Sports Center Catch Phrases

[digamma]

So, a friend of mine found out last night he is a finalist for the second season of ESPN's Dream Job.

In informal feedback, he's been told that highlights and catch phrases are his relative weak spot. (By comparison, he's been told that on camera presence, interviewing and sports knowledge are relatively stronger.)

Anyone have any catch phrase (or related highlight) suggestions?

So far, we've come up with:

"To quote Nicole Ritchie, 'That's hot.'"

"And all the message board guys go scurrying to their computers."

"Nomar: More pop-ups than an infected web browser."

"Sergei Bubka!!!" (Not my own, but I kind of like it.)

[rkmsuf]

I'd buy that for a dollar!

[SirFozzie]

"He's into it like a cat at a mouse convention"

"If this was Batman, there'd be a word balloon saying "WHAMMO!" after that swing."

[cthomer5000]

"Where's my 2 dollars!?!"

"Donna Martin graduates!"

"Always bet on black"

[rkmsuf]

Man the White Sox need more cowbell.

[JasonC23]

"You can put it on the board...YYYEESS!!"

(For rkmsuf and everyone who posted in the "Worst MLB Announcers" thread.)

[LastWhiteSoxFanStanding]

"You can put it on the board...YYYEESS!!"

(For rkmsuf and everyone who posted in the "Worst MLB Announcers" thread.)


Amen, brother.

[rkmsuf]

"That ball got out of here faster than Kirstie Alley get's to the dinner table."

[albionmoonlight]

"Good Old Rock. Nothing Beats Rock."

(For when he is doing Rock, Paper, Sissors highlights)

[Swaggs]

"Asshat!"

[rkmsuf]

"There's no trout in HIS rectum!"

[digamma]

"Donna Martin graduates!"

I like this one...and it brings to mind something like...
"He looks more out of place than Gabrielle Carteris playing a high school student."

[sovereignstar]

Like I told Lindsay Lohan, I'm - just - not - buying - it!

[rkmsuf]

He charged that ball like a rhino

[Honolulu_Blue]

Sweet Sassy Molassy!

[korme]

thats more dongs than a gangbang porno

[k0ruptr]

someone call peter north, cause thats a shot!

[Ksyrup]

We need some catch phrases that involve SC personalities, to endear the contestant to his potential co-workers. Kinda like an SC version of David Spade's Hollywood Minute. Seriously, how great would that be, if one guy burned his chance to win by insulting half of the crew before he got voted/yanked off?



In response to a beaning:

"Ouch! That one hurt. Tests have confirmed that [Player X] lost more brain cells as a result of that beaning than Rob Dibble has ever had."


Or:

"Although the injury appeared to be significant, the team's trainer confirmed that the bruise was only a fraction of the size of Dan Patrick's ego."


Or:

"The game ended on a lazy eyeball to centerfielder Andruw Jones. Back to you, Stu."


I would pay to watch that show.

[k0ruptr]

haha good idea

[SirFozzie]

Ungawa!

[Franklinnoble]

Dat boy run so fast he makes your dick hard...

[Ksyrup]

I'll pay your buddy $100 if he works the name "Mr. Nibbles" into an on-air spot.

[JeeberD]

Jeeber-licious!

[rkmsuf]

I'll pay your buddy $100 if he works the name "Mr. Nibbles" into an on-air spot.

The next Tyson fight would be the perfect spot.

[PsychoCop]

"bada-bing, bada-bang, bada-boom."

"He's like a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest"

"That's felony assault anywhere inside the United States... but not in this game, because real men play this game."

"oooh... someone hand him his ruby slippers, because he's going home!"

[rkmsuf]

"I want bush; pan down."

[digamma]

I'll pay your buddy $100 if he works the name "Mr. Nibbles" into an on-air spot.
We've got to get him on air first, but I'll try to make this happen if he gets there.

[sterlingice]

How about not just doing stupid catch phrases as that's part of what makes Sportscenter sound dumb these days: forced catch phrases that aren't natural and just seem artificial.

SI

[Maple Leafs]

"That game was more one-sided than Lance Armstrong's scrotum!"

[JeeberD]

How about not just doing stupid catch phrases as that's part of what makes Sportscenter sound dumb these days: forced catch phrases that aren't natural and just seem artificial.



