As some of you know i coach a kids rep hockey team.I have been doing so for almost 15 years.

I have a problem that i have never faced before going on right now.

We had a decent league season finishing 3rd over all and then losing out in the semi finals to the first place team.Not bad.

During the season i take my team to approx 7 tourneys,so far this year we have made the finals of these tournys 5 times........and lost each one....3 in overtime.

This weekend it happenend again.....we lost to a team from Dallas 3-2 in OT.Heart breaking again.

We have our last Tournament in two weeks and i start my preperations with my team tommorrow.

My question is...How do i pick up the pieces of these fragile ego's after so many near misses.How can i build their confidence up to be winners?

Is this a mental block....do i need to bring in a sport phycologist(half kidding).

Feedback would be appreciated.

Would I be a jerk if I said "Way to go Dallas team!"?

would I be a jerk if I pointed out that if this were the NHL, you would have been replaced by Mike Keenan by now?

Would I be a jerk if I said "Way to go Dallas team!"?

No...I expected that from you :)

Ever heard of the Dallas Roadrunners?That's what the team was called.They are apperantly coached by an ex-NHL'er.

would I be a jerk if I pointed out that if this were the NHL, you would have been replaced by Mike Keenan by now?

That's partially what is bothering me is my teams and mine inability to "win the big one" so to speak.

Are the close losses just dumb luck or have the kids started playing differently in the overtimes? Are they playing not to lose instead of playing to win?

How old are the kids? My personality would dictate that I would joke about it in your situation. If your team gets to the finals in the next tournament I would tell the kids "thanks for your hard work, now let's pack up and get back home." Then just turn them loose. It's not like whatever tactics and strategies you're using have worked. ;)

Nah, the only youth-ish team in the area that I've ever really paid attention to is the Texas Tornadoes, and I think they're more of a junior team.

Are the close losses just dumb luck or have the kids started playing differently in the overtimes? Are they playing not to lose instead of playing to win?

How old are the kids? My personality would dictate that I would joke about it in your situation. If your team gets to the finals in the next tournament I would tell the kids "thanks for your hard work, now let's pack up and get back home." Then just turn them loose. It's not like whatever tactics and strategies you're using have worked. ;)

They are 10 year old who prolly forget about the loss as soon as their equipment is off....but for a coach it makes it hard to sleep at night.

bbor, it's times like this that I always think of that well known acronym: WWPKD? What Would Petr Klima Do?

Let's ask him.

Dear Petr,

My good friend, bbor, is coaching a kids' hockey team and is currently running into some troubles. His team is consistently making it to the finals, but, unfortunately, they always lose in overtime. I know you scored some big goals in your career, one of the biggest being that overtime goal in triple OT in the Cup finals against Boston - that was huge - so, I was wondering if you had any words of wisdom for bbor?

Your greatest fan,

H_B




http://sjsharkie.dagnabit.org/newgallery/k/klima.JPG

H_B,

Thanks for the e-mail. That was a big goal. It was pretty exciting when we won that game. I couldn't have done it without all of my great teammates, though. They were playing so well throughout the entire series, that I was able to remain very fresh when it came to overtime. I had a lot of jump left in my legs and just got lucky.

Anyway, about your friend, bbor. First, let me say that he's doing a great thing coaching youth hockey. I do it my spare time too. It's a noble cause and a greaty way to spend your free time. The kids are our future! About his problem, I think he just has to tell the kids things just happen. It's not a curse or a mental block, it's just bad luck. Next time they go into overtime, tell them not to think about it. Just go out there and have fun, just like Petr Klima used to!

Well, I hope that helps your friend. All the best!

Your true friend,

Petr Klima

They are 10 year old who prolly forget about the loss as soon as their equipment is off....but for a coach it makes it hard to sleep at night.

I wouldn't be so sure about the "forget about it as soon as their equipment is off". I'm not coaching now and I've never actually coached hockey but my son's soccer team was destroyed in their first tourney last Summer, after having a very start to the season. The kids had their confidence shaken up pretty badly and played poorly for a couple of games after the tourney, until they had one big win and got back on track.

I'd stay positive and keep reinforcing the fact that they if they keep working hard, their turn will come. Cheesy but what can you say to 10 year olds?

And I also agree with the Mike Keenan comment :D

FM

LOL@WWPKD:D

I would just stay positive with them and not mention the past losses in your preparation or during the game. Just keep teaching them how to play hockey and don't make a big deal about it - they're only 10. If they win that's great but just focus on teaching them to compete as hard as they can and that whatever result happens is fine as long as they did their best.

I coach 7-9 year olds and it's true: when the jerseys go off, they forget about it. But then, when the jerseys go on again, they will remember the wins and losses. I've been wondering recently how to get the volleyball team I coach over the hump of losing games and not being able to finish high in tournaments. In the end, I'm still not sure what did it, but in the last tournament the kids got over the hump, fight for every ball and managed to win the tournament.

