Did anyone else see this? Holy cow, that was awesome. They managed to nail Scientology, Tom Cruise, and R Kelly all at the same time. They told the story of Scientology (the whole aliens and lost souls story) with the caption, "This is what Scientologists actually believe." Then they did this hilarious bit where Stan is believed to be the reincarnation of L Ron Hubbard, and when he tells Tom Cruise that he's not as good an actor as Leonardo DiCaprio, Gene Hackman, or "that dude who plays Napoleon Dynamite," Cruise runs into Stan's closet and refuses to come out. Which, of course, leads to about 15 minutes of "Tom, you need to end this and come out of the closet" jokes. And R Kelly provides running commentary about the Tom Cruise story in the form of his Trapped in the Closet song. And in the end, as they normally do, they manage to boil down the essence of the issue into a 30 second statement about what a scam Scientology is. Truly funny shit.

SHITFUCK! I TOTALLY FORGOT IT WAS ON!!! GODDAMN THAT SOUNDS FUNNY!

12:30 Est replay TORGO!

Yeah it was great. This South Park season may be one of their best ever. They've been spotty the last couple years, but it's win after win this season.

12:30 Est replay TORGO!
sweet. i <3 my FOFC brothers who watch out for my gut-busting laughter that i need

The funny thing is the true Scientology story was hilarious, and it wasn't even a joke.

I was laughing throughout that whole segment with the "They really believe this" caption. That was great. Reminded me of the Mormon episode. "Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb".

The best part was the credits.


John Smith
Jane Smith

I can't wait until the Scientologists sue them. :)

After the threads here about R. Kelly's closet video, I thought the R. Kelly bit tonight was just plain hilarious.

My best friend is now in a scientology drug rehab center. The shit they do there is bizarre.

sweet. i <3 my FOFC brothers who watch out for my gut-busting laughter that i need

Oh it's no problem. I missed it myself so I'll be watching.

XOXO

glad there's gonna be a replay, i was gonna go to sleep soon too. might as well stay up for this.

Amazing episode.

A GREAT eposide.

Don't watch much South Park myself as I don't have cable. But it looks like I'll have to find this one somewhere.

"I'm not scared of you... sue me!"

Yes, I am a South Park fan and don't miss episodes.

"I'm not scared of you... sue me!"

Yes, I am a South Park fan and don't miss episodes.

Your hattrick team was the southpark cows...i didnt doubt that one

:D

I still remember the first time I watched that show in 1997. I was like, "WTF is this? Is this for real?"

South Park is brilliant... no it's divine. (yes, I know... corny)

I like the first paragraph for Scientology's Wiki

"Scientology is a scam, originally established as an alternative to psychotherapy in 1951 by science-fiction author L. Ron Hubbard, then recharacterized by him in 1953 as an "applied religious philosophy"."

Family Guy is funnier, but South Park is smarter.

I was laughing throughout that whole segment with the "They really believe this" caption. That was great. Reminded me of the Mormon episode. "Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb".


lol, yeah.

Eh, scientology is such an easy target and they certainly didn't do anything with it that you wouldn't expect. The whole Cruise/Travolta thing consisted of exactly one obvious pun that was dragged out through the entire show.

Eh, scientology is such an easy target and they certainly didn't do anything with it that you wouldn't expect. The whole Cruise/Travolta thing consisted of exactly one obvious pun that was dragged out through the entire show.
I think there are so many people out there who have heard of Scientology but don't really know what it is, that this episode was worth making. Of course, most of the people who don't really know what Scientology is all about probably don't watch South Park, so I'm not sure the episode was a perfect match for the audience. Still, I watched it as my wife read, and eventually she started watching it and after the "this is what they really believe" part, she asked me whether that was true. And I said, "yes, hunny, that guy you've worshipped since Top Gun is a crazy fucking moron."

I think for a lot of people, Scientology is just some out-there religion, but many people don't know the specifics about the aliens and the freezing and the tortured souls and the paying for self-help. Mwa-hey, bwa-hai. Oh wait, that's a different cartoon.

I think for a lot of people, Scientology is just some out-there religion, but many people don't know the specifics about the aliens and the freezing and the tortured souls and the paying for self-help. Mwa-hey, bwa-hai. Oh wait, that's a different cartoon.

The "Hidden Truth" about the nature of the universe is taught to the most advanced Scientologists in a series of courses known as the Advanced Levels. These are the levels above "Clear", and their contents are held in strict confidence within Scientology. The most advanced of all are the eight Operating Thetan levels, for which the initiate needs to be thoroughly prepared. The highest level, OT VIII, is only disclosed at sea, on the Scientology cruise ship Freewinds. Since being entered into evidence in several court cases beginning in the 1980s, synopses and excerpts of these secret teachings have appeared in numerous publications.

