "Where do you think you're going?"

Your equipment manager will be happy when he gets to stitch that name on his jersey. :)

Originally posted by Swaggs
Your equipment manager will be happy when he gets to stitch that name on his jersey. :)

That's why he gets paid the big bucks. I spare no expense.

In the 3rd round, Albuquerque selects:

DE HH - Hugh Jass

Who is up?

Check the draft board!! :)
Chicago is on the clock

With the 4th pick in the third round, Chicago selects out of Georgia Tech OLB LL Leroy Luveksen.

LA selects:

OG Z, now known as Jack Nicholson.

Fargo selects OLB MM, or Hurt your Mommy and the Kicker XX with the next pick, who is now known as Xsquared.

So who's up now?

Me. One moment.

With the 8th pick in the 3rd round, Portland selects, from the University of Ancient Powers, FB <b>Cthulu Junior</b> (J)

Digamma's up right?

I think someone got skipped. We went from the 6th pick to the 8th. If it is really the 9th pick, I am up, but I've lost track due to the trades.

No the Afoci had the 6th and 7th pick, and picked both guys in one post.

Got it. Let me check out the board.

Be warned, the board is getting pretty thin.

Looks that way to me too.

I'll take WR P., now known as Luke Jackson.

With the final pick in the 3rd round Chicago selects QB B out of Wisconisn. He shall beknown as Carlos Xio.

Draft board updated (I think)

I'd be willing to trade my fourth round pick for just about anything. I might even give it away. Any takers?

I'll take it.

I'll give you a ham for it.

I have a slightly used highlighter at my desk (since it seems I have to up the bid). It is yours.

You pay for the shipping.

Little Rock selects MLB (KK.) Kublai Khan.

I'll see your slightly used pen and raise you an empty pack of cigarettes.

Complete with tobacco flakes still inside.

You've got to take that deal!

Wait!

I'll give you a used napkin and a bank roll of nickels (nickels not included)

No! *looks around his desk*

I'll toss in a bottle of lighter fluid (lighter fluid not included) and a straightened paper clip!

Woo-hoo! Looks like I picked that first round pretty darn good. 'cept for sachmo going for need over talent. Dunno if that was so smart. Let Chicago get an OT, too. Tsk-Tsk.

Swame sees Chicago jumping back into the championship fray next season...

Great work, guys! I'm not back yet, just checking in. I won't be around till Monday, so keep rollin!

Sorry if my desire to win handed Chicago the championship again, everyone.

I guess from now on, I should draft EXACTLY who Rev projects me to draft. Maybe that would be the "smart" thing to do. Not fun, but smart.

My final offer:

Empty Cup of Coffee
Used highlighter
Monday's USA Today
The July 16th page from my Giants day page calender
This week's caf menu from where I work

*looking around me desk*

Note pad with 3 pages left, and some notes on it.

You pay fort he shipping of course.

You forced me to play the Trump.

A broken motherboard.

Maybe I should just give it to Fargo if they make their pick in the next hour...

OK, here's my final offer:

used napkin
roll of nickels (w/o nickels)
roll of masking tape
370 MB hard drive (circa 1994)
one tarnished spoon
one single serving package of mayonnaise (Heinz)
Home Depot ad insert from June 9, 2003
dry erase marker (red), not guaranteed to still work.

See my previous offers, combine them, and add, yes.

An emtpy bag of Kitchen Cooked potato chips.

Fargo selects DE II, now known as Number II

Albuquerque selects K YY. - Capital City Goofball

Portland is up.

No we aren't. (Pick was traded to San Antonio)

Oops, sorry, didn't update that trade.

San Antonio is on the clock.

(Better?)

Sorry, I couldn't even tell what round we were in.
I'm not sure what to do here. My fear of screwing up the league is outweighed by my apathy for taking a 4th round player.

With the 4th pick of the 4th round, San Antonio will take HB I.
I will name him Mud.

Next pick.

Originally posted by sachmo71
Sorry, I couldn't even tell what round we were in.
I'm not sure what to do here. My fear of screwing up the league is outweighed by my apathy for taking a 4th round player.

