The second season of the surprisingly successful ZFL begins May 12, 2003.

The schedule is as follows:
Season 2 Schedule
Week 1:
LA vs KX
PT vs BH
SA vs AQ
FG vs MW
CH vs LR

Week 2:
LA vs BH
PT vs LR
SA vs MW
FG vs CH
KX vs AQ

Week 3:
LA vs LR
PT vs CH
SA vs KX
FG vs AQ
MW vs BH

Week 4:
LA vs CH
PT vs AQ
SA vs BH
OM vs LR
KS vs MW

Week 5:
LA vs SA
PT vs FG
BH vs AQ
CH vs MW
KX vs LR

Week 6:
LA vs MW
PT vs SA
LR vs AQ
CH vs BH
KX vs FG

Week 7:
LA vs PT
LR vs MW
SA vs FG
KX vs BH
CH vs AQ

Week 8:
LA vs AQ
PT vs MW
SA vs LR
FG vs BH
CH vs KX

Week 9:
LA vs FG
PT vs KX
SA vs CH
MW vs AQ
LR vs BH

As for the standings, I could use an assistant Commish. Could one of you create a post with all the teams and their records listed? That way I can slim my time-commitment by having someone else update the standings after each "week". Thanks!

<b>ZFL Season 2 Standings - Week 7</b>

<pre><font face="Courier" size=2>
Team W L PF PA Streak
---------------------------------------------------------
Chicago Eagles 7 0 175 35 Won 7
Knoxville Rednecks 6 1 280 143 Won 5
San Antonio Margaritas 6 1 179 98 Won 4
Alburquerque Isotopes 5 2 192 157 Lost 1
Portland Sea Biscuits 4 3 175 119 Won 1
Milwaukee Muscle Men 3 4 154 154 Won 1
Little Rock Slick Willies 2 5 115 211 Lost 3
Birmingham Olympians 1 6 126 185 Lost 4
Los Angeles Stars 1 6 17 119 Lost 1
Fargo Fighting Crawfish 0 7 84 248 Lost 7

</font></pre>

Dola. There ya go, Rev. :)

Thanks for throwing me a bone with Chicago in week 1, rev. :)

What's the address for the (?illinifan's?) website again? I need to bookmark it.

Thanks...

www.zfl.iwarp.com

Sweet, thanks illini...

I predict that the Milwaukee Muscle Men will win more games than last season.:D

CW - Thanks a bunch! Good idea adding PF and PA--you just saved me one spreadsheet I have to deal with.

Swaggs - Sorry, man, somebody had to bite the bullet early. (But fair warning, Chicago may not be the team you most have to fear this year...)

Dolphin - Wish and prediction granted early! Now if I can just remember that they're the MUSCLE Men and not Mighty Men. I keep messing that up :embarrassed:



Week 1
"The defending champion Chicago Eagles kicked off the season against Arakansaw's finest in Little Rock.

Slick Willie Rajah Saleem flashed memories of Barry Sanders against the vaulted Chicago defense, getting thrown down behind the line a dozen times, only to hop up and sprint off a 70-yard touchdown run. OT Renaldo Buckler sprang Saleem for the sprint, as Chicago's bid for a shutout season ends early.

The Eagle offense, however, looked remarkably improved over last year, efficiently eating up yardage with Randy Steele tearing it up behind powerful OG Tom Sanders. QB Vincent Steele put new WR Jet in the crosshairs early, shooting touchdowns to the veteran wideout in the first and third period.

In the end, said Eagle rookie FB Ty wick, Chicago showed Little Rock 'what a real ball-control game looks like,' and the champs begin the season with a win, 28-7."

******
"In Milwaukee, the Fargo Fighting Crawfish pushed the ball as much as possible with rookie RB Glutton for Punishment. Glutton gobbled up 112 yards on 28 carries, as well as scoring his first ZFL touchdown.

Fargo's veteran wideout Shane found paydirt as well (we won't mention what part rookie CB JeeberD had in that), but the offensive firepower today came from last-year's weakling, the Milwaukee Muscle Men. All-ZFL QB Bullseye burned Fargo's Deep and Deeper for 300+ and a trio of scores, while rookie runningbacks Ricky "The Answer" Williams and Bulldozer each added their own.

It's been a good week for rookies (except, maybe, for JeeberD) thus far! And a good week for Milwaukee, who wins their first ever game, while home fans look on, 35-14."

*****
"Some figured the southwestern war between San Antonio and Albuquerque would be an offensive battle. It was a battle alright, but the credit goes to the defenses.

Early in the first, a ball that dribbled off the fingertips of Margarita rookie WR Primetime (they couldn't all have good days) fell into the waiting arms of secondary superhero, Isotope safety Troy McClure. It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a touchdown for Albuquerque!

But San Anton's fine MLB Ray Lewis terrorized Isotope RB I.M.Stopgap, limiting the rook to 24 yards on 15 carries. Maniacal Margarita DEs All-Pro and Bookend continued where they left off in last-year's bloodbath of opponent's QBs, sacking Moe 'Kid Gruesome' Sizzlack 5 times. Gruesome had a gruesome day, managing few yards and only one TD.

ABB'Q DTs Nelson 'The Hammer Muntz' and Capatain McAllister also haunted their opponents' backfield, holding the Southern Screen to barely 200 yards and no scores. San Antonio sure looked like they miss vet WR Jet.

At the end of four, two scores on the ground for SA made it a dead even tie, 14-14. Bring out the kickers!

San Antonio's Eater of Sandwiches was a natural favorite in this matchup, as the league preselected (done prior to the setting of the schedule so the league's integrity can't be questioned) a hot dog eating contest to determine the winner. Surprisingly, Isotope kicker Duff Man showed quite an appetite on the day, scarfing down the Oscar Mayers at considerable speed. In the end, it was 24 dogs for Eater of Sandwiches, a valiant 22 for Duff Man, and San Antonio gets the win, 17-14. Now what other league in the world decides crucial matchups like this with wiener wars? Can you imagine the commentary in week 7? 'I know it was early in the season, but those two hotdogs are really coming back to haunt the Isotopes.' What a riot!"


******
"There is no turf left in Birmingham. Three inches of rain and two teams determined to duke it out on the ground has turned the Olympians' stadium into a mud bath. GM tucker is either going to make some money with renting the stadium out as a dayspa or utilize it instead to wallow in the woe of a close defeat at the hands of Portland.

Somewhere in that sea of brown jerseys, Erik Flamebeard and Tim the Troll plowed the way for Antonio De La Tonio to score twice. At least I think it was twice. That third touchdown looked like Boris 'Bruiser' Boriche, but I couldn't be sure.

The Olympian hogs, Dionysus and (the OG formerly known as Troy) pushed Portland back to make way for 3 scores from Artemis.

But, alas, there is no rejoicing in Mudville. Mighty Zeus has struck out. The game was decided as the Olympian QB attempted a rare screen pass to WR Revrew only to watch PT CB Kosh take it back for a score. Portland wins, 28-21."

*****
"Any lingering doubts anyone had about Knoxville rookie QB "Thumbless" Bo Jackson are now and forever dispelled. 'Thumbless' came out of the chute looking like a Cedar Rapids stock boy, launching deep posts to WR Jackson Jackson early and often. Even L.A.'s excellent secondary stopped to watch the fireworks as Jackson hit Jackson for 211 yards and 3 scores.

Oh, and the running game is still there, too. The Jackson backs punched in two more, giving the Knoxville Rednecks, looking like the ZFL version of the '99 Rams, 35 points.

In the face of a total annihilation of the Stars, you do have to give some credit, however, to L.A. runningback, Adam Sandler, who made ESPN's play of the week spotlight. Apparently, Knoxville OLB Bubba Jackson found cause to taunt the L.A. runner late in the fourth. Facing a 3rd and 12 on the Knoxville 34, Sandler seemed to take offense at the OLB's remarks. He started huffing and puffing and blowing steam. When James Earl Jones handed Sandler the ball, he literally leapt over the entire pile of players at the line of scrimmage, plowing his body deep into the chest of his nemesis, Bubba Jackson. As the two crumbled to the ground, Sandler found sure footing for his cleats somewhere in Jackson's groin and continued the run to the endzone. In a rare shining moment, L.A. scored 7, but lose the game 35-7. Reports from Knoxville team doctors say Bubba should be available to play in next week's game, but unmentioned injuries should prevent at least ONE of the Jackson cousins from carrying on the family name."

Whoa...where is my running game?

If we can't win games, at least we are kicking the other team in the nutsack! :D

Originally posted by sachmo71
Whoa...where is my running game?

Perhaps I didn't make that clear. San Antonio's running game scored twice. It's your passing game that disappeared (thanks, in large part to ABB'Q's Troy McClure).

I see, rev. Thanks.

It's only natural that my kicker would come out on top. I mean, a hot dog is sort of a sandwich, right?

Originally posted by revrew
Fargo's veteran wideout Shane found paydirt as well (we won't mention what part rookie CB JeeberD had in that)...It's been a good week for rookies (except, maybe, for JeeberD) thus far!

Do you find it fun to pick on the 98 pound weakling? :(


;)

"Duff Man has a serious case of diarhhea. Ohhhh YEAH!!"

Uh huh. Fair and impartial selection of tie-breaking contests. Yeah. I believe it. :rolleyes:

Originally posted by revrew

But, alas, there is no rejoicing in Mudville. Mighty Zeus has struck out. The game was decided as the Olympian QB attempted a rare screen pass to WR Revrew only to watch PT CB Kosh take it back for a score. Portland wins, 28-21."


DAMN YOU ZEUS! DAMN YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!:mad:

You are not ready for immortality, Zeus.