In informal feedback, he's been told that highlights and catch phrases are his relative weak spot.

Sounds like they want catch phrases from him...

[rkmsuf]

"That game was more one-sided than Lance Armstrong's scrotum!"

that's good :)

[bbor]

"That game was more one-sided than Lance Armstrong's scrotum!"

It is alarming to me that ML is sitting in his office thinking of a catch phrase that goes with Lance Armstrongs scrotum. :D

[Huckleberry]

Sounds like your friend is exactly what SportsCenter needs as is.

But in the spirit of helping:

For a long home run: "I think he'll call that one the masturbator."

For a mid-range jumper in an NBA game: "HOLY SHIT!!!"

When a receiver makes a big demonstration after a simple catch: "S T F U!!!"

Just some ideas.

[rkmsuf]

"Great defense by Team USA. A sight more rare than a colossel squid."

[Blackadar]

For pretty much anything, but it would be my home run call...

Stop your grinnin' and drop your linen!!!

[kcchief19]

My catch phrase for when a guard penetrates the lane and drives to the hoop is, "He's an amoeba -- he moves to light!"

Not much of a catch phrase.

[rkmsuf]

My catch phrase for when a guard penetrates the lane and drives to the hoop is, "He's an amoeba -- he moves to light!"

Not much of a catch phrase.

that is so "geek"

"These teams went at it like crickets in Hong Kong."

[Franklinnoble]

Well, spank my ass and call me "Charlie."

[Ksyrup]

Well, spank my ass and call me "Charlie."
This is on the ESPN radio station promos I hear. Not sure if that's from ESPN itself, or the locals, but it's already associated with ESPN in some way.

[Franklinnoble]

This is on the ESPN radio station promos I hear. Not sure if that's from ESPN itself, or the locals, but it's already associated with ESPN in some way.
It's from South Park, originally. I had no idea ESPN radio was using it.

How about:

The Ladies' Man recommends you try doing it in the butt...

[sterlingice]

Sounds like they want catch phrases from him...
I get that. But giving him more weak ones doesn't help his case.

SI

[Ksyrup]

It's from South Park, originally. I had no idea ESPN radio was using it.

How about:

The Ladies' Man recommends you try doing it in the butt...
Yeah, I know. They use the direct SP clip. Maybe it's just the local ESPN radio station's promo - I don't know.

[judicial clerk]

When a sports figure express displeasure with a referee's decision "hey,[insert name] T.S."

for general use "Bukkake!!"

"I got nuthin"

[Ksyrup]

"I got nuthin"
This wouldn't be a bad phrase as "he got nuthin" when a guy strikes out or drops a pass or plays for the USA Olympic basketball team.

[Ksyrup]

I get that. But giving him more weak ones doesn't help his case.

SIOh no, the minute this thread went up, it was all about us, not him.

[cthomer5000]

"He exploded like AC Green on his honeymoon!"

[Bad-example]

No catch phrases to offer up, but I do think that if he chose to always refer to the suicide squeeze as a killer kegel it would help.

[MikeVic]

"He exploded like AC Green on his honeymoon!"

:D

As for me, "He took a hit harder than Charles Oakley after winning the NBA Title!"

... I don't know, whatever... :cool:

[Suicane75]

"uglier than Paris Hiltons vagina"

[Ragone]

Lets say the highlight is Danny Graves giving up a homer to bonds

catch phrase "Have you seen my baseball?"

[k0ruptr]

Bonds Balco'd that one right out of here... :D sorry couldnt resist, and I'm a barry fan, so lets not get into that discussion...

[Poli]

Awwwin Buhh!

[Logan]

(After a Jennie Finch strikeout): "I'd hit it."

[panerd]

For a huge sell-out College Football game.

The fans were packed in like Jim J. Bullock's...

[KWhit]

That swing looked like a full-body dry heave.

[digamma]

My buddy just called me after finishing the final audition.

He used the Kirstie Alley buffet line as well as the Donna Martin graduates line. He said the Donna Martin graduates line drew the most positive reaction.

He finds out tonight around 8:00 eastern.

[rkmsuf]

My buddy just called me after finishing the final audition.

He used the Kirstie Alley buffet line

He finds out tonight around 8:00 eastern.