With the 4th pick of the 4th round, San Antonio will take HB I.
I will name him Mud.

Next pick.

I hate to prolong the agony but I believe we are still in the 3rd round.:D

Originally posted by DolphinFan1
I hate to prolong the agony but I believe we are still in the 3rd round.:D

If that' s true, then I don't have a pick, because I traded my second and third round picks, 2(7) and 3(7), to Fargo for 2(2). I traded my 4th round pick last year for Safety He-Man. I then traded HB Ron Dayne to Coffee Warlord for his 4(4).

To refresh memories:
Originally posted by Coffee Warlord:
The Portland Sea Biscuits would like to announce a trade with San Antonio.

Portland gets: HB Ron Dayne

San Antonio gets: Portland's 4th round pick (4th in round)

And we've got a Wide Receiver, an Offensive Tackle, and a Safety up for barter




There has GOT to be a better way to do this!! :mad:

Nah, we're in the fourth round. If we were in the third round, we'd be in some real trouble with how thin the draft board is.

I hope we are not in the third round...I already made my fourth round pick. :)

This is why I traded my 4th rounder.

No need to pick anything out of this cesspool of shit players. :)

My fault. I lost track with all the trading going on. Sorry.

So, who's up now, LA?

Bump

Originally posted by NevStar

NEXT PICK: 45 - LA

REMAINING PICKS

4th:
LA, FG, FG, CH, KX, BH

Marmel is on the clock

LA selects:

QB C, now known as Richard Dean Anderson.

i do not know any celebs named Richy D. Anderson

MARMEL HAS LOST IT.

Originally posted by Shorty3281
i do not know any celebs named Richy D. Anderson

MARMEL HAS LOST IT.

Ah, youngsters.

There once was a great man named McGyver. He could get out of any situation with a piece of chewing gum, a stick, and some string. He never had to use a gun (actually, he was quite anti-gun) yet he managed to save the world many a time.

Who was this McGyver, you might be asking? Behind the mask he was just a mild-mannered actor named Richard Dean Anderson. I am told that he has gone on to take over Kirk Russel's role in the Stargate tv show, but this does nothing to discredit the greatness that was at one time McGyver...

So we're waiting on The Afoci?

Fargo selects DT BB, who is now known as Fat. Then select WR Q. His name stays the same.

Chicago selects CB TT who will be known as Help Me

Thank you for the Richard Dean Anderson explanation Jeeber. to anyone not familiar with McGyver, I feel real, reall sorry for. I just thought QB would be a good position for a guy like McGyver. :)

digamma is on the clock

bump

Knoxville selects CB UU, also known as Cut Jackson

This thread needs to be humanely destroyed.

To end the ZFL Draft of 2004, Birmingham selects- FB K., now named Crappy

4 rounds too much for 'ya fellas? Tell it to Cincy and El Paso, who are going to be begging for players. Anways, I'm proud of you guys for getting this done without me. Perhaps we'll cut it back to 3 rounds next season. Either that, or perhaps I should accelerate the decline of aging players. Right now it looks like there will be several 40-year-old contributors. Oh, never mind, I'm just rambling out loud.

**RULES UPDATE**
I've made a slight change to the grading system of roster players. This does not affect their performance, only how accurate the reporting of their talent. With the abundance of top notch players through the draft in recent years, I've found the current system less accurate than should be. Therefore,

*it will be slightly harder for players to achieve an A or an A+ rating.
*consequently, some players who were right on the bubble last year, will be ranked an A or a B+ this year, rather than the A+ or A they were ranked last year. This does not necessarily reflect a loss of skill (especially in young players), only a change in the grading system. To San Antonio and Little Rock, who were hit the hardest with this--sorry. But the new system should improve scouting accuracy. For the teams who still have A+ players on your roster, congratulations, you've got a stud.

Updated rosters, draft reports, etc. will leak out slowly over the next few days. The commish has a lot of ZFL work to do all of a sudden.

What? Work? So being the commish of the ZFL doesn't pay you enough? That sucks:D

The expansion clubs have been sent their rosters!