I'd like to thank all my diehard fans who have supported the Muscle Men from the beginning. We have finally rewarded you with a win. Now let's try to make it two in a row.:)

Originally posted by DolphinFan1
I'd like to thank all my diehard fans who have supported the Muscle Men from the beginning. We have finally rewarded you with a win. Now let's try to make it two in a row.:)

It's gotta be the luck of the JeeberD. The Muscle Men are perfect with him! :)

Originally posted by Coffee Warlord
You are not ready for immortality, Zeus.

He's ready for immortality.


Immortality of SUCKING ASS!!!! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

WR Revrew seconds the motion for Zeus' lynching.

Week 2
"In L.A. (0-1), the Birmingham Olympians (0-1) carried in the same strategy as last week, only this time on a dry field.

Star DE Vin Diesel tried fast and furiously to contain Olympian hero Artemis, but Birmingham's OT Poseidon ensured the Diesel got nowhere near his runningback. Off-tackle left, off-tackle left, off-tackle left, and Artemis bulldozed his way to 124 yards and two touchdowns.

But after getting redfaced by the Rednecks last week, L.A. secondarymen Ray Liotta and Paul Sorvino came up big to shut down the Olympian passing game.

The real defensive playmakers this week, however, were Birmingham's DT Hera (who helped hold the Stars to 47 yards on the ground) and CB Odysseus, who picked off Star QB James Earl Jones twice.

Another bad offensive showing (get used to it) for the Stars, as they fall before the Olympians, 14-0."

*****
"Further up the coast, in Portland (1-0), the Sea Biscuits were challenged by Little Rock (0-1). Or, at least they were supposed to be.

Little Rock's defense put up little resistance as Antonio De La Tonio showed flashes of his MVP-form, tallying up 187 yards and 3 scores. And not that Little Rock's secondary was much help, either. Portland QB Ivan Ivanivich hit Werner Voss in the endzone once and Manfred von Richthofen twice, pushing the score up to 42.

Little Rock in this game, however, did little more than push up daisies. Rajah Saleem managed to punch one in behind rookie Keith "Slap" Slapinski, but his ypc total was abysmal. The Slick Willies found paydirt once more in the fourth when newly acquired DE Mark rambled an Ivan Ivanivich fumble back for 7, but by then the game was decided. Portland wins, 42-14."

*****
"The Muscle Men (1-0) had an opportunity to stretch their muscles, as well as their first-ever winning streak against the Margaritas (1-0) this week. Unfortunately, San Antonio reminded the Muscle Men why the Margaritas finished second in the league last year.

San Antonio's powerful one-two punch in the running game behind star OG Da Man and surprise rookie OG Pancake were way too much for Milwaukee DTs Sampson and Godzilla. The ZFL's best offensive line paved the way for Ron Dayne to run for 102 and 2 scores, while leaving room for Metalhead to rack up 113 and one score.

Meanwhile, Handoff King seemed to find his groove, completing several play-action passes for 255 and a score.

As for Milwaukee, the "new look" balanced offense scored once by ground and once by air, but neither found time to operate as the Margaritas drank up the clock.

San Antonio still looks hot, pounding Milwaukee 28-14."

*****
"Fargo (0-1), who didn't fare well last week against the Muscle Men, faced an even tougher Lake Michigan battle this week, as they challenged defending champs Chicago (1-0).

Apparently, Chicago was upset about giving up a touchdown last week. On the first drive of the game, DE Jason Pepper pressured Fargo QB Killer into an off-balance pass that was scooped up by safety Ajimba Haad, who showed he still has plenty of jets in his 35-year-old legs. The ancient mideastern warrior fought his way to the endzone and gave Chicago a quick, 7-0 lead.

A team defensive effort by Chicago's front 6 punished rookie RB Glutton for Punishment and made FB Girl look like, well, a girl. No running game for the Crawdads today.

Meanwhile, Chicago QB Vincent Steele quietly put up 2 touchdowns and rookie FB Ty Wick found the endzone for the first time in his ZFL career.

Coupled with a shutout, Chicago walks a way with an easy, 28-0 victory."

*****
"And in the game that most predicted would be the best this week, Knoxville (1-0) and Albuquerque (0-1) didn't disappoint. Let the fireworks begin!

The ABB'Q defense was stymied today trying to tie up Samuel 'The South Will Rise Again' Jackson and Robby 'Action' Jackson. Behind the stone wall of two Jacksons, Fort Sumter and Lee Davis, the Jackson backs piled up a combined 251 yards on the ground. They could have had 6 touchdowns between them as well (AQ rookie DT Nelson 'The Hammer' Muntz got nailed today), except that Knoxville's coach decided to give 'Thumbless' Bo Jackson some easy tuddies on goal-line play action passes. Jim Bob Jackson, Jackson Jackson, and even Thomas Jefferson Jackson on a tackle-eligible play slurped up the scores.

But before you think Knoxville rolled over the Isotopes, consider Moe 'Kid Gruesome' Sizzlack torched safety Johnny 'Nascar' Jackson and CB Billy Ray Jackson, firing bullets with every precious but few second the Knoxville offense allowed Albuquerque to have. Sizzle poured on better than 500 yards and firing touchdowns to rookie WR The Cheat, Carl Carlsson, and 2 to FB Homer "Jay" Simpson. Homer scored again on the ground once, making a nice trifecta for the donut king.

After watching the ZFL's two best young QBs duel it out, and after the dust settled, the score remained knotted at an incredible 42-42. And you know what that means...bring on the kickers!

The ZFL grounds crew got to work quickly as the stadium was blacked out for 5 solid minutes. The scraping sound of heavy machinery thundered in the darkness. Hammers and nails, air wrenches and cranes in synchronized rhythm began the greatest 5-minute construction plan in architectural history. When the 5 minutes ended, the stadium was flooded in black light, and the fans saw before them a massive, eerily lit, miniature Gotham City in the center of the field. And standing at each end were the two teams' kickers, prepared for a sudden death match of Laser Tag!

Still stinging after last week's loss, ABB'Q kicker Duff Man pulled what may be the most brilliant, as well as the most controversial move of the season. As soon as he realized what contest he would engage in against Knoxville kicker Peyton Manning, Duff Man immediately switched jerseys. He tore off his #88 jersey and replaced it with a #81. Why? We asked Duff after the game...

'Everybody knows Manning can't hit anything except #88,' Duff Man said. 'The safest guy on the field is any receiver wearing any number other than 88.'

Apparently the strategy worked. Manning didn't land a shot before Duff Man drilled the stiff, poor-scrambling kicker 5 times. Manning attempted to call timeout repeatedly, but ABB'Q still wins the game, 45-42.

Said Manning afterwards, 'Gee, maybe Vanderjagt was right. This kicking gig is tough.'"

*****
In other news, the Knoxville-Albuquerque game was such a spectacular event that ESPN pre-empted coverage of Martha Burk's protest of the Iron"Man" contest to broadcast the game in a tape-delay.

The ratings were so high that ESPN2 will carry the game again on Wednesday. League Commissioner Rev Rew reports that ESPN, NBC, and FOX have expressed an interest in nationally broadcasting ZFL games, even before this season concludes.

"With possible expansion next year," said Rew, "the additional income from more lucrative television contracts could enable the ZFL to prosper beyond our original hopes. At this point projections clearly indicate that the ZFL should exceed the XFL, USFL, and even NFL Europe in profitability and sustainability. This is a great day for ZFL football."

Go ZFL!! Whoo hoo!

Manning still hasn't met a big game situation he liked.
Any guesses for one of the Rednecks top priorities in next year's draft?

Argh, Milwaukee lost and I didn't even have anything to do with it. Next week the winning streak will resume...

3 teams remain undefeated, with the Marquee Matchup next week, with Chicago going up against Portland.

Originally posted by JeeberD
Argh, Milwaukee lost and I didn't even have anything to do with it. Next week the winning streak will resume...

Have no fear, JeeberD. We will rebound and make it interesting. Besides, we play Birmingham next week and I hear that QB- Zeus isn't wanted. All we have to do is rattle his cage and he will choke. You might even get an interception. Go, Muscle Men.:D

Actually, Duff Man was misquoted. He wanted me to set the record straight.

"Duff Man knows Manning can't hit anything except #88. 'The safest guy on the field is any receiver wearing any number other than 88. Ohhh Yeah!!"

I'm not worried, since JeeberD is in the secondary, Zeus should have a huge game:D

Originally posted by tucker342
I'm not worried, since JeeberD is in the secondary, Zeus should have a huge game:D

My feelings are sad... :(

Don't worry, Jeeber. I think you have potential.

Good news, Jeeber fans...

Week 3
"The L.A. Stars (0-2) determined rookie stud OT Freddie Prinze Jr. needed to flex his muscles against the Little Rock Slick Willies (0-2). The Stars handed RB Adam Sandler the ball off-tackle, over and over and over...

Punishing strategy? Or desperation move for a pitiful offense?

Unfortunately for the Stars, it looked a lot like the latter. Little Rock's DE Mark waged a valiant war against the rookie phenom, and the Stars could only manage to generate 1 score on the ground. Look out, Milwuakee, L.A. is going to threaten your record this season.

And even though the L.A. secondary completely shut out Little Rock QB Dixon Spiller, the L.A. defense gave up a pair of scores to Slick Willie Rajah Saleem. Two scores is too much for L.A., who falls again, 14-7."

******
"In the first-ever live national broadcast, Portland (2-0) vs. Chicago (2-0) drew a 3.4 market share (impressive for a first, but still needing to increase for long-term profitability). Those few million fans who turned in got to see quite a game!

