I know on some level this will be funny. Just keep in mind that I am a real man with real emotions whose penis just happens not to work. :-)

I am in my late 20s and am a virgin.

How does one manage to stay a virgin for all these years? Well first off it is important to only woo fat chicks with low self esteem. This allowed me to do basically everything but the deed and also allowed me to walk away before having sex because I really didn't like these people. Also, they did not seem to mind that I would cum early or not get very hard. Then when they seemed to be ready to take the next step, I would leave. Yes, I am a jerk.

Unfortunately, a startling development occurred recently. I found myself in the midst of a relationship with someone smoking hot that is studying to be a doctor. And for some reason really seemed to like me. She baked for me. She made me mix cds. She introduced me to her friends. Then told me how much her friends loved me.

Then last week happened. Last week was valentines day weekend and I got her flowers and she really seemed to like them. That weekend I stayed over both nights. The second night, things got really physical and this is where my virgin greek erectile dysfunction tragedy occurs. We are both touching each other everywhere. She is definitely responding. And wouldn't you know it, My little guy isn't. After a while of this happening she makes a 40 year old virgin reference.

To make sure things would continue to stay awkward, I choose this time to mention that I am in fact a virgin. After the 50th time of saying No way she finally calms down and says its ok she doesnt mind taking things slowly. We cuddled for the night until almost noon the next day and it was during this time I observed she did not have one extra ounce of body fat anywhere on her body. Sigh. After the extra long cuddling session she makes me an incredible breakfast and I thought maybe i dodged a bullet.

Alas it was not to be. Two days later, she texts me asking if i want to meet at this ice cream place which is code for I need to find a place where I can eat and run so i can dump this guy quickly.

Which she does. She tells me I am a great guy and seems genuinely sad but says given her schedule she doesn't think she can balance having a boyfriend with studying to be a doctor. She also says she really does want to stay friends.

We have texted back and forth this past week and I do get the feeling she does want to stay friends, but now I have to get to the main point of this besides amusing everyone with my penile ineptitude.

I have decided to see a doctor. I am still in kind of denial. But when I am with a girl unless she is touching me in a very specific way I won't get hard. And I will rarely get hard from just making out. This is a problem I am assuming.

Also, when I am alone thinking of Jennifer Aniston I can get hard but usually not the super duper i can drill a hole in this girls rear end hard. So I guess if anybody has anything specific i can research or ask the doctor when I go that would be helpful. I mean sometimes I don't think I have a problem and its just nervousness but after blowing this with somebody really really hot and smart I just have to know what is going on.

This brings me to the girl. What should I do? She seems to want to stay friends. And everything leading up to that fateful night pointed to a really positive direction. So should I still keep in touch? Do I walk away? Do I even dare bring up the fact that I am going to the doctor? (She is going to be a doctor after all and probably has a clue about what is going on wiht me) Do I even still have a shot with this girl?

So I guess in sum. What do I ask of the doctor and what kind of medications or treatments should I be considering and what should I do with the girl.

Yours,
your fofvirgin

13 minutes have passed and nothing?

Should've posted this on a weekday.

Honestly I am no doctor but to me it seems like it is more an anxiety or mental type of situation due to the stress of the situation than anything medically wrong.

Honestly I am no doctor but to me it seems like it is more an anxiety or mental type of situation due to the stress of the situation than anything medically wrong.

Not a doctor or anything near it. The fact you have always avoided relationships for fear of this makes me agree. But if you have trouble when you are alone, eh, can't hurt to get a doctor's opinion. Maybe put your mind at ease some. Unanswered questions cause nothing but harm.

What do I ask of the doctor and what kind of medications or treatments should I be considering and what should I do with the girl.
Maybe tell the doctor what you posted. If you feel you can be friends with the girl, maybe it's someone you can confide in. If not, let her go, view her as a necessary step to fixing your perceived problem.

You must be a member who decided to either play games or don't want to reveal who you really are.... I think I know who you really are and that's sad dude.