Yes! I could be a minor celebrity.

[Julio Riddols]

"the whole team got a little high off that hit" - mets highlights.
"he's throwing strikes like a match hurler in a sandpaper house"
"watching him get tossed makes me think of my prison days"
"A pass, a catch, a score, PANAMA!"

Getting water from a dry well is hard.

[korme]

who's donna martin

[rkmsuf]

who's donna martin


sigh. somebody catch him up.

[NoMyths]

Yes! I could be a minor celebrity.And if only you hadn't thrown in that unnecessary apostrophe, it would have been a shameless celebrity at that. ;)

"That ball got out of here faster than Kirstie Alley get's to the dinner table."

[rkmsuf]

I'd sing you the theme song but oddly there's no words.

Dillon?

Steve?

The great white rapper Brian Austin Greene?

[rkmsuf]

And if only you hadn't thrown in that unnecessary apostrophe, it would have been a shameless celebrity at that. ;)

I was giddy with excitement when I typed that.

[Desert Dweeb]

"A pass, a catch, a score, PANAMA!"

OK, I had to laugh at that one. Does that make me a total geek that I know what it is about?

[korme]

sigh. somebody catch him up.
yes somebody, who is donna m

[NoMyths]

"Okay, I got a great idea, let's all get drunk!"
- Steve Sanders

[Franklinnoble]

OK, I had to laugh at that one. Does that make me a total geek that I know what it is about?
With a handle like yours, I should think you'd have no uncertainty on that count.

;)

[rkmsuf]

yes somebody, who is donna m

http://www.mypage.bluewin.ch/Autogramme/Beverl5.jpg

[korme]

http://www.mypage.bluewin.ch/Autogramme/Beverl5.jpg
was that torri spellings name on 90210? sorry, i didn't watch tv shows for women rkm ;)

[rkmsuf]

sorry, i didn't watch tv shows for women rkm ;)

uhh..........ok?

[digamma]

Slight update...

They made all finalists sign confidentiality agreements upon showing up for the announcement of the cast.

Despite my informing him that liquidated damages clauses in confidentiality agreements are very rarely enforceable, he is, so far, unwilling to crack.

[albionmoonlight]

Did you tell him that all you would do with the information is post it on a public internet board? What could be more secure than that?

[Ksyrup]

Slight update...

They made all finalists sign confidentiality agreements upon showing up for the announcement of the cast.

Despite my informing him that liquidated damages clauses in confidentiality agreements are very rarely enforceable, he is, so far, unwilling to crack.
Sure, but they could probably find a way to kick him off the show entirely, couldn't they? It's not like they've already filmed and there's not much they could do about it except sue for damages. They've got Hand here, I think.

When does the show begin?

[digamma]

Sure, but they could probably find a way to kick him off the show entirely, couldn't they? It's not like they've already filmed and there's not much they could do about it except sue for damages. They've got Hand here, I think.

When does the show begin?
Yeah, I should have thrown in the wink emoticon to show I was being a bit facetious.

The confidentiality agreement lasts only through Sunday midnight, so he can tell us soon enough.

I'm not sure when the show begins.

[CamEdwards]

I like "he got nuthin'". Also like "Has anyone seen my baseball?"
Best of luck to your buddy.

[Ksyrup]

Yeah, I should have thrown in the wink emoticon to show I was being a bit facetious.

The confidentiality agreement lasts only through Sunday midnight, so he can tell us soon enough.

I'm not sure when the show begins.
Sounds like they might start promoting it on Sunday. Keep us posted.

[digamma]

He made it.

http://espn.iliad.com/index.html

He's the one from Gainesville.

[Ksyrup]

Cool!

[Ksyrup]

Oh, wait. Gainesville, FL.

:p

[JeeberD]

So what catchphrases did he go with?

[digamma]

Oh, wait. Gainesville, FL.

:p
The old actor trick of not listing "Los Angeles" as where you are from!

[tucker342]

"Sweet Sassy Malassy!":D

[k0ruptr]

to be honest tho, neil everett and his bartender... JACK are my favorite

[Ksyrup]

The old actor trick of not listing "Los Angeles" as where you are from!
Yeah, I noticed that. Gainesville has a thriving entertainment industry, I'm sure.