Portland QB Ivan Ivanivich struggled early against the tough Chicago secondary, and so the Sea Biscuits turned to their powerful ground attack. Versus Chicago's front six maulers, the bone-crushing hits boomed through televisions, rattling the photographs on living room walls everywhere.

Antonio De La Tonio showed just how much of a warrior he is, sustaining abuse at the hands of Eagle MLB Zach Urlacher and OLB Ray Brown. Still, the valiant Italian hammered in 100 yards and two scores. Thanks, largely, to Flamebeard, Troll, and Richthofen.

Meanwhile, unheralded but outstanding Portland DT Colonel Joseph C. McCormick III disrupted the Eagle's running game, holding RB Randy Steele to a single score. In the battle of the league's two best OGs, Flamebeard and Tom Sanders, the running game tally goes to Flamebeard.

But before Neither Here Nor There celebrates the superiority of its native son, consider the passing game. Tom Sanders protected his QB, Vincent Steele, against any and all attackers, and the Eagle passing game was both efficient and deadly. WRs Chad Spears and Jet each hauled in a score, and the Eagles tallied 21, holding a one-touchdown lead going into the fourth.

The final quarter proved a spectacular defensive battle. Portland's MLB Sectoid Commander, a surprising rookie, lifted his team upon his young back and ended the Eagle attack. The Eagle swarm, meanwhile, played a bend-but-don't break, which sapped the energy of the running game.

In the last minute, facing a first and goal from the 4, Portland turned to their behemoth guards to plow Antonio in for the tie. But Eagle DTs victor Green and Marshall Williams held their ground, allowing Zach Urlacher and Ray Brown to slice in for the tackles. 2nd and goal from the 2. 3rd and goal from the 1. 4th and goal from the 3. Game over. Chicago wins, 21-14."

*****
"The fans who tuned into ESPN2 late Sunday night got to see what might be considered a 'changing of the guard' in the ZFL, as the San Antonio Margaritas (2-0) visited the Knoxville Rednecks (1-1).

The veteran offensive linemen for the Margaritas, Lard Ass and Da Man hammered on Knoxville's front 6, as FB Metalhead ground in 2 scores and Ron Dayne added another.

But ball-control wasn't going to work as well as San Antonio hoped. Knoxville's quick-strike offense blasted catches of 55 and 49 yards for WR Jackson Jackson, and RB Robby 'Action' Jackson sprinted for 33 and 68 yards. Knoxville apparently doesn't need time to score; they just need the ball.

San Antonio couldn't prevent the Rednecks from getting the rock, and by the time the smoke cleared, the Margaritas were looking at a rare loss, dropping a game to Knoxville, 35-28."

*****
In the only game NOT decided by a single score this week, the Albuquerque Isotopes (1-1) crushed the Fargo Fighting Crawfish (0-2).

Young Farbo RB Glutton for Punishment continues to impress, especially when running behind OGs Eric and Matt, chewing up yards and plunging to paydirt twice.

But QB Killer couldn't get it going, tossing INTs to OLB Cletus 'The Slack Jawed' Yokel and safety Troy McClure. McClure, by the way, took his back for a score. You sure this guy is on DEFENSE??

Meanwhile, Isotope QB 'Kid Gruesome' lit up Fargo's Deep and Deeper, tossing 2 TDs and setting up play action runs that enabled I.M. Stopgap to fool enough people to score twice.

Albu-Q BB'Q'd the Crawfish (do they taste good that way? I've only tried 'em Cajun style) 35-14."

******
"It's evident that both Milwaukee (1-1) and Birmingham (1-1) made strides in the offseason. Which improved more? Today's game would give a glimpse.

Milwaukee decided to try out their new running game full-speed. And though B'ham DT Hera stuffed everything that went left, DT Athena looked like a sieve. Bulldozer plowed her (oops, is Athena a him? Couldn't tell today) over for 3 scores in a day that made the 'dozer look like Rookie of the Year.

But before one speaks of impressive runningbacks, Birmingham's The-Art-'of running'-amis also notched up a triplet, including an impressive bob-and-weave TD around Milwaukee's stud OLB Superman. Don't expect the man of steel to be fooled by that one again.

The difference, today, however, proved to be the quarterbacks and secondary. While Bullseye gave up an uncharacteristic pair of INTs to B'ham safety Odysseus, he still managed to find The Flash for a score.

Meanwhile, WR Rev-"Give me the damn ball"-rew found his QB, Zeus, more capable of throwing to rookie CB JeeberD than to his own teammates. Jeeber hauled down a surprising 2 INTs on the day, ensuring the Muscle Men would win, 28-21."

Damn! Close game, but grrrrr.

We'll beat you yet, Chicago.

Ewww. My poor defense.

Will Chicago ever lose?

The race for second and third just got interesting.

Originally posted by revrew
Good news, Jeeber fans...

Meanwhile, WR Rev-"Give me the damn ball"-rew found his QB, Zeus, more capable of throwing to rookie CB JeeberD than to his own teammates. Jeeber hauled down a surprising 2 INTs on the day, ensuring the Muscle Men would win, 28-21."

WOOHOO!!!!!! :D :D :D

Originally posted by sachmo71
Don't worry, Jeeber. I think you have potential.

You're welcome, you little Oilers fan, you!

OK Satch, you can have my first game ball. Thanks you for believing in me... *tears up*

:D

Next season, we should split into two divisions with the top two in each division making the postseason.

JeeberD, I told you not to worry. I had a feeling you were going to have a good day. Good job. :cool:

Originally posted by Swaggs
Next season, we should split into two divisions with the top two in each division making the postseason.

Even with the predicted 2 team expansion, that would mean only a 5 game season. I think that breaking into two divisions might have to wait until we have more teams. Like 16 or 18.

Whoa! Hold on with the "changing the league" discussion. Dolphin answered Swaggs thoughts with a reasonable reply, but let's keep that tabled and stick to business for the rest of this year. Or, if you're just absolutely ITCHIN to talk about expansion and or league division, let's start a different thread. I don't want this fan-friendly thread to get cluttered up with insider GM stuff.

As for "will Chicago ever lose?", be patient. This season ain't over, baby (and I've simmed ahead several weeks, so I know what's going to happen). I guarantee this may be the most exciting season of ZFL yet! Chicago snuck by Portland -- just barely -- but they've still got San Antonio, Albuquerque, and Knoxville to go. That's no cakewalk, believe me.

No fair simming ahead...we want to know!!!

Go 'Necks!

Uh oh, I don't like that reply by rev, We won't ever lose, remember the deal.......errrr........I mean.........the plan.......no that's not it......

Even JeeberD had a good game against Zeus!!! I need a new QB...:(

Sorry rev, didn't mean to stir the pot, just thinking out loud.

Still, it would be nice to have Chicago in another division, or league for that matter. :)

Originally posted by DolphinFan1
JeeberD, I told you not to worry. I had a feeling you were going to have a good day. Good job. :cool:

Thanks!

It's good to have a coach that believes in you... :)

Originally posted by JeeberD
Thanks!

It's good to have a coach that believes in you... :)

Even if that player admits to using his bonus money to start his own franchise. And he calls his GM foolish. :p

Originally posted by Swaggs
Sorry rev, didn't mean to stir the pot, just thinking out loud.

Still, it would be nice to have Chicago in another division, or league for that matter. :)

Watch the PF and PA as the season progresses. I think you'll find another team or two you'd wish "were in another division". :)

Actually, my dream division would be Little Rock, Los Angeles, and Fargo. :)

What, noone wants Portland in their dream division? :)

Originally posted by DolphinFan1
Even if that player admits to using his bonus money to start his own franchise. And he calls his GM foolish. :p

Well...ummm....errrr....

That quote was taken out of context!!!! :)

Originally posted by Coffee Warlord
What, noone wants Portland in their dream division? :)

You just aren't in our "league" yet. :)

Week 4
"In a league where teams only play each other once and there are no playoffs, every game counts, every game is a playoff game -- especially for two hot contenders like Portland (2-1) and Albuquerque (2-1).

Portland's Ivan Ivanivich found ABB'Q's secondary just as intimidating as rumored, and rookie DT Nelson "The Hammer" Muntz capitalized on it, pushing past Erik Flamebeard for 2 sacks on the day. (What up wit dat, Flamebeard? Gettin' schooled by a rook? Tsk, tsk.)

But Flamebeard punished Muntz for his bravado, pancaking the green DT repeatedly. It was an incredible battle to watch, but experience won out in the end, as Antonio De La Tonio extended his league-leading TD tally by 3. Muntz's up-the-middle charge, however, neutralized Portland's air attack, and 3 scores is all the Sea Biscuits would accumulate.

Meanwhile, Moe "Kid Gruesome" Sizzlack refused to be intimidated by Portland's outstanding secondary, notching up 300+ and 3. In the fourth, with the score knotted at 21, Sizzlack rifled a slant to Carl Carlsson, who broke free from safety Billy Jim Bob Lee Whittaker's grasp and crossed the plate for the go-ahead run. Isotopes in a mild but important upset, 28-21."

******
"On the other hand, when the best plays the worst, it's usually a snoozer. L.A. (0-3) found themselves blown out in the windy city, dropping to Chicago (3-0), 21-0.

Chicago's offense scored one by air (Steele to Jet), one by ground (Ty Wick behind Tom Sanders), and one by D (CB Deniable "Get out of my house" Cook on the INT).

The Eagle D recorded an easy shut-out, limiting the Stars to fewer than 200 total yards on the day. Eagles up, 21-0."

******
"If Birmingham's field recovered from the previous mudbath, it'll have to go back on bed rest as the runnin' Margaritas (2-1) (a big switch from last year's Southern Screen--San Antonio hasn't found their groove in the air yet) visited the Olympians (1-2).