You must be a member who decided to either play games or don't want to reveal who you really are.... I think I know who you really and that's sad dude.

If you are thinking joke, I'm thinking HA ;).

You must be a member who decided to either play games or don't want to reveal who you really are.... I think I know who you really and that's sad dude.

I actually thought it was you.

I guess I may be a sucker then. Just odd to me anyone would get enjoyment out of faking a post. But there are weird people out there.

You must be a member who decided to either play games or don't want to reveal who you really are.... I think I know who you really and that's sad dude.

It would blow your mind if you knew who had a matching IP address...

It would blow your mind if you knew who had a matching IP address...

Noop? Posting and then posting against to throw off "suspicion"? ;)

SI

Not medical advice, but if I was you I would blow $5K for a week in Nevada and get over this issue.

I actually thought it was you.

Really? As much shit as I talk? I would have paid for some nookie if I was a virgin pass 22 years old.

Noop? Posting and then posting against to throw off "suspicion"? ;)

SI

Am I the only one who thinks this person is a current member in good standing with the community? I am not sure why he didn't use his real screen name because if it is who I suspect then no one would make fun.

Am I the only one who thinks this person is a current member in good standing with the community? I am not sure why he didn't use his real screen name because if it is who I suspect then no one would make fun.

Well, I agree, you're probably right. I have no idea who it is but I figured it was best to lay off whoever it was and let it be a serious thread.

SI

You're right I will leave it alone and not make a mountain out of a mole hill. ED I imagine is very embarrassing and he came here looking for honest feedback for his problem.

fofvirgin - I suggest you go to craig's list and look for an escort there or go to a strip club and get private dances.(If your state allows full nudity and full contact)

Sigh.

Looking back, this was probably a stupid post to make.

Its just last week I was in her bed and this week I am not.

It was on my mind, oh well.

Anyways, I will just wait till I hear from the doctor. In a way I hope its not psychological, but actually whatever it is I just hope it gets fixed.

If the post is serious, he should expect less than great advice. Go to a doctor and ask someone that can really help you.

It would blow your mind if you knew who had a matching IP address...

Given how much Subby talks about his kids, I am both shocked and awed.

Cowboy up.

Wow.

Going to see the doctor now seems like a waste of time. You need swagger lessons. Learn how to dance and get some new hobbies. Make her look at you twice.

Then maybe you go to the doc, but not before you work on the other stuff first.

That said, it seems strange that she went from hot to cold on you...but folks run @ the first sign of trouble sometimes and it was bound to happen sooner of later if she's already bailing out.

Friends is just code for "be the person who listens to all of my stories about all of the other guys I'm fucking who are not you." Not always, but in this scenario it is.

This thread is obviously overripe for jokes, so I'll just go ahead and try to give advice:

I'm pretty sure you're worrying too much rather than enjoying the feelings of the sexual contact. Just breathe and don't think about anything, man. Don't beat yourself over it. Think of yourself like you're one of the virgins in the movie Porkys, and you're fuckin psyched that a girl would let you take her clothes off. It's a fun, happy feeling.

Don't do things just because you think you're supposed to do them. Do what feels good. Touch what feels good. Stimulate yourself, dude.

If there were times I couldn't get it up (too drunk, not really feeling it, whatever), I'd usually just give oral attention until either I get into it or she...crescendos. Do you know where the clitoris is? It's the button at the top of the vagina, marked with a little flap of skin. Focus on this with your oral attention. A lot of girls would still rather you have penetrative sex with them (it's an anthropological thing), but if you can get her to cum, then you'll at least by yourself some time if you're not....responding.

This has probably just been building up for you for a while. I remember being a virgin at 18 and thinking "fuck, this girl probably knows everything, and I know shit." I can only imagine being a 22-year-old virgin. You gotta relax and do it because it feels good to you. It ain't a big deal unless you make it a big deal.

Maybe you're just gay, though. Ah, just kiddin!