[digamma]

According to this site (which may or may not be the smart money), my buddy is the pre-show favorite...

hxxp://bodog.com/sports-betting/non-sports-events.jsp (http://bodog.com/sports-betting/non-sports-events.jsp)

[Craptacular]

I know it's late, but I've always liked the Al Czervik quote, "Hey everybody. We're all gonna get laid!"

[digamma]

For those who watched Dream Job II last night...

Grant survives week 1 with no votes to be eliminated. I thought he did well, but the criticism they gave him (intro too long, improve posture, a bit too schticky) was probably valid. Still, I think he was safely in the top half of the field, along with Anish, and maybe Val, though her My SportsCenter was terrible.

[sabotai]

I watched some of it last night (can't recall if I saw your friend or not), but some of the "catch phrases" they tried to come up with were just....terrible. Absolutely annoying and painful to hear. I had to stop watching. It was clear that a lot of them were trying way too hard to come up with (I should say rip off in many cases) catch phrases.

[rkmsuf]

I watched some of it last night (can't recall if I saw your friend or not), but some of the "catch phrases" they tried to come up with were just....terrible. Absolutely annoying and painful to hear. I had to stop watching. It was clear that a lot of them were trying way too hard to come up with (I should say rip off in many cases) catch phrases.

I tried watching it too and could only last 5 minutes. What I saw was just an awful, awful show.

[RPI-Fan]

I watched some of it last night (can't recall if I saw your friend or not), but some of the "catch phrases" they tried to come up with were just....terrible. Absolutely annoying and painful to hear. I had to stop watching. It was clear that a lot of them were trying way too hard to come up with (I should say rip off in many cases) catch phrases.

I only saw the first three of the one that was on at 1am EDT last night - the guy from Syracuse was quite good, but the others were, uhhh, quite bad.

[rufusjonz]

what about right before you start the highlights:
"Pix pls, k thx"

[Karlifornia]

If someone fucks up: He was looking stiffer than a republican at a rap concert.

[digamma]

For those of you who have and haven't followed along, my buddy is now one of the final three left on the show. The ratings haven't been up to snuff so far this year, so they've moved it around a good deal. For the final two episodes, tomorrow night and next Tuesday, the show is on at 9 PM Eastern.

Tomorrow night's episode will focus on college football. The contestants had to make a two minute story on a summary of the season so far.

If you do watch, humor me and vote for someone else other than Grant (as a vote for the person is a vote to eliminate).

[digamma]

So, my man Grant makes it to next week's finals.

[sterlingice]

Very nice. Congrats to him.

SI

[Swaggs]

Looks like it is Grant's job to lose.

[JeeberD]

Grant reminds me of The Green Goblin, for some reason...

[digamma]

Bumping...

Finale is tomorrow night. The vote tomorrow night may be a vote for the winner, in which case I urge a vote for Grant.

[Ksyrup]

To my credit, I haven't seen one second of this outside of commercials.

But congrats to your buddy for making it so far.

[digamma]

To my credit, I haven't seen one second of this outside of commercials.

But congrats to your buddy for making it so far.
I'm not even suggesting that you watch!

If you are on-line tomorrow night between 9:00 and 10:00 Eastern hop over to http://espn.iliad.com/index.html and vote!

[Ksyrup]

Will do.

See, I have seen so little I didn't even know how the voting was done.

[digamma]

Shameless bump.

[Ksyrup]

Nothing else on, and I passed by ESPN and topped to watch both guys. This was my first time watching either guy, and the other guy was clearly was better (tonight, anyway). Probably helped that he got to work with a pro, as opposed to the other new guy.

BTW, congrats to cthomer for the Donna Martin Graduates line.

[digamma]

Nothing else on, and I passed by ESPN and topped to watch both guys. This was my first time watching either guy, and the other guy was clearly was better (tonight, anyway). Probably helped that he got to work with a pro, as opposed to the other new guy.

BTW, congrats to cthomer for the Donna Martin Graduates line.
Yeah, a bummer of a night.

The Donna Martin line was great though.

Grant's girlfriend called the several of us who had gathered to watch it just after the taping this afternoon (about a half hour before the show aired) to let us know the judges' feedback had been a bit harsh, so we were prepared for the worst.

Oh well.