In the OT levels, Hubbard describes a variety of traumas commonly experienced in past lives. He explains how to reverse the effects of such traumas by "running" various Scientology processes. Among these advanced teachings, one episode that is revealed to those who reach OT level III has been widely remarked upon in the press: the story of Xenu, the galactic tyrant who first kidnapped certain individuals who were deemed "excess population" and loaded these individuals into space planes for transport to the site of extermination, the planet of Teegeeack (Earth). These space planes were supposedly exact copies of Douglas DC-8s. He then stacked hundreds of billions of these frozen victims around Earth's volcanoes 75 million years ago before blowing them up with hydrogen bombs and brainwashing them with a "three-D, super colossal motion picture" for 36 days. The traumatized thetans subsequently clustered around human bodies, in effect acting as invisible spiritual parasites known as "body thetans" that can only be removed using advanced Scientology techniques. Xenu is allegedly imprisoned in a mountain by a force field powered by an eternal battery.

Scientologists argue that published accounts of the Xenu story and other colorful teachings are pulled out of context for the purpose of ridiculing their religion. Journalists and critics of Scientology counter that Xenu is part of a much wider Scientology belief in past lives on other planets, some of which has been public knowledge for decades. For instance, Hubbard's 1958 book Have You Lived Before This Life documents past lives described by individual Scientologists during auditing sessions. These included memories of being "deceived into a love affair with a robot decked out as a beautiful red-haired girl", being run over by a Martian bishop driving a steamroller, being transformed into an intergalactic walrus that perished after falling out of a flying saucer, and recalling life as "a very happy being who strayed to the planet Nostra 23,064,000,000 years ago".

Although reliable statistics are not available, it is fair to say that most Scientologists are not at a sufficiently high level on "the bridge" to learn about Xenu. Therefore, while knowledge of Xenu and Body Thetans is crucial to the highest level church teachings, it cannot be regarded as a core belief of rank and file Scientologists. On the other hand, Scientology literature does include many references to extraterrestrial past lives, and internal Scientology publications are often illustrated with pictures of spaceships and oblique references to catastrophic events that happened "75 million years ago" (i.e. the Xenu incident).

That poor guy is still trapped in the mountain? We should save him!

Taken out of context? Ha! The next time an athlete or coach says something and claims it was taken out of context, I will have even less sympathy for him. Nothing compares to taking the Zenu story "out of context" by comparison. Those poor, misunderstood Scientologists!

Oh, and defending a wackjob religion by pointing out that the insane story that is a part of the religion's teachings is actually kept from the rank-and-file believers until they reach a certain level...I think I view that as even worse than the story itself, actually. Imagine if all I knew, as a rank and file Christian, was the story of Jesus' birth that is in the Bible. But once I was made church treasurer, I was finally told the rest of the story, which is that Jesus was a space alien brought to Mary by a 4-eyed banana slug from the planet Aborticotta and magically transformed into a human by sprinkling Him with the earliest known form of Lucky Charms' green clovers.

The "This is what scientologists really believe" thing was the best part, I didn't realize that was part of that stuff, wow... Good episode.

"Xenu is allegedly imprisoned in a mountain by a force field powered by an eternal battery."



http://www.harrisbattery.com/images/battery_brands/energizer_w_logo.jpg

Eh, scientology is such an easy target and they certainly didn't do anything with it that you wouldn't expect. The whole Cruise/Travolta thing consisted of exactly one obvious pun that was dragged out through the entire show.

i too, was rather underwhelmed. i think maybe cuz i knew a lot of the jokes or what would be funny before i watched the episode. that "in the closet" got a chuckle from me at first, then my head was hurting from being hit over the head with it so much.

which is that Jesus was a space alien brought to Mary by a 4-eyed banana slug from the planet Aborticotta and magically transformed into a human by sprinkling Him with the earliest known form of Lucky Charms' green clovers.

well, duh, you've been misinformed. everyone knows that the only inhabitants of Aborticotta are mini squirrel pirates.

4-eyed banana slugs? puh-leeze.

Oh, and defending a wackjob religion by pointing out that the insane story that is a part of the religion's teachings is actually kept from the rank-and-file believers until they reach a certain level...I think I view that as even worse than the story itself, actually. Imagine if all I knew, as a rank and file Christian, was the story of Jesus' birth that is in the Bible. But once I was made church treasurer, I was finally told the rest of the story, which is that Jesus was a space alien brought to Mary by a 4-eyed banana slug from the planet Aborticotta and magically transformed into a human by sprinkling Him with the earliest known form of Lucky Charms' green clovers.

