Watch out for guys wearing hockey masks

http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/movie/coverv/37/171937.jpg

My wife is currently on a cruise to the Bahamas with some girl friends, and they are sailing through the Bermuda Triangle later today. No lie.

[Mr. Burns voice]Insurance money...excellent![/Mr. Burns voice]

My wife is driving 7 hours with 2 young kids by herself later today. Not what I need on top of that.

Of course, that's offset by the fact that I've got the house to myself for the next 5 days...

Of course, that's offset by the fact that I've got the house to myself for the next 5 days...
Sometimes, Ksyrup, you just have to say "What the f*ck?"

I know. I'm thinking about having the TVs in both the family room AND the bedroom on at the same time!

I had no idea this was coming. I was going to propose to my girlfriend today. I may have to rethink that...

You could wait until Halloween and propose in a monkey suit. That's what a good friend of mine did.

It is extra Happy for me.

My name's Jason.

People stay away from me today.

I like it.

it might be your body odor, dude.