Birmingham's DT Athena and MLB Troy proved the weak links in the Olympian D, giving up 3 Margarita running TD's. Birmingham's CB Hades got "burned" as well, whiffing on a tackle of Streak, only to watch the speeky receiver take a 4-yard slant 44 yards to the house.

As usual, Olympian RB Artemis turned in a solid day, gathering 88 yards and 2 scores, but it wouldn't be enough as San Antonio takes it, 28-14."

*****
"No one would have picked Fargo (0-3) vs. Little Rock (1-2) to be the week's most exciting game, but nonetheless, the game was thrilling.

Little Rock's ace WR Stuart Rembert came up big against Fargo's Achilles' heel, secondarymen Burned Deep and Burned Deeper. The wideout caught 9-147-2, including a spectacular, open-field scamper that reminded ESPN's Dan Patrick of Gale Sayers: "I believe all 8 defensive players missed Rembert on that play, twice."

But Fargo has an ace receiver as well, and Shane hauled in a pair of scores against Little Rock's S Beaumont Braxton and CB Scott Glass.

On the ground, Fargo split 2 tuddies between their backs, and Little Rock's Rajah Saleem found a wide channel behind OT Keith "The guarantee" Slapinski, burning up 131 yards and 2 scores.

At the end of 4, the score remained tied, 28-28. Bring on the kickers!

Groundscrew set up a large ring in the center of the field. A cement truck backed in and poured over 1,000 gallons of mud right on the field. Then Fargo's Can't Remember What I Renamed Him and Little Rock's Mr. Ed hopped in the mud. But, no, there was no wrestling.

Immediately another truck entered, carrying no fewer than 10 greased pigs. The hogs were released, and the two kickers had 15 minutes to hog-tie as many oinkers as they could catch. When the bell sounded, it became clear Mr. Ed had experience with this kind of thing, destroying his competition, 12 hogs to 3. Little Rock gets the win, 31-28. And they say players in the NFL are dirty..."

*****
"Two upstart teams faced off in Milwaukee as the Muscle Men (2-1) hosted the Rednecks (2-1) before a capacity crowd in The Gym (Milwaukee's first-ever sell-out).

The fans were not disappointed. Though Milwaukee OLB Superman notched up 21 tackles on the day (a ZFL record), it was more because the rest of the D took a vacation. For all his glory last week, poor CB JeeberD was thoroughly abused by Knoxville WR Jackson Jackson (but then, who hasn't this season), and Milwuakee spotted Knoxville nearly 600 yards in total offense.

Last season, that would have spelled certain doom for the Muscle Men. But QB Bullseye found Redneck safety Johnny 'Nascar' Jackson way too obliging, passing past him to WR Conan for 208 yards and 2 scores. Another 100+ and a 7 to The Flash, and Milwaukee was sticking in there.

On the ground, Knoxville's DT Stonewall Jackson looked more like a Jelly-wall, getting knocked down and over, not by a O-lineman, but by FB phenom, Bulldozer. 144 yards and 2 TDs for the rook.

With little time remaining in the 4th, Milwaukee had one last chance to catch Knoxville. Bullseye found The Flash for 15, Ricky "The Answer" Williams for 14, and then Bulldozer ripped off a 22-yard run. But facing a 4th and 8, Knoxville DE Robert E. Jackson stunted around OG Odysseus and dropped QB Bullseye to the ground before he saw what was coming. The sack ended Milwuakee's drive and their hopes of a first-ever winning streak. Knoxville wins, 42-35."

WOOHOO, still on track for the top pick in the draft baby!

Little Rock ties last season win total in only 4 games. Of course, the wins were vs LA and Fargo, so....

Yay! A win!

W00T! In your face, Flamebeard!!@

at least I didn't get blown out...

First pick here I come...

Wouldn't the first pick go to an expansion team?

It better not!

Originally posted by Katon
Wouldn't the first pick go to an expansion team?

If we have expansion, probably. Sorry Marmel.

that really doesnt seem right. If some people have o suffer through a 0-9 season, they really should get the #1 pick. I think if there is expansion, they should draft in the middle somewhere. :(

If there is expansion, they'd be getting the worst players from each team. The type of squad available in an expansion draft would probably (I don't know, just guessing) be even worse than the Stars. The UFAs from the last draft aren't exactly brilliant, either. Add in the fact that the (non-)talent pool is being split between two expansion teams, and it's pretty clear who's going to need the first draft pick.

The answer to that question depends on how many players current teams are allowed to protect from expansion. Someone suggested teams only had to expose 5. If so, expansion teams would suck so bad we'd have to give them top picks or they'd be worse than the Texans (or the old Buccaneers - only 30 seasons to get to the first championship!) On the other hand, others have suggested teams would only be able to protect 5. If that's the case, we can bump the expansion teams down in the draft, because they would be able to form otherwise decent squads.

Implications, implications, implications...

We can start expansion as soon as I get a good QB, after that I don't care when I pick:D

Actually I would care, I would want the last pick, which I would get, cause as soon as I get a QB, everyone else is in deep trouble:D

Being an expansion hopeful, I would rather have fewer players to chose from existing teams and therefore get higher draft picks. Part of the fun is building your team from scratch and haing to suffer for a few years. I would rather suffer for a few years ad build my team up through the draft than get a bunch of decent players that make my team automatically a middle of the pack team.

I like a challenge... :)

Recovering from a weekend of paintball. I'll update the standings tonight.

And dear god.

We lost. Erik, why have you not smashed something!?!?

Sorry, guys, computer problems preventing me from posting. But we're back on the air...

Week 5
"There was only one close game this week, and this one, well, wasn't it. The pitiful L.A. Stars (0-4) faced off against the mighty Margaritas (3-1).

The only real entertainment in this game was watching L.A. Star secondarymen Ray Liotta and Paul Sorvino face off against S.A. WRs Streak and Primetime. The Stars played bump-and-run all day, disrupting, antagonizing, and completely shutting down the Southern Screen. Star MLB Brad Pitt recorded 14 tackles, 2 sacks and a pick on the day, but Nick Cage turned in another woeful performance at outside backer, and San Antonio's Ron Dayne took advantage of the hole on the outside. The "RonDog" pounded the Stars for 155 yards on 28 carries.

No fireworks in this one, as the Margarita all-pro offensive line just pounded L.A. into the ground, eating up yards, the clock, and points. San Antonio, 21-0."

*****
"The Portland Sea Biscuits (2-2) were clearly smarting after last week's disappointing loss to Albuquerque. Unfortunately for the Fargo Fighting Crawfish (0-4), the Biscuits opted to take out that frustration on the 'Fish.

Not even solid Fargo DT The Defense could stop the constant hammering blows of Erik Flamebeard and Tim the Troll (starting to sound familiar? It should), as Portland poured in 3 ground scores while amassing over 200 yards in the dirt. Ivan Ivanivich popped a pair of play-action payoffs to WR Manfred von Richthofen, and safety Billy Jim Bob Lee Whittaker returned a pass bobbled by Fargo WR The Handless Wonder back for 7. Portland totalled 42 on the day.

Fargo's OG Matt managed a good outing agaisnt Portland's DT Maximillion Powers, and RB Glutton for Punishment dodged LBs Sectoid Commander and Kang for 2 touchdowns. 14 points would be far from enough, however, and the 'Fish fall, 42-14."

*****
"The one and only close game this week came as Birmingham (1-3) visited Albuquerque (3-1).

The Olympians put up a surprisingly solid effort, especially on the ground, where RB Artemis continued his all-pro year. Artemis found plenty of running room on the edges, where OTs Poseidon and Ares met little resistance from ABBQ DEs Jimbo Jones and Seymour "The Principal of Defense" Skinner. Indeed, it was Artemis, and not Skinner, who "took his opponent to school." 3 ground scores for Birmingham made Albuquerque's chances look slim.

But Birmingham's DE Ajax proved equally inept, positioned in a perpetual pancake at the hands of Isotope all-star OT Ralph Wiggum. The pro-set worked well for the Isotopes, as FB Homer "Jay" Simpson ran off-Wiggum for 85 and a pair of scores on the day.

When ABBQ QB Moe 'Kid Gruesome" Sizzlack found rookie WR The Cheat on a 14-yard TD fade, the Isotopes brought the score to a dead-even heat. And you know what that means. Bring out the ...

WAIT! With only seconds remaining, a fumble by Olympian FB Hephaestus is picked up by Isotope DT Captain McAllister. The change of possession stops the clock and Albuquerque has just enough time for one play, one play to go 27 yards and spare kicker Duff Man from engaging in some sadistic overtime contest of strength and skill.

In the middle of Sizzlack's five-step drop, Olympian DE Atlantis breaks past OT Barney Gumble and flushes QB Sizzlack from the pocket. Sizzlack scrambles right. OLB Arkantos closes in quickly, but is blindsided by a block from rookie RB I.M. Stopgap, who broke off his pattern and came back to rescue his QB. But with Atlantis in hot pursuit and all his receivers blanketed, Sizzlack made a gutsy call -- he tucked the ball to run for it! Fleet-footed OT Clancy Wiggum left his block and jumped out to lead his QB. Wiggum plowed over MLB Troy, but couldn't get a hand on the streaking safety, Odysseus. Only yards from the goal, Odysseus dove for Sizzlack's feet. But it was a split-second too late. Sizzlack leaped from the 5 yard-line, skying the remaining 15 or 16 feet, and knocking down the pylon for the win!

ABBQ takes it, 28-21. NFL Films, eat your heart out!"

*****
"Could the pesky Muscle Men (2-2) do some damage against their next-door neighbors, the league-leading Chicago Eagles (4-0)?

Could Bullseye's new favorite weapons, rookies Bulldozer and Ricky "The Answer" Williams bring home an upset?

