As I posted here, last month, coming home from Thanksgiving dinner at my grandmother's house, a car crossed the double yellow lines and smacked my folks car, totalling both cars.

here's the thread where I discussed it.

http://www.operationsports.com/fofc/showthread.php?t=54577&highlight=Accident

Today, we got the final police report from the town cops, and there was something in there that made my blood boil.

The other driver WAS drunk, (cited for DUI in the accident report), and what made it worse is that it's their SECOND DUI. Once would be bad enough, but could possibly be forgiven as a lapse in judgment. To do it a SECOND time???

The accident happened a full month ago.

My dad is going for physical therapy for his shoulder. I might be going for physical therapy for my neck after the first of the year. The location of my mom's injuries (under neath the arms on the side, etcetera), means physical therapy's not an option and she has to heal, SLOWLY.

The Ambulances and doctor bills came in at over $2k (we have to hire a lawyer to make sure our bills get promptly paid, so they don't come after us)

And we were lucky. As I said, 10 years ago, there would have been multiple fatalities. If not for the seat belts, airbags and the fact my dad swerved, we could all be dead.

Christmas is supposed to be a time, where you forgive those who have trespassed against you, and I'm trying to do that, but right now, I'm finding it very hard to forgive this woman who not only took her own life into her hands, but nearly took ours.

This is more me trying to get everything off my chest and vent, but if anyone wants to add their viewpoint or discuss if I'm being unreasonable, I'd be glad to hear it.

FWIW, I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. One thing I will never understand about America having come from the UK is how driving drunk is seemingly accepted and how light the punishments are (and seemingly easy to avoid as long as you have a good lawyer)

I wouldn't usually advocate lawsuits, but you might want to consider looking into a suit just to teach this woman a lesson, as she clearly doesn't see anything wrong with a little DUI.

mmmhmmm... *cough* civil suit *cough*

i wonder if you could also go after the state for reckless endangerment or something like that?

The woman will lose her license for five years (as a 2nd offense), and I don't want to speculate on any criminal penalties she will face (after all, just being in a DUI isn't as bad as causing harm to others via an accident while DUI).

One thing I can do (thanks to Josh and I talking about this) is that I pray that this woman gets her shit together, not only for her own sake, but her family's sake, and for the folks she may come in contact with. Even if I can't forgive her for what she's done to my family and to a lesser extent, myself.. I don't wish her ill..

That sounds like a very mature way to look at it.

Is it mandatory in MA that she will lose her license, or can she fight it in court? Not familiar with any state laws other than CA.

That sounds like a very mature way to look at it.

Is it mandatory in MA that she will lose her license, or can she fight it in court? Not familiar with any state laws other than CA.

Not sure.. I THINK just by being cited for it (DUI) a 2nd time, her license is revoked for 5 years, but I do believe there's a process she can ask for it to be reinstated..

One thing I can do (thanks to Josh and I talking about this) is that I pray that this woman gets her shit together, not only for her own sake, but her family's sake, and for the folks she may come in contact with. Even if I can't forgive her for what she's done to my family and to a lesser extent, myself.. I don't wish her ill..That's the direction I would give you in it, too. She is 100% responsible for her behavior, and absolutely needs to pay the consquences. At the same time, multi-DUIs rarely happen in a vacuum. Thankfully, you and yours will heal. Odds are very high that she and hers need a ton more healing.

FWIW, I think you are handling this as best as possible. This woman was given a second chance to display that she'd learned her lesson about responsible driving and not driving under the influence of too much alcohol, and she failed. Thank God she didn't do any more harm than she did to your family.

It's entirely reasonable to hope that she gets her shit together enough to stop putting herself in these situations and endangering the health of others by driving drunk while also feeling pissed-off that it has taken (so far) two instances for that lesson to sink in.

I would encourage you to pursue whatever civil penalties are available to you as a means of ensuring that this woman fully appreciates the potential consequences of her actions.

This may not be in the Christmas spirit but I find forgiveness in this type of situation to be highly overrated. If a moron drunk driver nearly killed my family and myself no way would I forgive that person. One act of stupidity has shattered too many lives and people that drink and drive do not deserve forgiveness.

This may not be in the Christmas spirit but I find forgiveness in this type of situation to be highly overrated. If a moron drunk driver nearly killed my family and myself no way would I forgive that person. One act of stupidity has shattered too many lives and people what drink and drive do not deserve forgiveness.

i's agree