NEW YORK "Welcome to York," says York (Pa.) Daily Record managing editor Randy Parker about the truly Onion-esque story that ran in his paper today.

"Man Charged With Assault on Sheep" was the headline, and the true-life story, by Caryl Clarke, begins: "Somebody was making nighttime visits to farmer Terry Patterson's sheep barn in the 600 block of Big Mount Road in Paradise Township." It goes on to tell of a man arrested for allegedly sexually assaulting a sheep after the barn owner installed a barn alarm and intercom system to prevent such attacks.

But there's more. Clarke's story details the police arrest report and ends with a pull-out box highlighting previous incidents of bestiality in York, including a 1997 case involving a live turkey in a food plant and a 1992 encounter between a man and a ram at the York Fair.

"It's a fantastic news town," Parker comments. "There are so many interesting stories. ... We talk a lot about how for a medium-sized town ... there's just an endless array of stories."

Clarke's story ran in the local news section. It was based solely on police reports, Parker says, due to its sensitive -- and possibly sensational -- nature. "We did look for some ways to expand the view of it, but we ended up not finding anything beyond the police report," Parker explains. "We were sensitive to the family nature of the newspaper, so we didn't want to be salacious with it or draw perhaps inappropriate attention to it. But we knew that it would be of high interest and be talked about and be well read."

The suspect, Bruce Charles Englar, 53, was charged with felony burglary and having sexual intercourse with a sheep. Englar's defense? He said he was just petting the animal. But the paper noted: "Northern Regional Lt. Mark Bentzel said it was not a reasonable explanation for being inside somebody's barn at 3 in the morning."

Clarke's story quotes Officer Patric Gartrell's affidavit, which said: "I found baler's twine in Englar's back pocket, matching the twine that was hanging in the barn." Clarke reported, "Police allege the twine was to be used to secure the sheep for sexual intercourse."

Parker says that the paper has not yet received any comments from readers about the story, though previous incidents of bestiality -- which were treated similarly in the newspaper -- have drawn more high-profile public reaction.

"One of the earlier cases occurred at the York Fair, which is a very big event in the county, an old tradition -- the fair, that is," Parker says. "That got an awful lot of attention, so that one might have been played a little bit more prominently."


If Loving Ewe is Wrong... (http://www.editorandpublisher.com/eandp/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1000835312)

I never, ever, ever, ever, ever will understand what makes someone want to have sex with an animal.

I guess the women around those parts leave something to be desired?

He should have got the sheep to the edge of a cliff, makes them push back better.

Weird.

I never, ever, ever, ever, ever will understand what makes someone want to have sex with an animal.
They's lonely, boy. Dontcha unnerstand?

He should have got the sheep to the edge of a cliff, makes them push back better.

Issues..... issues....

Blame the women.

I've heard that velcro gloves work much better than twine.

I never, ever, ever, ever, ever will understand what makes someone want to have sex with an animal.
What about women?

Oh, wait a second. He had sex with a lower animal.

That's just gross!

I never, ever, ever, ever, ever will understand what makes someone want to have sex with an animal.


Well, sometimes they are asking for it.

Well, sometimes they are asking for it.

and he can touch them all

an old tradition -- the fair, that is

...and who says precision in language isn't important?

I KNEW IT!!!

Everyone is always joking and laughing about how people in the south like to love their animals (and mistreat them), when the whole time it was a poorly planned coverup. The truth's out now though... how sad it must be to be a farm animal in PA.

This reminds me of a story...

I was visiting our Oklahoma National Guard Infantry soldiers (who were attached to my battery) on the perimeter. To make small talk, one of them said to me (during the course of a conversation):

"One of my buddies got caught screwing a sheep."

I responded with:

"Listen, you get caught speeding. You get caught jerking off. You don't 'get caught' screwing a sheep. When you get caught doing something that means you do it either occassionally or a lot. Everyone speeds. Everyone masturbates. Everyone does not screw sheep."

To me, it was word choice that indicated he thought everyone had sex with animals.