The question was "answered" quickly, as Ricky Williams fumbled on the first play of the game. After DE Ahmad Mohammed-Abdullah recovered, the Eagles only needed one play to terrorize another Milwaukee rookie, CB JeeberD, as WR Jet blew past the rook for a quick 7.

When Bullseye threw an INT to safety Ajimba Haad on the next posession, Milwuakee's spirits sank fast. Eagle WR Chad Spears beat out safety He-Man for Chicago's second score, and the game fizzled out from there. One more in the air, and one final exlamation point on the ground, as the Eagles blow past their northern neighbors, 28-0."

******
"Knoxville (3-1) at Little Rock (2-2) pitted the league's top offense against one of its worst defenses, with predictable results.

Knoxville got scores from Samuel Jackson, Robby Jackson, Jackson Jackson, Jim Bob Jackson, and Billy Jackson.

Little Rock got 2 scores from Rajah Saleem (who might earn the title of "best ZFL player on a pitiful team") and one from WR Stuart Rembert, but it was all too little, too late, as Knoxville built a 28-point lead in the first half and never looked back. Knoxville wins 42-21.

For Knoxville, the points look to keep pouring in, as the Rednecks face little defensive opposition until weeks 8 and 9. Until then, look for rookie-of-the-year early fave 'Thumbless' Jackson to put up some stellar numbers."

Gah, now I'm two weeks behind. My solemn vow I'll update the standings after work tonight. Totally forgot about it last night.

I hate Chicago.

Knoxville got scores from Samuel Jackson, Robby Jackson, Jackson Jackson, Jim Bob Jackson, and Billy Jackson.

A true Jackson 5. Way to go, dudes!

Originally posted by sachmo71
I hate Chicago.

I second that.

noooooooooooo, so close:mad:

Good game Albuquerque

Originally posted by revrew
[*****
After DE Ahmad Mohammed-Abdullah recovered, the Eagles only needed one play to terrorize another Milwaukee rookie, CB JeeberD, as WR Jet blew past the rook for a quick 7.



Hey, JeeberD, You better hope that you get that expansion soon. ;)

Anyone looking for a CB next season, PM me. :D

Come on you guys. You don't really hate us. It's just the fact that we seem to be a decent team, and that we get lucky all the time. No, I am not bribing revrew! How could you uhhh.......say such ......lies......

Go Moe, Go Moe!
Don't make Homer shout out D'oh!

This is great. Y'all think Chicago is going to win. hehehehehehe

I'm lovin' this season. Best yet. We'll look back on this season as the "golden age" of ZFL. Of course, just because the most important week of the year, when every single position is on the line and 4 different teams have a shot at the title, 3 of the 5 games end in a tie....OOPS! Have I said too much?

The Golden Age already? Man... :(

well, I know my team won't be one of the teams that will battle for first... oh well:D

I still suck... :)

Oh well, good thing DolphinFan gave me that fat extension after the Birmingham game! :D

Week 6
"With this week's big showdown in Portland, few would have guessed the closest game would be south down the coast in L.A.

With a surging Milwaukee offense in town, L.A. needed to step up the D to regain some of last season's credibility. And step it up they did!

DT Ed Norton showed why he led the ZFL in sacks last year, as he tallied his first multiple-sack game of the year, flattening Bullseye 3 times. Fellow D star Brad Pitt was a monster in the middle, holding rookie runners Bulldozer and "The Answer" to fewer than 100 on the ground, combined. First time that's happened this year.

For Milwaukee, normally quiet OLB Superman had an unusually loud day. 13 tackles, 2 1/2 sacks, and 2 INTs makes him ZFL defensive player of the week.

Amid all the defense, however, the offenses sputtered out. At the end of regulation, the score was tied 0-0. Bring on the kickers!

Rookie kicker Little Val Kilmer would get his first test against Muscle Man Hercules. So what would the contest be? Pies in the face? Bowling? Chinese nipple torture?

No, battle rock climbing! Each warrior was suited in the appropriate safety gear, and a massive foam mountain was brought in to test their mettle. At first it appeared Little Val Kilmer had the advantage, his size/strength ratio better than the bulky Hercules. But Hercules recognized this immediately and took to mauling LVK from the start. Only 10 feet up the mountain, the fury of fists and kicks looked like something in the WWF. Or maybe Karate Kid 2. Or maybe just everyday life in a Northern Ireland pub.

But when Little Val wriggled free of a headlock and speared Hercules with his helmet, the momentum forced Hercules from his feet and cleared Little Val just enough to sprint up the rock. Little Val Kilmer earns his stripes, and gets L.A. their first win, 3-0."

*****
"Little Rock (2-3) was invited to an old-fashioned New Mexico barbeque, only it wasn't shrimp on the barbie, it was Slick Willies.

The red-hot Isotopes (4-1) swarmed the Slick Willies for 6 touchdowns on the day. QB Sizzlack was sizzling, tossing 412 yards and 4 scores. FB Homer "Jay" Simpson pounded in two more.

For Little Rock, the ball-control offense was all that saved their woeful D from an even more "gruesome" lashing. Rajah Saleem carried the ball 31 times. Why so many in a losing effort? Dixon Spiller tossed 4 INTs by mid-third quarter, and down by 35, the coach gave up the ghost. Still, Saleem's best work was in the fourth, and a pair of scores brought the score up to ABB'Q, 42-14. Has anyone else noticed that whatever "chemistry" problems the Isotopes were having aren't affecting their record? 5-1 now. And holding a victory over 4-1 Knoxville. Looks like we have a new playa' in the mix."

*****
"For league-leading Chicago (5-0), it was a frightening day. Not only did ABBQ and KX do well, but Chicago had an unusually difficult day with Birmingham (1-4).

DE Ahmad Mohammed-Abdullah struggled against mighty OT Dionysus, and even star DE Jason Pepper was neutralized by rookie behemoth (the OT formerly known as Troy). Behind the twin terror tackles, B'ham RB Artemis found the endzone twice against Chicago by running around the end.

Meanwhile, BH OLB Arkantos showed no mercy on the outside edge, limiting Eagle RB Randy Steele to running inside. But Chicago's poor O-line (outside of all-star Tom Sanders) couldn't get it done inside either.

Eagle QB Vincent Steele had an efficient outing, and his 2 TD passes tied up the game.

After 3 straight 3-and-outs in the 4th, B'ham attempted a bit of razzle-dazzle to get past the Eagle D. But, B'ham, Tom Landry you are not.

Just as Artemis attempted to hand the ball off to WR Revrew on the end around, Eagle DE Jason Pepper plowed into the exchange, and the ball fell loose. OLB Ray Brown scooped up the fumble and took it all the way home. Chicago gets by in a squeeker, 21-14."

*****
"No squeakin' in Fargo, however, as the visiting Rednecks (4-1) opened up a can of whoop on the Crawfish (0-5).

The top offense in the league rolled behind a solid O-line. Fargo's DE's Don and rookie Chesty got nowhere near "Thumbless" and the young superstar made them pay. With Deep and Deeper in the seconary, "Thumbless" put up 4 touches on the day. Robby and Samuel Jackson added two more for a total of 42.

Fargo's QB Killer hit FB Girl in the third for 7, but it would be their only 7. Knoxville wins easy, 42-7."

*****
"And in the game many were waiting for, the San Antonio Margaritas (4-1) visited the oddly struggling Portland Sea Biscuits (3-2).

The struggles continued today for Portland, who, despite their powerful running game, faltered against San Antonio's secondary. Perhaps it was becuase Margarita DEs All Pro and Bookend sacked QB Ivan Ivanivich 5 times, and pressured him 15? That might have something to do with it. When woeful S.A. safety Stumble intercepts 2 balls, you know something is wrong with the opponent's QB.

As for San Antonio, that incredible offensive line powered over Portland's front 6, paving the way for 3 ground scores. Rookie OG Pancake is definitely looking like the steal of the draft, as he lived up to his name today.

These two battle-scarred warriors pounded one another back and forth, exchanging interceptions, and grinding out first downs. The middle of the field in Portland is about 3 inches closer to sea level from all the turf torn up between the 20s. But 3 TD scoots for S.A. versus 2 for Portland only serves to continue Portland's struggles; Margaritas take it 21-14.

With this blow, Portland appears to have been taken out of the running. What happened? Early season prognosticators are now backtracking, suggesting a solid defense, but one lacking in playmakers may be to blame. Others are pointing at the coach. Either way, future opponents had better be wary. Methinks Flamebeard and the Biscuits (no, that's not a new rock group) are goin' to be mighty miffed and ready to wreak some revenge in weeks to come."

Fixed! Fixed I tell you!

The league just hates the west coast teams, I tell you!

Stumble had 2 picks? Yikes!!

THE STARS WIN! THE STARS WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



The fix must have been in. ;)

Ivan's days are numbered.

Fighting, and sometimes striving,
Wondering what the heck an Isotope is!

Excellence, and what is valor?
And The Cheat will hit stuff with a golf club!
A-B-B!... Q!

Originally posted by Marmel
THE STARS WIN! THE STARS WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



The fix must have been in. ;)

You do know that we threw that game to preserve our perfect losing record season. ;)

Just one more team to go. :D

SO CLOSE AGAIN!!!

Good game Illinifan!:D

Hurrah, I wasn't responsible for Milwaukee's loss!! :)

Originally posted by DolphinFan1
You do know that we threw that game to preserve our perfect losing record season. ;)

Just one more team to go. :D

Don't worry about them. Fargo play LA on the last day of the season. With the first (or third, depending on the expansion situation) pick on the line, I'm sure the Stars will rise to the occasion.