Additionally, I am considering allowing the expansion clubs to hold a PM 5-round draft of the players the original 10 cut this preseason, to enable the expansions to fill out a 23-man roster (that includes the 5 bench players). That would considerably upgrade the expansions, maybe even anabling one of them to squeek out a second win this season. But then again, probably not.

I will be PMing you your updated rosters for cuts shortly.

Roster names sent!

Commish's Draft Analysis

In recent seasons, as the ZFL teams have become more complete and less need-dominated on draft day, it has become harder to grade each squad's performance. Kiper's grades seem more and more like his personal pontificating and less like in-depth insight. Instead of grading each squad, I just wanted to share a few highlights in hindsight of the draft.

It appears as though this draft's biggest long-term winner might be Fargo. The 'Fish not only landed a much-needed CB in the first round, but drafted two breakout players. In fact, the Crawfish will have 3 players from this year's draft starting on opening day, including one of their 4th rounders.

But don't overlook Little Rock, who picked up a star defender and two starters on the offensive side. 3 starters from one draft is a great draft. They still need more defensive help, but younger players QB David Slinger and DT Rock Knutne have progressed and will likely break the starting lineup this year, increasing Little Rock's odds.

Kudos to Knoxville, as if they needed any more offensive help, the Rednecks picked up two top-notch playmakers in HB Leon Jackson and WR Luke Jackson. I see no reason Knoxville won't charge for the title again this year with an unstoppable offense.

Honorable mention to Chicago, who solidified a weak offensive line by adding one OT in the first and another through trade. Honorable mention as well to L.A., who, with the emergence of 3rd year QB Bernie Mac, has finally has found a spark of offensive punch throwing behind two young studs at OT.

Training Camp Reports

L.A. - Top pick OT Matthew McConaughey is looking great in 'Contact' drills, his long arms and quick footwork giving even DE 'Spiderman' Toby McGwire a challenge. 3rd year QB Bernie Mac has arrested the reins from last year's dismal James Earl Jones, and it appears as if rookie WR Arnold Schwartzeneggar is going to muscle veteran Mel Gibson out of the starting role. The chemistry on offense looks much better, and fans are expecting an end to the L.A. TD drought.

Portland - First rounder OT Leonardo Ruiz Al Elvaro is solid as a rock, but the buzz in Portland is over rookie QB Paddy O'Leary. "I've never had such talented receivers to throw to," said O'Leary, "nor such protective OTs. It's been like shooting monkeys in a barrel." I think he means 'fish' in a barrel, but either way, the Irishman has taken the starting job away from the Polishman, Ivan Ivanivich. As for the Italian Stallion, it appears as though Antonio will start again this year, despite recent injuries, but the passing game had better carry more of the load if Portland is going to make a title run.

San Antonio - First-rounder DE Ray O. Light hasn't stopped hearing about former DE star Bookend. The pressure might be a bit much for the youngster in his first season. But fans in Texas are thrilled with the trade that brought Safety Godzilla Blitz to Margaritaville. The powerful, bone-crushing safety has made his presence felt, giving veteran receiver Streak second thoughts about whether or not a man of his age should be crossing the middle. GB looks to be the man in SA, and the Margaritas look to make some noise in the season's title run.

Chicago - The Chicago defense is getting old. Fast. But don't count out the Eagles. Their offense is on a quick rise. OT additions John Tate and Poseidon are anchors on the outside, which Chicago has missed for a long time. OG Tom Sanders may be the best player in the league, and backs Randy Steele and Josh Hackenstein look ready to run all over the ZFL. The Eagles have to be one of the preseason favorites to win it all.

Fargo - Fargo is a hotbed of preseason excitement. Not so much because the fans expect Fargo to challenge the title this year, but because they're beginning to smell championship in the future. #2 pick overall, F.Swaggs, has finally given the Crawfish a dominant force in the secondary, something they've missed since day 1. And the emergence of the speedy 4th round pick, Number II, has earned G.M. The Afoci some major kudos in the Fargo press. But casual fans have come alive in support of the handsome youngster from Europe, kid kicker XSquared. He may not be able to speak or write a word of English, but floods of teenage girls have been thrilled to get one of his "XX" autographs on posters, photos, T-shirts, and other..um..places.