I guess the women around those parts leave something to be desired? My college roommate married a girl from York.



Essentially, I agree with your conclusion.

My college roommate married a girl from York.



Essentially, I agree with your conclusion.


Countdown to photo of Denise York in 3...2... 1...

The band Live is from York, PA. Remember they had that one lyric that was something like, "Gotta live, gotta live... shit town"

The band Live is from York, PA. Remember they had that one lyric that was something like, "Gotta live, gotta live... shit town"

York is the rural Kentucky of the Northeast. No offense to anyone from rural Kentucky.

I once heard that York is such a small town, and all the families have stayed there so long, that having sex with anyone in the town is practically inbreeding. And come on, inbreeding is gross. So that whole animal thing makes sense to me.

The sheep was askin' fer it. She was standin' dair, lookin' awl in'cint. Den she jest dun lookted up at meh wit' dem big ol' eyes an' I jest knew we wez ta be tegetha... Awl dis here is 'bout is she dun got mad when she caught me rammin' wit' her bruther. I'm jest a victim here!

A population of around 380,000 is small?

A population of around 380,000 is small?
That's big to me. Even including students, that's almost twice the size of Tallahassee. As of 2003, I believe Tallahassee was the 7th largest city in Florida. Of course, we're spread out just a bit more than places like Ft. Lauderdale and Orlando, but still.

Sheep are kind of gross...now if it was a female lion or something...that might make sense.

Or a chimp.

Well, a chimp in a wig...

And yes...I am sure wig has been in a chimp.

I never, ever, ever, ever, ever will understand what makes someone want to have sex with an animal.

Ever?

Sheep are kind of gross...now if it was a female lion or something...that might make sense.

You like to be dominated, eh?

Ever?


To quote Suican75;

"Fuck no."

Nothing wrong with sheep. They've got nice eyes and they don't smell as bad as you'd expect. Plus the wool gives you something to hold onto.

Plus the wool gives you something to hold onto.

Hmmm.


Then what are the ears for?

You're using the wrong end, that's just sick and kinky.

Hmmm.


Then what are the ears for?

Whispering sweet nothings into.

Something about this thread just hit me: The title is A Disturbing Pattern of Beastiality in York, PA. Now, how could this story not be "disturbing?" I find the subject of beastiality is itself disturbing. So is this thread saying that the acts themselves are all disturbing, or is it saying that the abundance of the acts makes this disturbing?

Bestiality is also spelled wrong.

As long as we're pointing stuff out. :)

Something about this thread just hit me: The title is A Disturbing Pattern of Beastiality in York, PA. Now, how could this story not be "disturbing?" I find the subject of beastiality is itself disturbing. So is this thread saying that the acts themselves are all disturbing, or is it saying that the abundance of the acts makes this disturbing?
I don't know, I definitely see a pattern, I just don't know what's so disturbing about it...

:eek:

;)

I go to school in York. Yes, it's bad. I never read the papers, though, so I didn't know about all the beastiality. Sounds about right, though.

I never, ever, ever, ever, ever will understand what makes someone want to have sex with an animal.
animals cant say no?

Something about this thread just hit me: The title is A Disturbing Pattern of Beastiality in York, PA. Now, how could this story not be "disturbing?" I find the subject of beastiality is itself disturbing. So is this thread saying that the acts themselves are all disturbing, or is it saying that the abundance of the acts makes this disturbing?

I'm guessing they are presuming that bestiality is disturbing and don't bother mentioning it.

And yes...I am sure wig has been in a chimp.

Wow, it took three posts to set this up?

Beware of chimps, my wife told me of some guy who was visiting his, and some other chimps jumped him, ripped his nads off and bit off half of his face.

Hell hath no fury...

Baa, baa...I love my sheep...

I go to school in York. Yes, it's bad. I never read the papers, though, so I didn't know about all the beastiality. Sounds about right, though.
Funny, I live in Harrisburg.

And yeah, that's about right for York. Not that far from Lancaster and Amish country.

And to think, York was the nation's capital once.