Originally posted by Katon
Don't worry about them. Fargo play LA on the last day of the season. I'm sure the Stars will rise to the occasion.

What's this? An L.A. fan?

Which brings us to an interesting question. I wonder if we have any fan-favorite teams in the league. How many people read this thread? Maybe we should get Kodos to do a poll for us...

Week 7
"Let's begin in Birmingham, where the lowly Olympians (1-5) almost pulled out the ultimate upset last week against undefeated Chicago. Could they get the job done against almost undefeated Knoxville (5-1)?

Birmingham's running game was in full-force today, as OG Dionysus humiliated KX DT Stonewall Jackson and rookie OG (formerly known as Troy) held his own against veteran DT Uncle Jackson. RB Artemis busted some big gainers through a weak Knoxville secondary, and Birmingham's offense was looking solid.

Wish the same could be said for the defense. CB Hades played like hell as KX superstar WR Jackson Jackson damned the lord of the underworld to oblivion (how's that for mixing religious metaphors? Wonder if I'll incur bad karma for that...). Jackson Jackson once again exceeded 200 in the air, and toppled the league record for receiving yards in only the 7th week of the season.

Meanwhile, Knoxville's running game showed no signs of slowing, either, and B'ham's bold effort once again fell short. Well short. Knoxville grabs 42 once again, and Olympian RB Artemis only managed to score 21. (Does somebody else play offense for B'ham? If so, we sure haven't seen it this season...)"

*****
"Portland (3-3), still licking their wounds after the last game, limped into L.A. (1-5). Which, I suppose, is a good place to limp into.

Unless, of course, you're a rookie OG that everyone has been raving about who suddenly draws DT monster Ed Norton across the ball. The Nortonator pummelled Tim the Troll on the day, recording 3 sacks and forcing a rare Antonio De La Tonio fumble.

Antonio didn't have his best day today, as Star MLB Brad Pitt lurked just on the other side of Erik Flamebeard, waiting for each and every time Antonio crossed the line. La Tonio did manage one score on the day, but only 53 yards.

The Stars, however, were unable to capitalize on the Limping Biscuits' (don't you just love how easy it is to have pun with these teams!) recent struggles, as they faced a dominant DT by the name of Colonel Joseph C. McCormick III. The Colonel gobbled up 9 tackles, 3 for a loss, and 2 sacks on the day.

A late fourth-quarter TD run by Boris "Bruiser" Boriche gave Portland one more score, and that proved once again to be one too many for the Stars, who fall 14-0."

*****
"The San Antonio (5-1) vs. Fargo (0-6) game showed why this is a particularly weak week in the schedule.

Perhaps the best news for the league from this game was that the Southern Screen seemed to get back on track and WR Streak showed "streaks" of last year's brilliance. The vet wideout burned Deeper for 14 catches, 188 yards, and 2 scores. The Margarita running game continued to flex its muscles, thowing down 3 more scores, and San Antonio amassed 35 points.

For poor Fargo, however, the game's only decent play was a trap left that allowed FB Girl to push aside rookie DT Stopped for a Loss and spring rookie RB Glutton for Punishment to scamper 20 yards to paydirt. But the Crawfish failed again to find payday, and they lose 35-7."

*****
"Milwaukee's (2-4) well-balanced offense traveled down to Little Rock, where the Slick Willies (2-4) are still trying to find answers on defense. The result was devastating.

Though WR Stuart Rembert and RB Rajah Saleem did their best (one TD each) to help the struggling Willies, Little Rock just didn't get the ball enough to make a game of it. Apparently the Muscle Men are just bullies when it comes to sharing the ball.

RBs Ricky "The Answer" Williams and Bulldozer tag-teamed like the crazed wrestlers that residents of Little Rock are usually so affectionate about, and together amassed 221 yards, 3 touchdowns, 2 takedowns, and a piledriver. The last of which, did receive a 15-yard penalty, however.

Bullseye also continued in key form, putting up one of the finest displays of passing efficiency in ZFL history. The Bull went 20-24, for 277 yards and 3 scores. WR The Flash accounted for 113 and 2 of that.

Milwuakee wins easy, 42-14."

*****
"A national audience got to watch live as the Chicago Eagles (6-0) squared off against another powerful team, the Albuquerque Isotopes (5-1), in the week's most anticipated matchup.

The audience got to see an efficient, play-action offense in tip top form as the Eagles mixed and matched offensive plays, much to the Isotopes' dismay. RB Randy Steele and FB Ty Wick each saw 15+ carries on the day, and WRs Chad Spears and Jet each caught 10+. Weapons were everywhere for Chicago, as they tally 28 points and nary a turnover.

Albuquerque, however, suffered the turnover bug all evening. "Kid Gruesome" tossed an INT to Ajimba Haad and one to Zach Urlacher. Rookie RB I.M. Stopgap dropped one fumble to Victor Green and one to Jason Pepper. In fact, the 'topes has as many TOs as the Eagles had TDs.

Hard to win that way, especially when you're facing an incredible defense. The Isotopes drop a heart-breaker against the seemingly unstoppable Eagles, 28-0."

*****
"After week 7, the standings have separated themselves.

Chicago, San Antonio, and upstart Knoxville are big-hitters in the league. Next week's Knoxville/Chicago game is huge. If Knoxville wins, it's anybody's ball game. If Chicago wins, then week 9's Chicago/San Antonio game will likely decide the championship for the second straight year.

Clearly, Fargo, L.A., Birmingham, and Little Rock are at the bottom of the league, scrapping for those high draft picks. Better luck next year, fellas.

In the middle, don't count Albuquerque out of the mix yet. A Chicago loss could throw the Isotopes right back in it. The Sea Biscuits and Muscle Men are positioning themselves to push into the top and stay out of the bottom. Things start to heat up as we move into two of the most exciting weeks in ZFL history!"

Look for week 8 later today. The suspense should be good for the weekend :D

Originally posted by revrew
What's this? An L.A. fan?


Hardly. I prefer my teams with some offence. I was just pointing out that, with that game on the horizon, Fargo might have a little bit of difficulty achieving the perfect season.

Go Necks.

Last year we scored on the Eagles. This year....

Heck yeah, Muscle Men win again!

I think Knoxville is gonna beat us. They were my pick to win the championship this season. Of course I didn't tell anyone, but they still are. The QB RB duo is just too much.

Week 8
"Albuquerque (5-2), desperately clinging to one last chance at the title, took on lowly L.A. (1-6) today in a battle that showed the strength of Albuquerque's drive to excel.

DTs Nelson 'The Hammer' Muntz and Captain McAllister bottled up the middle against L.A.'s running attack. Safety Troy McClure added two more interceptions to his league leading total, and MLB Lenny dragged L.A. FB Jet Li all the way to the endzone after recovering a RB Adam Sandler fumble.

On the offensive side, rookie RB I.M. Stopgap discovered just how hard MLB Brad Pitt can hit, caughing up a pair of fumbles himself. But the passing attack, protected securely behind the Wiggum brothers, managed to slice in a pair of scores, and the Isotopes stay in contention with a 21-0 victory. They need Chicago to lose twice. But that couldn't happen, could it??"

****
"Our league's two tweeners, Portland (4-3) and Milwaukee (3-4) squared off to settle drafting rights for next year and bragging rights for this. Though eliminated from the championship by Chicago's win last week, the Sea Biscuits set out early to prove they don't belong in the middle ground.

Not even Milwaukee's super OLB Superman could slow down Super Antonio today as the Italian stallion raced for 140 yards and two scores. But Portland didn't limit themselves to scoring on the ground, Ivan Ivanivich terrorized Muscle Men He-man and JeeberD, lighting up the woeful secondary for 295 yards and two scores. And finally, MLB Sectoid Commander made the spotlight, picking up a fumble by fellow rookie Ricky Williams and returning it all the way.

For Milwuakee, the Muscle Men faced down just what it's going to take to move into the next tier of ZFL teams. And the confrontation didn't go well. The rookie backs were shut down on the day, and vet QB Bullseye had a poor 18-33-199-1-1 day. Portland takes this one easier than expected, 35-7."

*****
"San Antonio (6-1), like Albuquerque, also has championship hopes on the line, but their odds are far better. Especially since they played lowly Little Rock (2-5) this week.

For the second week in a row, the Southern Screen reflected shades of last year, and San Antonio went up early on a 5-yard screen turned 51-yard touchdown by rookie receiver Primetime.

The wind seemed knocked out of Little Rock's sails early as the Slick Willie defense gave up score after score to last year's offensive champs. FB Benjamin Buford Branson of the Willies did manage a touchdown behind the humbled rookie OT Keith 'Slap' Slapinski, but that was it for Little Rock, and San Antonio rolled, 35-7."

*****
"The Fargo (0-7) vs. Birmingham (1-6) matchup did promise some drama as Fargo is still attempting to avoid tieing last year's record for futility set by the then 0-9 Milwuakee Muscle Men.

The game itself also offered some drama as the first two drives resulted in running scores, one for each team.

In the second quarter, things bogged down a bit, but B'ham QB Zeus managed to toss the ball to WR Revrew for a score that would give the Olympians the lead at the half.

Fargo tied in the third when HB Glutton for Punishment followed OG Eric right over DT Athena for a 4-yard score.

In the fourth, Fargo started to fall apart. B'ham's Artemis ran downhill carry after carry and the Crawfish defense clearly tired. Was it actually weariness, or has the losing season taken it out of the 'Fish? The Olympians' star RB notched two scores in the fourth, and Fargo continues to threaten that futility record after an Olympian win, 28-14."

*****
"And now, for the game of the year! The league's top offense (no team has held them to fewer than 35 points!), the Knoxville Rednecks (6-1) swagger into Chicago to face the top defense (no team has scored more than 14 points on them), defending champion and league-leading Eagles (7-0). O vs. D in the battle of the century!