Little Rock - He might Look Like JeeberD, but the Little Rock rookie DE doesn't play like him. L.L.JeeberD is showing great work ethic for a young man trying to prove he was worth the #1 overall pick. At this point, he's making a great case. Meanwhile, rookie WR Bruce Spinner has claimed a spot in the starting lineup, as has OG Rudolphy Rudy. HB Rajah Saleem is undoubtedly the best RB in the ZFL, and he's hoping emerging QB David Slinger can add some punch to his ground attack.

Knoxville - The orange pylons are running scared in Knoxville, where the Redneck offense is looking even more supercharged than normal with the addition of rookie playmakers, HB Leon Jackson and WR Luke Jackson. Some are beginning to wonder, can Knoxville break the 60-point barrier this season? Can Knoxville become the first team to repeat as champs?

Birmingham - The Alabama press is grumping a bit, as Birmingham didn't seem to do much to improve the team this offseason. Can they keep up with Knoxville? If Zeus 'ZR' Reloaded has anything to say about it, they will. But the loss of FB Nymph still stings and first-rounder, HB Roman, while impressive, wasn't impressive enough to land in the starting lineup. The Olympians are going to need a stroke of luck if they're going to be the first team to win back-to-back titles.

Milwaukee - The Muscle Men are well-pleased with 1st-rounder, OT No Sacks Allowed, but aging, injured QB Bullseye is going to need even more than solid pass protection to get Milwaukee going. OLB Superman is faster than a speeding bullet and twice as deadly, but Bullseye's passes aren't anywhere near it. The fans are coming to the grim realization that Milwaukee may have some more rebuilding to do before they continue their assent in the league.

Albuquerque - The Isotopes are having some growing pains with young 1st rounder, WR Quagmire. He has all the talent in the world, but seems to have taken dedication classes from Randy Moss. QB Gruesome has been on his case, but the rookie takes off nearly as many plays as he takes on. The team as a whole is looking pretty sad, except of course, for QB Moe Sizzlack. The flamethrower is poised, powerful, accurate, and should be considered the league's most dangerous player.

Cincinatti - G.M. Shorty has invited nearly 100 players from Canada, Europe, even New Zealand to try out for the expansion club. There's a long, weeding out process ahead of him. Some veteran NFL back-ups look to give Cinci some punch, especially at OT and OLB, but quality youngsters seem a bit hard to find. If they can ink him, they do have a young, quick, and elusive DE they're courting, however.

El Paso - The team-building process is a little further ahead in El Paso, where the owner has placed an emphasis on defense. They've already inked an anchor, a 20-year-old MLB from Canada who will quickly rise to stardom in the ZFL. The rest of the D is solid, and the offense looks to get a little punch, especially from veterans at QB and OG. It appears as if El Paso has the edge between the two expansion clubs, but there's a long season ahead!

Encouraging news on LA. As long as I beat Shorty and Swaggs this season, I am comfortable.

When do the regular season games kick off rev?

GO FARGO!!!!

Originally posted by Marmel
Encouraging news on LA. As long as I beat Shorty and Swaggs this season, I am comfortable.

When do the regular season games kick off rev?

That's the way to aim high there.

Games will kick off likely later this week. Maybe early next week. I've still got to get the rosters out and the cuts in. Sending them out now, in fact.

The good news is, our expansion clubs are quick on the draw and have named all their players (The El Paso Busters are a great concept!). Now, the expansion clubs need to get their names in to Coffee's website (wait, it was Coffee, right? Oh, I forget), so everyone can meet the new recruits.

Rumors out of Knoxville have Robby "Action" Jackson on the trade block. The 34 year-old vet has been one of the ZFL's rushing leaders in each of its first three seasons. Current scouting estimates rate him as a B player. Knoxville is looking for an offensive tackle, help in the defensive backfield or draft picks.