Remember..it's supposed to feel good, dude!

That said, it seems strange that she went from hot to cold on you...but folks run @ the first sign of trouble sometimes and it was bound to happen sooner of later if she's already bailing out.

Friends is just code for "be the person who listens to all of my stories about all of the other guys I'm fucking who are not you." Not always, but in this scenario it is.

if he thinks there's something medically wrong i don't think it can hurt to see the doc and get some help.

sure does seem that she bailed really easily though - but the way to look at that is if she was willing to bail just because of something like that then she isn't the person you thought she was anyway and it's better you found out now. blessing in disguise.

as for being "just friends" - i'd second what dark cloud said - friends is code for "let me twist the knife in a little bit deeper everyday...oh and make sure you thank me for it." screw that.

i think you tell her you have a legitimate medical issue and if she felt that that was a deal-breaker for being in a relationship with you then she's not the kind of person you thought she was and frankly you don't have time in your life to be friends with someone that shallow and unsupportive, because she obviously doesn't understand what friends are for. Then get outa there and don't look back.

pshaw - only 22?? I got that beat easy.

Oh, and if you are really bent up about it, and you feel like it's do or die...then get your hands on some viagra. I've never tried it, but I hear it works.

Get a horse

For those of you thinking it's me, no, it isn't. :p

We know you're not 22.

Not that it matters, but I don't think the original poster ever said they were 22. They said they were late 20's.

Not that it matters, but I don't think the original poster ever said they were 22. They said they were late 20's.

So Karl is conspiring in order to throw us off the trail of Izulde. I'm on to you fuckers.

So Karl is conspiring in order to throw us off the trail of Izulde. I'm on to you fuckers.

Sounds plausible except the original poster said something about a women actually sleeping with him. That alone rules out Izulde.

j/k :)

Really? As much shit as I talk? I would have paid for some nookie if I was a virgin pass 22 years old.

= V

:D

and if this guy is for real... don't worry so much about it and it will happen. unless you are really, really fat. (seriously, i have a friend who recently confided in me that viagra doesn't even work for him. he decided to get the bariatric surgery, but was told he needs to lose at least 30 lbs before they can consider it.)

= V

:D

and if this guy is for real... don't worry so much about it and it will happen. unless you are really, really fat. (seriously, i have a friend who recently confided in me that viagra doesn't even work for him. he decided to get the bariatric surgery, but was told he needs to lose at least 30 lbs before they can consider it.)

*Edit* I thought he was someone else and flew off the handle. Sorry M GO BLUE!!! I honestly thought you were someone else who does nothing but follow my post and make snide remarks.

This is truly the Golden Age of FOFC.

:popcorn:

If I were you, I would see a doctor.

Fuck anyone who thinks this is funny or doesn't think you should take it seriously. Go find out what the problem is.

I would ask the chick if this has anything to do with it.

EDIT - I don't even care to find out who you are. I think you came here looking for some advice and maybe someone to tell you that you don't need to be ashamed. Good luck man.

Great advice Karl. Chow city.

It would blow your mind if you knew who had a matching IP address...

Yeah, my jaw dropped after seeing the results of the IP search...

You cockteasing bitches :P

dude its almost definitely nerves....I wouldn't stress over it. That said she may be a bitch, OR she may just be really busy in life right now, fairly experienced and needs some mindless mind blowing stress relieving sex without too much thought, or effort. She may really like you and not have the time to "teach" you....

I don't know where the fuck I got 22 from. Anyway...good luck, Mr. Virgindude.

She may really like you and not have the time to "teach" you....

If she really liked him, I think she'd be patient with him and try to understand his situation.

If I were you, I would see a doctor.

Fuck anyone who thinks this is funny or doesn't think you should take it seriously.

See the doctor first. It should make the second part easier.

Am I the only one that thought the funniest part was the mix CDs part?

Don't know if this is real or not (and it's difficult to know with all the parody threads & whatnot), but I will try to advise anyway.