The thing is, I couldn't help but think while reading that crap that Christianity's creation story, although lacking some of the dramatic sci-fi flourishes, is just as inherently absurd. (*Warning: Not trying to turn a South Park thread into deep religious debate*) Just saying, if you take away the morality and value systems that really make a religion what it is, they all have a fairly ridiculous set of fables and lore that are laughable to an outsider. The Mormon episode is a great example, you can do this to anybody, it's just funnier because certain groups take themselves much more seriously.

Imagine if all I knew, as a rank and file Christian, was the story of Jesus' birth that is in the Bible. But once I was made church treasurer, I was finally told the rest of the story, which is that Jesus was a space alien brought to Mary by a 4-eyed banana slug from the planet Aborticotta and magically transformed into a human by sprinkling Him with the earliest known form of Lucky Charms' green clovers.


WHO TOLD YOU?!?!?!


Oh well. Time to send out the Holy Hit Squad.

I was a very very funny show last night.

i too, was rather underwhelmed. i think maybe cuz i knew a lot of the jokes or what would be funny before i watched the episode. that "in the closet" got a chuckle from me at first, then my head was hurting from being hit over the head with it so much.I think this is the same reason why so many don't like/get Monty Python.

The whole out-of-the-closet thing wasn't the point of their joke. The repitition and annoyance factor is what they were going for.

Matt and Trey are one of the few folks on earth that are able to pull off the "annoying = funny" routine (one of the toughest "funny" schticks, IMHO).

If you've ever watched the between episode commentary on the DVDs, I think you'll see what I mean.

The thing is, I couldn't help but think while reading that crap that Christianity's creation story, although lacking some of the dramatic sci-fi flourishes, is just as inherently absurd. (*Warning: Not trying to turn a South Park thread into deep religious debate*) Just saying, if you take away the morality and value systems that really make a religion what it is, they all have a fairly ridiculous set of fables and lore that are laughable to an outsider. The Mormon episode is a great example, you can do this to anybody, it's just funnier because certain groups take themselves much more seriously.
I underestand that. But in the big picture, where these sit on the continuum of laughability seems to be pretty far apart, at least IMO. I mean, if Xenu really is trapped in some mountain, I'm not aware of some "Raiders of the Lost Xenu" movement among Scientologists actively trying to find him. Not to mention, references to contemporary things like hydrogen bombs and DC-8s that supposedly were involved in things that happened millions of years ago, is beyond absurd. It would be like mentioning that when Christ's tomb was visited on the third day, they found that the boulder had been moved by an exact replica of a Nissan CLU55 forklift.

I underestand that. But in the big picture, where these sit on the continuum of laughability seems to be pretty far apart, at least IMO. I mean, if Xenu really is trapped in some mountain, I'm not aware of some "Raiders of the Lost Xenu" movement among Scientologists actively trying to find him. Not to mention, references to contemporary things like hydrogen bombs and DC-8s that supposedly were involved in things that happened millions of years ago, is beyond absurd. It would be like mentioning that when Christ's tomb was visited on the third day, they found that the boulder had been moved by an exact replica of a Nissan CLU55 forklift.

again you're wrong. everyone knows Toyota was the biggest maker of forklifts in the Jerusalem area back then.

I underestand that. But in the big picture, where these sit on the continuum of laughability seems to be pretty far apart, at least IMO. I mean, if Xenu really is trapped in some mountain, I'm not aware of some "Raiders of the Lost Xenu" movement among Scientologists actively trying to find him.


This would be excellent as a part of Lost. They find Xenu on the island where someone's been pushing that darn button for 75 million years to keep Xenu captive. Tom Cruise could guest star.

again you're wrong. everyone knows Toyota was the biggest maker of forklifts in the Jerusalem area back then.
Doesn't mean they didn't use a Nissan. Or maybe back then it was Datsun.

Doesn't mean they didn't use a Nissan. Or maybe back then it was Datsun.

You are on a roll in this thread.

Oh well. Time to send out the Holy Hit Squad.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

This thread is almost as entertaining as the show itself. :D

Taken out of context? Ha! The next time an athlete or coach says something and claims it was taken out of context, I will have even less sympathy for him. Nothing compares to taking the Zenu story "out of context" by comparison. Those poor, misunderstood Scientologists!

Oh, and defending a wackjob religion by pointing out that the insane story that is a part of the religion's teachings is actually kept from the rank-and-file believers until they reach a certain level...I think I view that as even worse than the story itself, actually. Imagine if all I knew, as a rank and file Christian, was the story of Jesus' birth that is in the Bible. But once I was made church treasurer, I was finally told the rest of the story, which is that Jesus was a space alien brought to Mary by a 4-eyed banana slug from the planet Aborticotta and magically transformed into a human by sprinkling Him with the earliest known form of Lucky Charms' green clovers.