Clearly, rookie QB 'Thumbless' Jackson had never seen a defense this tough before. A pair of first quarter INTs (to S Ajimba Haad and OLB Ray Brown) tested the rookie early. Would he have the maturity to recover?

Meanwhile, chicago used one of those TOs to get RB Randy Steele a touchdown on a 17-yard screen pass from QB Vincent Steele. 1st Q: CH 7-0.

In the second, Knoxville DEs Robert E. and Cletus Jackson stepped up the attack on the Eagles, flying past Eagle OTs Dre' Smly and Tom de Pierre. The Jackson attack would total 6 sacks on the day as QB Vincent Steele was forced to run for his life.

One of those runs, however, was a 7-yard bootleg, and Chicago found a 14-0 lead.

After the rookie QB's struggles, Knoxville turned to their powerful running game. Young OGs Fort Sumter and Lee Davis Jackson dueled with DTs Victor Green and Marshall Williams, winning more often on the day than losing. At the half, a Samuel 'The South Will Rise Again' Jackson touchdown suggested Knoxville may rise again, down only 14-7.

In the third, Knoxville used the momentum to take the first drive 80 yards, capping it with a 'Thumbless' TD pass to star WR Jackson Jackson. The score seemed to restore some of the rook's confidence.
At the end of 3, the score remained 14-14.

In the fourth, it was clear the long season and the heat of the game had wore down the defenses. That's not good news for the Eagles. Knoxville jumped out to their first lead of the game on a Robby Jackson run, and it looked as though Chicago might fall!

But on the next possession, QB Vincent Steele showed his nerves of steel, guiding the Eagles on an efficient drive down to the 8 yard line. The next play saw WR Jet beat CB Billy Ray 'Don't Break My Heart' Jackson to the corner for the tieing score. 21-21 with only a few minutes remaining.

But a few minutes are a few minutes too many to give to Knoxville's offense. The final drive was a battle for every inch as the Eagle defense battled to preserve the team's franchise undefeated record. A DE Jason Pepper sack was negated by a Jim Bob Jackson reception for 13. A Robby Jackson run was negated by a Zach Urlacher crushing of Samuel Jackson in the backfield. Slowly, a bit too slowly, Knoxville worked their way down the field.

With only a few ticks left, the Rednecks called their last timeout. Still 23 yards to go. Can't they kick a field goal and end it all? No, ma'am. That's for the sissy NFL.

WRs Jackson Jackson and Jim Bob Jackson both line up on the left. OLB and MLB Zach Urlacher both line up on the right. On the right?? Yes, on the right. It's good strategy in the ZFL. Ajimba Haad and Deniable "Get out of my house" Cook both line up in bump-man coverage on the left.

On the snap, the linebackers drop into zone coverage, the secondary stick with the bump-n-run, and the four D-lineman come crashing in. But Knoxville's backs stay in the backfield! It's an all-out protect package! There's only two receivers out there, and they are both going deep..."

Knoxville wins!!!!!

I hate it when revrew does this... :(

me to... Hey at least I finally won a game:D

Now, you mean hate it, like enjoyable groan, suspense hate it?

Or, hate like dislike, wish he wouldn't, makes my reading experience less enjoyable hate it?

So Knoxville win? Or did Ajimba Haad make a miracle INT and return it 100 yards for a TD and Chicago wins? I'm thinking more of Knoxville Wins, Knoxville Wins! :(

I posted the ZFL favorite team in the Dynasty polls!

Hey rev, I will be out of town w/o internet access next week. Don't dump me due to inactivity. :)

Originally posted by revrew
Now, you mean hate it, like enjoyable groan, suspense hate it?

Or, hate like dislike, wish he wouldn't, makes my reading experience less enjoyable hate it?

Kind of a combination between the two. Cliffhangers can be kinda cool, yet I wanna know who freakin wins! :)

Originally posted by Swaggs
Hey rev, I will be out of town w/o internet access next week. Don't dump me due to inactivity. :)

OK, Swaggs. Should be a pretty safe week to be gone, anyways. We're going to finish up the season, go through the recap, and then talk expansion. Doubt we'll get to any drafting next week. But thanks for lettin' us know!

Oh man...just read this. I thought I had checked in late enough to get the results.
Oh well. Go Necks!

Well there goes my theory of him PMing you telling you that you won........ :( I know we are gonna lose. I'm a pessimist. :( ;)

Knoxville at Chicago continued...

"On the snap, the linebackers drop into zone coverage, the secondary stick with the bump-n-run, and the four D-lineman come crashing in. But Knoxville's backs stay in the backfield! It's an all-out protect package! There's only two receivers out there, and they are both going deep...

Jim Bob Jackson streaks on a fly and Ajimba Haad is all over him! Zach Urlacher and Ray Brown drop back to stop anything underneath. It's going to have to be a lob into one of the corners or nothing at all! Jackson Jackson and Deniable Cook duke it out for 10 steps, and then JJ cuts cross-field! He splits the two 'backers, trying to use them as a screen against his CB and makes a bee-line for the right corner.

'Thumbless' is buying time, but not even his RB shield can hold up against Jason Pepper, who is tossing Knoxville blockers aside like ragdolls! Thumbless can't wait any longer. He heaves the ball on a rainbow arc...to the right corner! Did the screen off the 'backers work?? Did Jackson make it free??

Yes! Jackson's got a step on Deniable! He's open if the ball gets there at just the right time! Deniable leaps...Jackson leaps...AND JACKSON COMES DOWN IN THE CORNER WITH BALL!! Both feet are in! Touchdown! Touchdown! The Eagles lose for the first time ever!! Knoxville wins, 28-21!!!"

*****

Okay, breathe, revrew, breathe. Take it easy. They didn't get to watch the game. They may not find it as exciting as you did.

*****
The championship ramifications of this game are incredible. Here's the breakdown...

Knoxville sits at 7-1 with wins over Chicago and San Antonio. Quite simply, a win over Portland (no easy task at 5-3) next week, and Knoxville wins the championship. If they lose, however, they will also necessarily lose the title.

Albuquerque sits at 6-2, but holds a win over Knoxville. Which means, if Knoxville, Chicago, and San Antonio all lose next week--and Albuquerque wins--the Isotopes would hold a share in the best record. Unfortunately for Albuquerque, Chicago plays San Antonio next week, so those teams cannot ALL lose. Contrary to what was previously thought, the Isotopes are officially out of the championship race. Incidentally, Those 2 hot dogs really did come back to bite the Isotopes: if it weren't for the loss to San Antonio, the Isotopes would only need a Chicago loss to clinch the championship.

Chicago, at 7-1 must face 7-1 San Antonio next week. If the Eagles lose, they will lose the championship. If the Eagles win AND Knoxville wins, they will both have 8-1 records, and they will be the ONLY teams at 8-1. But since Knoxville beat Chicago head-to-head, the Eagles would still lose the championship. If the Eagles win, AND Knoxville loses to Portland, the Eagles will win their second straight title.

San Antonio, at 7-1 must face 7-1 Chicago next week. If the Margaritas lose, they will lose the championship. If the Margaritas win AND Knoxville wins, they will both have 8-1 records, and they will be the ONLY teams at 8-1. But since Knoxville beat San Antonio head-to-head, the Margaritas would still lose the championship. If the Margaritas win, AND Knoxville loses to Portland, San Antonio will win the title.

Got that?"

Ummm...yeah. :)

Yeah, sure.:confused:

Could you put that in English? :D

ahhh, it sounds just like the NFL!

BCS, more like.

OK, plain English for those of you who don't speak abengplayoffishday.

If Knoxville wins, Knoxville is the champ.

If Knoxville loses, then the winner of Chicago/San Antonio is champ.

If Knoxville loses & both kickers kill themselves before deciding a winner in the Chicago/San Antonio game, Albuquerque is the champ.

While the Margaritas would be extatic to win the title, we are happy and humbled to even be mentioned in the same breath as Chicago and Knoxville. Hats off to both teams for an excellent season!

Gosh, sachmo. I'm impressed with the display of good sportsmanship.

And now.....

Week 9
"We begin in Little Rock, where the Slick Willies (2-6) play host to the Birmingham Olympians (2-6) in a game that will clearly affect draft order next year.

Birmingham came out early with their punishing ground game. Little Rock's OLB Hobart Smith was blasted away on an OG Dionysus pull-sweep early in the first for the Olympian's first score. Artemis 7, Slick Willies 0.

But the Willies battled hard, and by half-time, the score was tied.

In the second half, the offenses picked it up, and the Olympians were able to run in two more scores. The Willies, however, pushed the ball across the line in the hands of WR Stuart Rembert and Rajah Saleem, and so at the end of 4 it was 21-21. Bring on the kickers!

Now, something plain silly broke out in Little Rock as the ZFL took the opportunity to poke fun at the NFL. Two goal-posts were set up on the field (the ZFL doesn't require them in the course of a typical game), and each kicker was given a 9-iron golf club. A line of footballs were set up on kicking tees, and two tubs were set up behind each goalpost. One tub was filled with salsa, the other with guacamole. Essentially, each kicker had 5 minutes to "chip" as many balls as possible through the uprights and into a vat of "dip" on the other side. 1 point for the salsa, 2 for the guac. Thus, the first "chip and dip" competition began!

Birmingham's LeBron James showed an affinity for putting the ball up in the air, but he struggle with a wicked slice, sending more than a few "wide right". Little Rock's Mr. Ed was a bit more accurate and sent 3 balls into the guac. The final score of the "Chip and dip" was Mr. Ed 9, LeBron 2. Thus Little Rock wins, 24-21."