PM me with any interest

Originally posted by revrew
The good news is, our expansion clubs are quick on the draw and have named all their players (The El Paso Busters are a great concept!). Now, the expansion clubs need to get their names in to Coffee's website (wait, it was Coffee, right? Oh, I forget), so everyone can meet the new recruits.

Should I just post the Busters roster here or do I need to e-mail them to CW to get them on the website? El Paso and Cinci aren't up on the site yet so we can't enter them manually...

I have a C rated Half-Back that I am willing to part with for a 2nd round draft pick in the next amateur draft.


Shorty and Jeeber, I will offer you two the halfback and my 2nd pick (probably top 6) for your 2nd rounder in the next draft.

As for the website.

Wait on updates and stuff. I'm going to be making some changes to it soon to make it a little more user friendly.

Just dump your rosters here for our own personal amusement, if you would please.

People on Fargo's trading block. Looking for a WR or future draft picks among other things.

24 D A.Blocker-RB
22 C+ Stone Hammertoe-MLB
27 C Burned Deep-S
31 C Girl-FB
23 C+ The Real Gus-OLB
23 F Q. - WR
22 F Fat - DT
28 D+ Don-DE
19 D+ Hurt Your Mommy - OLB
24 C+ Don't Throw Here
25 C Burned Deeperer - CB
28 C Can't Remember What I Renamed Him -K

Originally posted by Coffee Warlord
Just dump your rosters here for our own personal amusement, if you would please.

Done and done....

I am now proud to introduce the El Paso Busters. The team consists of players who were projected to be good NFL players but instead became true busts. The Busters managment feels that the name recognition will help the team to draw fans and help establish the team quickly.

Here's the roster:

Pos Age Name

K 30 - Ed Bunn
QB 31 - Ryan Leaf
WR 31 - Ricky Nattiel
WR 27 - Yatil Green
OT 27 - Tony Mandarich
OT 29 - Ernest Dye
OG 33 - Eugene Chung
OG 26 - Matt O'Dwyer
RB 26 - Ki-Jana Carter
FB 22 - Rashaan Salaam

DT 23 - Danny Noonan
DT 22 - Steve Emtman
MLB 20 - Brian Bosworth
OLB 33 - Trev Alberts
DE 30 - Aundray Bruce
DE 22 - Keith McCants
S 31 - Patrick Bates
CB 24 - Bruce Pickens

What? No Lawrence Phillips at RB?

Other than that small oversight, nice. :)

My team is a tribute to H*R (http://www.homestarrunner.com/)

Cincinnati Chaps Roster

K Coach Z 32
QB Marzipan 31
WR Homestar Runner 24
WR Tape-leg 32
OT The King of Town 34
OT The Yellow Dellow 27
OG Stinkoman 32
OG The Sneak 22
RB Bubs 30
FB Pom Pom 29

DT Eh, Steve! 27
DT The Poopsmith 24
MLB Homeschool Winner 21
OLB Homsar 33
DE Strong Sad 27
DE Strong Mad 22
S The Cheat 24
CB Strong Bad 25

Originally posted by JAG
What? No Lawrence Phillips at RB?

Other than that small oversight, nice. :)

I thought about signing Lawrence, but I just have a special place in my heart for Rashaan. And I couldn't pass up an opportuity to jab at Shorty by signing Ki-Jana. ;)

Maybe LP will be a future Busters draft pick. You never know...

Originally posted by Shorty3281
My team is a tribute to H*R (http://www.homestarrunner.com/)

Cincinnati Chaps Roster

K Coach Z 32
QB Marzipan 31
WR Homestar Runner 24
WR Tape-leg 32
OT The King of Town 34
OT The Yellow Dellow 27
OG Stinkoman 32
OG The Sneak 22
RB Bubs 30
FB Pom Pom 29

DT Eh, Steve! 27
DT The Poopsmith 24
MLB Homeschool Winner 21
OLB Homsar 33
DE Strong Sad 27
DE Strong Mad 22
S The Cheat 24
CB Strong Bad 25

Strong Bad went on the record as saying, "Why you no good Crap for Crap! That freakin' Shorty listed me on his team! Doesn't he know that me and The Cheat already play for Albuquerque?! I mean, come on, like I'd really move to freakin' Cincinnati! Oooh, watch out, I'm a Bengal!! Haha!"