Give the kids confidence in that you think they can do it, that's probably the biggest thing for them to keep believing in their ability. It might be hard (or not, depends on you :)) to have your body language tell them you believe in them, but I'm starting to believe that's what your role as coach should be. Okay, I'm in an advantage because I can be within 5 metres of all of them during a volleyball game, it's easy to say good thinks and I suppose it is slightly different in hockey.

Sure, you can't lie to them, they will see through it, but if you honestly believe they have the skills to win a tournament, tell them that before the final. And I'd probably end a short speech with a "you guys can do it, go for it, have fun: play hockey!" A team yell and let the game begin.

Quote Churchill at every opportunity.

"Victory has a thousand fathers, defeat is an orphan."

Actually, as a youngster I was involved in these types of things in football, basketball, baseball, and track. Each time it happened, I became a little tougher mentally, even though I didn't realize it. You might not know it, and they might not know it, but they are gaining very valuable experience by these types of situations. The glory will happen if they do not give up. And it might not even happen in hockey. It may be something totally unrelated, and these experiences might spell the difference in a future victory. And I am a big believer that things are sweeter the harder you have to work to get there.

I don't know about forgetting stuff like that...heck, I still remember hockey/baseball tournaments from when I was around that age (15-20 years ago)...some of the memories are good ones, some not so good. For a lot of guys, these kinds of memories are ones that stick with you forever because for a lot of guys those were the "good ol' days" back when life was all about sports and having fun...who wouldn't want to relive those memories??

With that said, I've coached Little League for 10 years and just try and make sure the kids understand that I'm proud of them no matter what and that they should be proud of each other and themselves. Even get specific about certain skills they've learned or improved on throughout the season and then make sure they understand that having fun is the key to winning. I wouldn't bring up the past tournaments or anything like that, just have them focus on the upcoming games and to keep that attitude throughout the tournament. Of course, if you do end up in the finals again and overtime is looming...again, that's when you have to remind the kids that nothing they do now is going to fix what happened last week...so just go out and do your best this time and hopefully things take care of themselves.

I have found that when you get in a rut with these types of scenarios it is best to keep the kids loose. Direct their focus away from the fact they lost another tough one and direct it to how proud you are of what they have accomplished, and how the lessons they take from this will eventually reward their hard work. I have split my 18 years of Coaching Football 50/50 between High School and youth Football and between the ages of 8-18 the Kids obviously get a lot more competitive and technically sound, but their mental triggers don't change much. For your part just make sure the kids know you care for them and believe in them, and that will be the difference maker.

My favorite group of kids was one I had back in the 90's in Pop Warner before I got a High School job. Their first year together before I took the team they scored one TD in 12 games. They all remembered that when they came back the next year. I set small goals, I told them we would score in our first game and we did. We started 0-6, but I never quit telling them how much I believed in them and more importantly I spent time with the Parents, befriended them, and got them to reinforce those beliefs. I think this is key as a parent can can destroy hours of work by a Coach in 2 minutes.

Example: Little Johnny on the ride home from practice. "Dad we have worked really hard this week and Coach says we are going to have a great tournament"

Dad "That's great son, too bad you will probably lose in the finals again"

Guess what that Kid goes to sleep thinking about?

With the team I mentioned above we split our last 6 games, had losing records the next 2 years as well, but improved at a steady rate. The last year I had them, I brought in a new Defensive Coach, reorganized my practice schedule and gave them a summer plan (basically push-ups and sit-ups, with some cardio) I never quit selling them how much of difference these things would make as well as continually reinforcing how proud I was in their efforts and spirit and how I wouldn't trade them for any group or kids around....And, I really meant that.

We went 9-1 that final regular Season only losing to the #1 ranked team in our division (Also the eventual State Champion). We blew out our quarterfinal opponent in the playoffs and against the eventual State runner-up we trailed 27-20 with 4 minutes left. We drove over 70 yards to score with under 30 seconds left. We went for 2 because we had always preached to set your sights on the highest goal.......Our kick (You get 2 pts for kicking in Pop Warner and 1 for running or passing) was wide left by probably no more than a foot and we lost finishing the Season 10-2.

We never got that chance at the big one, but it was the most rewarding moment of my entire 18 years of Coaching....We stood there and cried together, not because we lost, but because we knew it was our last game together and those Kids left everything they had on that field....We also cried tears of pride and joy for what they had accomplished through belief, hard work and coming together as a family when things were tough. That was 8 years ago, but I still keep in touch with a lot of those Kids because they are like my own Kids to me....It was a special experience that I will never forget and I wouldn't trade for any amount of wins in big games to have it turn out differently. I guess what I would say here, is that if you have that bond with these kids, you have already done everything that could be asked of you as a Coach, whether you actually win the big one eventually or not.

Sorry to drone on but what sports do for kids is something I am just passionate about :)

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is never try.

Skate it out of them.