Talking snakes and people being turned into pillars of salt is completely sane. Let's not forget people living 900 years, either.

I was a very very funny show last night.
You usually are.

Talking snakes and people being turned into pillars of salt is completely sane. Let's not forget people living 900 years, either.
I'm not going to turn this into a religion thread, because that wasn't my intention, so all I'll say is that I have no problem reconciling certain aspects of the Bible with my own personal beliefs. Regardless of what I believe, I have a hard time looking at a religion started by a sci-fi/fantasy writer-turned self-help guru that incorporates space aliens and thinking, "Hmm...you know, I can't prove Jesus was anything but a human, either, so I guess I just have to give L Ron the benefit of the doubt." But that's just me.

On a completely different subject, you should check out Dr. Andrew Weil's Vegetology Auditing for Dummies course.

http://img164.imageshack.us/img164/6401/be5ov.png

You are on a roll in this thread.

My first car was a tan Datsun 210. Man ,that thing was a piece of crap.

http://img164.imageshack.us/img164/6401/be5ov.png
Nice Packages!

I guess in most other religions you know what you get from day one. I know I would be pissed if I had paid thousands of dollars to reach a higher level only to be presented with this alien story as the only truth.

My first car was a tan Datsun 210. Man ,that thing was a piece of crap.
My uncle had a 280ZX that he gave to my dad, which he had for 2 weeks before the floor underneath his feet rusted off.

Nice Packages!


One of the many benefits of knowing the secrets of the universe.

One of the many benefits of knowing the secrets of the universe.
My, what big Thetans you have!

My, what big Thetans you have!

I heard Enrique Inglesias is considering conversion.

My uncle had a 280ZX that he gave to my dad, which he had for 2 weeks before the floor underneath his feet rusted off.

That's about par for the course for those crappy cars.

Actually, my second car was even worse: A lime green Pinto that looked like a green piece of swiss cheese from all of the rust holes in it. That lasted a few months until I got my baby (at the time), a pristine red 1986 Mercury Lynx. :)

I heard Enrique Inglesias is considering conversion.
There you go.

If only L Ron could work a miracle on his voice.

Nice Packages!

After much auditing, and cleardom, the body is allowed to reach its intended levels of development. :D

I cant believe I missed this one. Oh well it will probably re run in the weekend.

I cant believe I missed this one. Oh well it will probably re run in the weekend.
It'll be back on tonight.

I was laughing throughout that whole segment with the "They really believe this" caption. That was great. Reminded me of the Mormon episode. "Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb".

My favorite episode. Everytime someone says something stupid at work, I always hear that music in the back of my head "Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb".

This one rates right up there for me with the Mormon one where the do the song about how John Smith (?) founded the religion, with the chorus of "dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb" except when they talk about his wife, who expresses doubts, where the chours changes to "smart smart smart smart smart."

Very good eps. :)

/tk

I have assembled a crew to go find Xenu

http://www.theperlmanpages.i12.com/bsmovies/gfx/icecol01.JPG

the R Kelly bit in ytmnd form(hit refresh)

hxxp://rkhtc.ytmnd.com

NSFW

Crikey....Ice Pirates???

my daughter's best friend is a scientologist. Correction: her parents are scientologists and actually moved to Florida so my daughter's best friend could go to high school at some Scientology school down there. Now, at age 19, she wants to go into "the ministry".

She's such a nice kid too. It's a shame she doesn't have the common sense God gave a tree frog.

my daughter's best friend is a scientologist. Correction: her parents are scientologists and actually moved to Florida so my daughter's best friend could go to high school at some Scientology school down there. Now, at age 19, she wants to go into "the ministry".

She's such a nice kid too. It's a shame she doesn't have the common sense God gave a tree frog.
I'm no scientology supporter, but if she's a nice kid, what is wrong with her choices? If she truly believes in what she is learning, and it has helped guide her into becoming the nice young adult that you say she is, I'd have to say that it's not all bad.

So what if she has to pay to be "audited" or go to this "ministry" or whatever. I think sometimes we don't put enough value on things like kindness and peace of mind, and too much value on money.

I'm no scientology supporter, but if she's a nice kid, what is wrong with her choices? If she truly believes in what she is learning, and it has helped guide her into becoming the nice young adult that you say she is, I'd have to say that it's not all bad.

So what if she has to pay to be "audited" or go to this "ministry" or whatever. I think sometimes we don't put enough value on things like kindness and peace of mind, and too much value on money.


Twisted, her mind will become. Secrets of the universe much to handle.

I think sometimes we don't put enough value on things like kindness and peace of mind, and too much value on money.No, they make you pay for those, as well.