Just roll with things. But in some ways it does sound like a medical condition. I'd say it would be worth it to see a doctor. Based on what you've said has happened before...if P.E. occurs that frequently or no erection does, then I'd say there's a problem. What's the worst thing that could happen from visiting a doctor? They either tell you that there's something they can do to help you (aka it's a physical problem) or there's nothing they can do to help you (aka it's a mental problem). If it's the latter, you will need to address it as such. I think the key is right now is to find the cause of the problem.

Don't worry about being late 20's man. It's a problem if you try to pick up some chick at a bar who wants to do it that night. Otherwise, if you're looking for something more long-term with someone who actually cares for you, then it's not nearly as big of an issue. Just try to look for that kind of girl.

As they say in 40 year old virgin, "You're putting the pussy on a pedestal...don't put the pussy on a pedestal!" That is seriously so true in so many ways when it comes to the ladies.

If this thread is for real, then good luck with fixing it. It's not going to magically fix itself on its own. I think you're going to have to do something (either via a doctor or by dealing with your emotional issues) before you will be able to have a healthy and successful relationship that ends in nookie.

Good luck :)

It would blow your mind if you knew who had a matching IP address...

Yeah, my jaw dropped after seeing the results of the IP search...

Fucking elitists.

It would blow your mind if you knew who had a matching IP address...

Yeah, my jaw dropped after seeing the results of the IP search...

Yeah, just keep us guessing, thx.

This needs a poll...no pun intended.

Am I the only one that thought the funniest part was the mix CDs part?

No, I thought it was pretty funny too. In fact, that goes a good way to explaining why she reacted the way she did. Making a mix CD (in my day, we called them mix tapes - get off my lawn!) is something you do when you're a teenager, not in your mid to late 20s. Her social mind must still be at the teenager stage and that pretty much explains why she bolted at the first problem she found.

Telling a girl you are a virgin = relationship kiss of death

Ironically enough, I'm listening to "Mix Tape" off the Avenue Q OST. :p

i think its DeTox or Chubby.

also, one possible solution is to come to grips with your homosexuality and realize you may not be as attracted to women as you assume you would/should be.

also, one possible solution is to come to grips with your homosexuality and realize you may not be as attracted to women as you assume you would/should be.

If everyone's a little queer, why can't he be a little straight?

Kidding, virgin!

also, one possible solution is to come to grips with your homosexuality and realize you may not be as attracted to women as you assume you would/should be.

No need to be coy anthony. The answer is yes. I will go out with you. :-*

Am I the only one that thought the funniest part was the mix CDs part?

The mix CD was pretty damn funny. I was there with you on the quality.

This needs a poll...no pun intended.

Then I got to this post, and this really was nearly perfectly executed. Beautiful.

Come on guys I really need this advice!

Oh shit now you all know it was me!

See a doctor.

If its mental, practice, a lot. Or try to understand your anxiety and see if removing it from your mind helps.

I'd say more but you need to know the problem before you can really give advice.

no offense but maybe drinking a lot/smoking weed would calm you down and remove your inhibitions to just let loose (actually, loose is the opposite of what you're after, but you get the point) and just want to attack the pussy then get all hung up about it. drinking puts everyone in the proper mindset.

So did Izulde admit it was him yet?

super duper i can drill a hole in this girls rear end hard

Man, I have been there before. Oh, wait...now I'm hard.

"Don't put the pussy on a pedestal" ---40 Year Old Virgin

That's advice I'm trying to take in my life, and I would definitely suggest it to "you" too :)

i think its DeTox or Chubby.

False.

False.

Yeah, everyone knows your issue is premature popping.

i was thinking about this thread last nite and i figured out who fofvirgin is:


SirFozzie.

Suvey sez...

(buzzer)

Wanna try again, HA?

(while I'm not going to go into my sexual history (there's been quite enough of THATalready for FOFC's taste, I bet), I can conclusively state that I am not fofvirgin, nor do I know who it is)