*****
"With L.A. (1-7) facing Fargo (0-8), more was on the line than just a high draft spot. Milwaukee's 0-9 record of futility from last season was in serious danger. Could L.A.'s offense finally find some momentum against the pathetic Crawfish? Or would the Stars fizzle out again and prevent the 'Fish from tying Milwaukee's record?

Rookie Crawfish RB Glutton for Punishment took several punishing blows from Star MLB stud, Brad Pitt, early. Fargo's running game screeched to a halt.

But veteran MLB Still Alive? showed L.A.'s running game that he's still got some gas in the tank, shutting down Adam Sandler and Jet Li.

In the second half, L.A. put backup rookie QB Bernie Mac in to get the youngster some snaps. Fargo's DE Chesty made sure he got more than that. 2 quick sacks had L.A. thinking they'd better put the vet back in. But when rookie OT Freddie Prinze, Jr. moved over to OT Harrison Ford's spot, Chesty more than met his match. On their second drive of the third, Bernie Mac hit Joe Pesci for a 7-yard touchdown strike. L.A. 7-0.

In the fourth the Crawfish, desperately trying to avoid the futility record, found a way to plunge FB Girl into the endzone to tie it up. Eventually, the gun sounded with the score tied 7-7. Bring on the kickers!

For the second time this week, overtime brought out the solo warriors. Little Val Kilmer for L.A. and Can't Remember What I Renamed Him for Fargo.

Two basketball hoops were brought out, one set at 7 feet, the other at 10. Each kicker was allowed 3 dunks on each hoop (the 10-footer had a trampoline set up to assist the kickers on their "ups"). L.A. locals Magic Johnson and Jack Nicholson, Fargo natives Bjorn Bjornssonson and Sven Carlssonsonson, and girlfriend-stealing Michael Jordan judged the contest. Little Val Kilmer's off-the-backboard, off his forehead because he missed it, off the backboard again, catch (alright! I caught it this time) and down won the contest scoring a 49. (MJ only gave it a 9 because Little Val Kilmer's girlfriend, he said, wasn't hot enough.) Thus, L.A. wins, 10-7, and Milwaukee must now share their record for futility with Fightless Crawfish. What a lovely gift for the new fans of Fargo."

*****
"Albuquerque (6-2) invited the Milwuakee bratwurst, I mean Muscle Men, down for a BBQ. But would the Muscle Men comply with getting torched by Sizzlack? I don't think so.

Milwaukee's OT King Kong found DE Jimbo Jones a ripe banana for the pickin', pancaking the Isotope to make room for a fine day by rookie FB phenom Bulldozer. The dozer plowed for first down after first down on his way to a long, opening-drive touchdown.

When ABB'Q RB I.M. Stopgap tried to match the feat, Milwaukee's DE Rocky stopped Stopgap in his tracks.

Only a late first-half touchdown pass from Sizzlack to The Cheat preserved respectability for Albuquerque who went in to the locker room trailing 21-7.

But the second half was all Albuquerque as 'Kid Gruesome' lit up Muscle men He-Man and JeeberD while Milwaukee's offense stalled.

In the fourth, it looked like Albuquerque would take over for good, but a MW OLB Superman interception in the endzone stemmed the tide. Milwaukee ran out the clock to go into overtime, tied at 21. Bring out the kickers!

Three overtimes in one week. Good thing the ZFL prepares for 5.

Milwaukee's Hercules strutted out on the field, prepared to give some hell to Albuquerque's Duff Man. Carrying a (blunted) two handed sword and heavy armor, Hercules was ready to do battle. Duff Man chose the Atlantian net and trident, and the ancient Roman gladiators walked again!

Without a visible means for protecting himself, Hercules' only chance was to go on the offensive. Wide, sweeping sword-strikes kept Duff Man dodging and running. He couldn't get anywhere near that blade. Clearly, Hercules was the superior warrior, but Duff was working a strategy. As Milwaukee's big brute wore himself down, Duff pestered the Greek with the net. Then, just when Hercules had Duff Man trapped, Duff planted the trident's base in the ground and used it as a lever to catch and deflect Hercules' blow. It threw the brute off-balance, and Duff used the net to trip him over. Three tips of a trident suddenly square in his back convinced the humiliated Hercules to retire. Duff Man wins in a "herculean" effort, and ABBQ gets the W, 24-21."

*****
"Now on to the big stuff. Chicago (7-1) vs. San Antonio (7-1). With a Knoxville loss, the winner of this game wins the title.

The game started off with a bang as former Margarita Jet gave his old team the what-for, catching a Vincent Steele pass 15 yards deep and sprinting the remaing 60 for a TD. Well, Chicago came to play.

On their first possession, San Antonio made good progress, pushing well past the 50 but stalling.

Chicago's Randy Steele found running difficult as San Antonio's MLB Ray Lewis blanketed the middle and DEs All Pro and Bookend covered the corners. But San Antonio's Metalhead and Ron Dayne also struggled against Chicago's dynamite (though aging) front 6.

Nonetheless, before the half, both S.A. FB Metalhead and Eagle RB Randy Steele managed to punch in a score.

At the end of the first half, Chicago, 14-7.

The third quarter belonged to the Defenses. Eagle Ajimba Haad recorded an INT, only to be followed by a Margarita CB Deflector pick. Jason Pepper notched up a pair of sacks, but Bookend recorded 2 1/2.

The fourth looked like much of the same. Time was running out for the Margaritas, still down by 7. But the mammoth Margaria O-line's constant pounding began to wear on the aging Eagles. Ron Dayne ran for 8, Metalhead for 11. WR Streak slanted for 13, and Handoff King scrambled for 9. Inside the redzone, the Margaritas were threatening to tie.

That is, until OLB Ray Brown blitzed from the blind side and tore the head off Margarita QB Handoff King. The ball fell loose and DE Ahmad Mohammed-Abdullah came up with it.

Deflated, the Margaritas saw victory slipping away. A Vincent Steele to WR Chad Spears touchdown pass put the nail in the coffin. Chicago wins, 21-7."

*****
Now it's suddenly so clear. Knoxville vs. Portland. If the Sea Biscuits win, Chicago wins the championship--back-to-back.

But if the Rednecks win, the "As-of-yet-unnamed" trophy goes to Knoxville.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Portland, where the home-crowd favorite Portland Sea Biscuits (5-3) look to spoil the Knoxville Rednecks' (7-1) chances for a ZFL championship.

Today's matchup puts league leading rusher Antonio De La Tonio, who runs behind gargantuan guards Erik Flamebeard of the Neither Here Nor There and Tim the Troll, in the spotlight against an equally formidable running game with Robby 'Action' Jackson and Samuel 'The South Will Rise Again' Jackson, hauling the rock for the Rednecks.

How do you see the runners faring in today's matchup, Dan (Fouts)?"

"Frankly (Gifford), I don't think there will be anyone to stop them. Knoxville's 'backers, Tucker and Bubba Jackson will have their hands full with Tonio. And rookie MLB Sectoid Commander better grow two heads if he wants to watch Robby and Samuel Jackson. Wait. He can't do that, can he?"

"I'm, um, not sure, Dan. But that means the game falls on the back of rookie sensation and clear rookie-of-the-year, 'Thumbless' Jackson. Can Portland stop him?"

"'Thumbless', yes. But WR Jackson Jackson, no. 'Thumbless' has gotten way too much credit this year for what has been an incredible break out season for Jackson Jackson. JJ is head-and-shoulders the best receiver in the ZFL, and since Portland's CB Kosh has lost a step after his injury, I think Jackson is going to cause nightmares in the Portland secondary."

"Nightmares? Or dreams come true? What will happen in today's game? Let's go down to the field, where the teams are ready to begin."

"As Dan Fouts predicted, the two running games tore each other to pieces. Antonio bruised the Jackson backers, pummeling Knoxville on 32 carries.

Meanwhile, Portland DEs Markus Augustus Flavius Adrius and Trogdor the Burninator could not containg the Jackson brothers on the outside. The Jack-backs scored 3 touchdowns on the day.

Unfortunately for Portland and Chicago, Dan was also right about Jackson Jackson. The 34-year-old CB Kosh could not keep up with the sprightly youngster, and JJ hauled in two scores of his own. Knoxville's A+ offense trashed Portland's B+ defense for an amazing 42 points.

Portland's talented young receiver, Manfred von Richthofen managed a fine game, grabbing 102 yards and a score, but JJ and the Jack-backs were too much for Portland, winning by the score of 42-28."
*****

Congratulations, digamma and the Rednecks! Your draft-day trade nets you Rookie of the Year and a ZFL title!

And for those of you who were bemoaning Chicago's success over the last 2 years, keep in mind--Chicago is good and old. Knoxville is good and young. Only the Jack-backs and a few on defense are over 30. But 'Thumbless' is 22, and JJ is too. Look for Knoxville to be a dominant force in the ZFL for years to come.

Yee-haw! Go Necks!

I really didn't expect success from the trade to come this quickly. Now that revrew has jinxed me with the "dominant force for years to come" label, I'll see what I can do to not screw it up.

Congrats to Knoxville... :)

Don't worry, though. Milwuakee will be up there to challenge you as soon as they find someone to replace me...

Congrats to the 'Necks!

Congratulations Knoxville!

Now I have to decide who I want to try to get rid of so I can move up in the draft.......

Gentlemen, hang on before making plans for next year. The injury bug has plowed through the league like a plague through Europe. I'm going to start two new threads now that we've come to the close of this season. The first will be an offseason thread, where we can discuss awards, injuries, and draft issues.

The second will be an expansion thread, where we can discuss possible plans for expansion.

congrats Knoxville!:D