-John

Dola,

A radio station, I think at least, picked up on this and actually got a hold of the accused. If it was indeed him, he was pretty belligerent and talked about the sheep coming to him first, not the other way around.

Pretty funny conversation, especially for radio.

-John

I guess the women around those parts leave something to be desired?

Either that, or they have minimum standards, such as, "Don't date men who will cheat on you with a sheep."

I guess the women around those parts leave something to be desired?

If my campus is any indication, than yes.

Wheelbarrow race, York style:

http://picserver.mirror.twistspace.com/img.php?/1X19D2Q7OI01/V9TB89PJ6QWZ/JPEG/1111362439//endf

Is York the sister city of some city in South Africa?



Girl held for sex with dog

Riot Hlatshwayo

Tzaneen - Three dogs were put down after villagers allegedly caught a 12-year-old girl having sex with one of the animals.

The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA) in Tzaneen confirmed that the three dogs were put down last week Tuesday because they'd been beaten so badly by angry villagers.

"We had no alternative because they were in a really bad state," said Tzaneen SPCA chairperson, Ranate Prinsloo.

She said police had asked the SPCA to collect the animals from a village in the Bolobedu area after villagers threatened to kill the dogs themselves to protect their daughters.

Mopani police spokesperson Superintendent Moatshe Ngoepe reported that the incident began as a rumour.

"Villagers heard that the young girl always had sex with three male dogs, so they lay in wait to catch her in the act," he said.

They claim to have seen at least one dog and the girl going behind her family's house on Monday afternoon last week and "surprised" them.

Police were called and arrested the child for bestiality.

She appeared before the Bolobedu magistrate's court last Wednesday and the magistrate ordered that she be sent to a psychologist.

"We are expecting the psychologist's report soon," Ngoepe said.

Head of the Bethesda Christian Church, Dr Elijah Mtileni, believes demons are to blame and said only prayer and fasting would help the girl.

Afraid of getting Aids

Meanwhile, bestiality charges were provisionally withdrawn against a 19-year-old man from Mphakati near Malamulele last Tuesday.

He'd been accused of having sex with a goat.

Two years ago, another Limpopo man was jailed to 18 years for having sex with a goat in October 2002. He'd argued that he abstained from sex with humans because he was afraid of contracting HIV/Aids.

That same year a Bushbuckridge man committed suicide after he was caught having sex with a hen that later died. A young Botswana man who stayed in Limpopo was also accused of having sex with a donkey and littering the ground around it with condoms.

In October 2003, another man was jailed for 10 months after villagers caught him with two goats in Xihosana village near Malamulele.

http://www.news24.com/News24/South_Africa/News/0,,2-7-1442_1685504,00.html

I don't know what it's like to live in a bad place. But your quality of life has to really suck when you look around your country and figure you'd rather have sex with a goat because the rates of HIV are too high to risk it.

SI

"We are expecting the psychologist's report soon," Ngoepe said.

I believe the report will conclude that the girl enjoys having sex with dogs.

The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA) in Tzaneen confirmed that the three dogs were put down last week Tuesday because they'd been beaten so badly by angry villagers.


So let me get this straight...the villagers beat the dogs senseless, as if they held the dogs accountable for having sex with the girl? Like she was sitting in her room, doing her homework, and the dogs were outside, throwing rocks at her window, coaxing her out of her house, then took advantage of her?!

That's painting a pretty funny picture.

SI

Oi Sack, you now officially have no right to EVER complain about my jokes.. EVER again :D

I should just edit my sig to read..

FUCKING TIME STAMP BUG!

That's painting a pretty funny picture.

SI

Would you call it...Dogs Playing Poke Her?

That same year a Bushbuckridge man committed suicide after he was caught having sex with a hen that later died.
No harm, no fowl...

Wow. This has suddenly turned into the worst joke thread in the history of joke threads. It almost brings a tear to my eye, it's so beautiful

SI

That's painting a pretty funny picture.

SI

Would have made a good Far Side...

I think Natasha Lyonne (http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/Movies/04/19/crime.lyonne.reut/index.html) is actually from PA.