The Cheat added, "ma, mamabah, mah!" and then threw a bust of Van Buren at Shorty's head.

Shorty, fortunately, fhqwgads and Sickly Sam are still available.

I am very excited about this upcoming season (don't know why, I am bound to lose 8 or 9 games yet again).

Any season previews, rev?

Originally posted by JeeberD
I thought about signing Lawrence, but I just have a special place in my heart for Rashaan. And I couldn't pass up an opportuity to jab at Shorty by signing Ki-Jana. ;)

Maybe LP will be a future Busters draft pick. You never know...

You reallllly need Curtis Penis and Cade McNown in there too.

Originally posted by JeeberD
I thought about signing Lawrence, but I just have a special place in my heart for Rashaan. And I couldn't pass up an opportuity to jab at Shorty by signing Ki-Jana. ;)

Maybe LP will be a future Busters draft pick. You never know...

Shrug, at least Rashaan Fumblerooni had a 1000 yard season... but yes, no way to pass up on Ki-Jana.

Actually, so many tempting running backs, Blair Thomas, Curtis Enis...

Great idea Jeeber. :)

JAG

Originally posted by Marmel
I am very excited about this upcoming season (don't know why, I am bound to lose 8 or 9 games yet again).

Any season previews, rev?

Actually, Marmel, I only have you down for losing 7. You will likely have some offense this year, though! Just a little, but I predict you will score points in at least 3 games.

Previews coming shortly. I still have some slowpokes who haven't sent in their cuts. Until they do, I can't make those cut players available to the expansion franchises. But we're making progress.

The schedule is set...

Originally posted by revrew
Actually, Marmel, I only have you down for losing 7. You will likely have some offense this year, though! Just a little, but I predict you will score points in at least 3 games.

Previews coming shortly. I still have some slowpokes who haven't sent in their cuts. Until they do, I can't make those cut players available to the expansion franchises. But we're making progress.

The schedule is set...

Sorry about the delay Revrew. I just got back from vacation. PM sent.

mine is sent, sorry about the delay Rev

Mine was sent a day or two ago.

Maybe you should verify which ones you have...

Got 'em all, gentlemen! We'll try a quick PM cut player pickup with the expansion squads, then we'll get into the season!

Originally posted by NevStar
Strong Bad went on the record as saying, "Why you no good Crap for Crap! That freakin' Shorty listed me on his team! Doesn't he know that me and The Cheat already play for Albuquerque?! I mean, come on, like I'd really move to freakin' Cincinnati! Oooh, watch out, I'm a Bengal!! Haha!"

The Cheat added, "ma, mamabah, mah!" and then threw a bust of Van Buren at Shorty's head.

Shorty, fortunately, fhqwgads and Sickly Sam are still available.

Damn you NevStar!

Ok, I'll update my roster names (minus The Cheat and Stwong Baaad) after I add the cuttedddd players and stuff..

Shorty,
Get that PM box cleared out! We've got urgent ZFL business to conduct. Let me know when you're ready for me to resend.

done

Hey Strong Bad,

Would you like to be on my football team? It'll be really great! We'll have uniforms and everything!

Your pal,

Shorty
Cincinnati


Dear Shrimpy,

Aww, man, there ain't no way I'd play on the same team as that crap for brains Homestar. Like I'd want to move to Cincinatti, er, Sinsinnati, er, whatever, anyway. And I'm not your pal, man. Go stick your head in a vat of butter that's being assaulted by the King of Town.

Sincerely,

Strong Bad

Hey shorty, can you hold things up a little longer for the rest of us?

WEEK 6 MARMEL. WEEK 6.

Originally posted by NevStar
Dear Shrimpy,

Aww, man, there ain't no way I'd play on the same team as that crap for brains Homestar. Like I'd want to move to Cincinatti, er, Sinsinnati, er, whatever, anyway. And I'm not your pal, man. Go stick your head in a vat of butter that's being assaulted by the King of Town.

Sincerely,

Strong Bad

Pretty good Nev.. :D